Why am I worse?

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maciejw9361

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A year ago my friend was horribly treated and dumped by her boyfriend. We got together shortly after; we love each other to bits, she loves to hug me and tickle me when I'm feeling down.
On Wednesday she promptly broke up with me, citing the reason that its for my own good. At first I thought that she couldn't handle my suicidal tendencies (which were very rare and weak, around 5 minutes of depression every week or so).
I later found out that since the beginning of June she's been meeting her ex every day, texting him a few hundred messages a day. All of our mutual friends knew about this; she was thinking about leaving me since around 3 weeks ago.
She left me to be with him, even though he only treats her as an escape from his previous girlfriend.

I've done nothing but cry for the past week. Why did she do this? Why is it him and not me? She still claims to love me, so why?
 
You're not "worse" because it's nothing to do with your comparative characters. How much of a 'better partner' you might be is irrelevant. She's attracted to him, and it sounds like she's attracted to dominant traits in men (which you lack).

Go look up the Red Pill: the rhetoric is often extreme, ugly and a lot of red pilled guys are obnoxious.... but (unfortunately for insecure and vulnerable men) there's some truth to it.

Someone like her isn't worth all this.
 
Here's the thing; she doesn't like obnoxious guys. She sees him as soft and caring even though he's manupilative and dishonest.
 
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?
 
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Apparently she had her eye on me from the very beginning but went with him because he approached her first. This seems to stick; she's pretty shy and he can smooth-talk well
 
PandaSwag said:
That still sounds like a raw deal and you deserve better treatment.

I don't honestly, if she loved him then tough. What I'm mad at is the fact that I lost all of my friends (they sided with her) and they all knew she was cheating, I was the last person to find out. Especially how we agreed to always be honest.
 
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Using the OP like that would make her a honeysuckle person by most people's standards.
 
ardour said:
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Using the OP like that would make her a honeysuckle person by most people's standards.

I think she's just confused. The other guy will use this just to get her in bed. I'm worried as hell.
 
maciejw9361 said:
ardour said:
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Using the OP like that would make her a honeysuckle person by most people's standards.

I think she's just confused. The other guy will use this just to get her in bed. I'm worried as hell.

She's not confuzed, she's into more cold/dominant/masculine sorts of men that treat her badly (or indifferently). Sorry, but you were used as a temporary source of emotional support before she either got back with him or found someone else like that.
 
ardour said:
maciejw9361 said:
ardour said:
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Using the OP like that would make her a honeysuckle person by most people's standards.

I think she's just confused. The other guy will use this just to get her in bed. I'm worried as hell.

She's not confuzed, she's into more cold/dominant/masculine sorts of men her treat her badly (or indifferently). Sorry, but you were used as a temporary source of emotional support before she either got back with him or found someone else like that.

There yah go 👍🏻
Forget about her. Good you found out sooner rather than later.
 
maciejw9361 said:
ardour said:
MissBehave said:
I don't think she is evil. 
She wanted something else. Yes, it made you hurt but at the end of the day, she needs to do what's right for her. Sounds like she needed a guy to lean on after getting dumped and hurt by that guy. Maybe you came to her rescue when she was crying?

Using the OP like that would make her a honeysuckle person by most people's standards.

I think she's just confused. The other guy will use this just to get her in bed. I'm worried as hell.
Not your problem,  she is a grown adult and can live with the consequences of her own actions.
 
I did some digging.
Our entire relationship was a lie (she kept meeting other dudes during our relationship) and she kept faking emotions. Not only that; the dude she used to cheat isn't actually her target; he's just there as a plan B. She won't admit to him; me and the guy have known each other for years and now it turns out she's been playing us both.
 
This is bullshit. Now I have to go to a competition in London where she's just piggybacking off me and my friends' success; she will do everything to get all the credit. What should I do?
 
MissBehave said:
Competition?

Pretty big international engineering thing. I did 90% of the work but it's a team competition, so I brought on my best friend and her. She won't leave the team (even though she doesn't do honeysuckle) because she's going to get money out of it.
 
maciejw9361 said:
MissBehave said:
Competition?

Pretty big international engineering thing. I did 90% of the work but it's a team competition, so I brought on my best friend and her. She won't leave the team (even though she doesn't do honeysuckle) because she's going to get money out of it.

If you can’t get rid of her on the team, then just swallow it and let her stay there. 
Don’t use any more energy on her than you have to.
Kind of hard when you are emotional.
 
I can't leave her there; she'll find a way to take all the credit for it. This competition is very important to me; It's an opportunity for me to start my future career.
 

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