S
Siku
Guest
Yeah.. I'm already back after only two weeks of my account deletion. So, I don't know if a "welcome back" is in order. I figured I'd at least let my presence be known.
I'm not doing so well lately. I've become so self destructive that I've burned every bridge that I have and quit my job. Why am I back? It's simple. I'm desperate, pathetic, and too much of a coward to go through with my original plan of killing myself and just making people think I ghosted them. Felt like the right thing to do at the time as I was already just making everyone else's life around me more miserable with my constant down spiral... Now, I'm just so **** lost that I don't know what to do anymore... And I'm too **** stubborn or headstrong to let my family know, see a therapist, or accept support.
I'm not going to run back to the very small select few I know who legitimately care about me because I'm only going to make them hurt or things even worse than they already are. I'm just rattling every **** cage that I know out of disappointment or in order to alleviate any hurt I may create while like this... Besides, I'm the attention seeking boy who cried wolf now.
So, yeah, I guess the cat is out of the bag now and my recent diary post/departure was bullshit. Now what?
I'm not doing so well lately. I've become so self destructive that I've burned every bridge that I have and quit my job. Why am I back? It's simple. I'm desperate, pathetic, and too much of a coward to go through with my original plan of killing myself and just making people think I ghosted them. Felt like the right thing to do at the time as I was already just making everyone else's life around me more miserable with my constant down spiral... Now, I'm just so **** lost that I don't know what to do anymore... And I'm too **** stubborn or headstrong to let my family know, see a therapist, or accept support.
I'm not going to run back to the very small select few I know who legitimately care about me because I'm only going to make them hurt or things even worse than they already are. I'm just rattling every **** cage that I know out of disappointment or in order to alleviate any hurt I may create while like this... Besides, I'm the attention seeking boy who cried wolf now.
So, yeah, I guess the cat is out of the bag now and my recent diary post/departure was bullshit. Now what?