What keeps you from getting your dream partner ?

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xploe

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Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

if you are on your way to find a partner who is beautiful, supportive and smart. And get into a relationship with that person. A relationship that makes you feel like you can achieve anything you want to, because you grow thogether and support each other. A relationship where every moment is exciting, interesting and fun.

I want to know from you: What keeps you from getting the dream partner you deserve ?
 
The will to want to go through all that again.
Plus I'd have to open up. Don't like that much.
It's usually the first step which eventually ends i. disappointment.
If you got a partner that supports you, good on you, embrace it. Because in my experience so far, that doesn't exist.
 
Good Question

Relationship and finding the right partner is all about someone that you will connect with and find that person really interesting. Many people look for different aspects when looking to find the right someone. It's important to be open and honest when finding the right person and if the connection is made, it could lead to an amazing relationship. Although the part people miss is how to maintain that spark for years to come, I always say that a relationship is like a bonsai tree, you look after with care and love to ensure it is healthy and happy, that is no different in a relationship.. It's all about respect, love, caring and both giving 100% all the time. That will lead to having a dream partner for the rest of your life to cherish and love ....
 
My messed up mind.
Sucks so bad when I see what I want and it’s practically just sitting there.. all I have to do is reach for it.
I don’t think I would be able to handle love.
Il stick to short encounters and fleeting moments of happiness.
 
Mostly my past, and what it's done to me. My weird behavior, anxieties, over-thinking, extreme doubts, and cynicism. All my bad traits are myself projecting the people who did a good ******* number on my head. I know who I was before it, so I've come to terms that it is substantial and I can only try my best to realize when I'm doing it and go from there. Sometimes, it's an addiction. I've had all this further  proven recently getting to know someone I now hold dear who has their own version of it.

And for whatever reason, I only keep in contact with select people theses day. They're all broken, yet beautiful people. Almost like I'm naturally drawn to them and only them now. As messed up as it is to say. I find comfort in it, strangely. Sorry, I'm rambling lol.

If it's not the past, it's what was done to you that consumes or becomes a large part of you that you cannot erase. Always these walls or cages being built to contain oneself or a form self-defense because you know **** well what happens next. Being scared, Doubting oneself, Doubting others, Doubting the world... And most of all, letting your anxieties take over alongside it all... Replaying it all, again, again, and again. Simply because you're fully aware and in fact fighting your desires. Otherwise, why exactly is your mind repeating the cycle?  In my opinion, You're missing something. And some of us just know exactly what that is... some don't.

Seeing these heart-breaking similarities in other people is a constant reminder that I should fight for what I've always wanted even if that means I fight off my past. Basically, taking my own advice I wouldn't given them in a sense. But, every time I do, I either hurt a lot of people, push them away, or when I revert back and stop fighting; the past has an even larger hold onto me than before. If I'm okay, it's brief and it's only a matter of time before those core desires of mine come back to the surface again. I'm really really trying to fight it, I ******* am... I just go insane sometimes in the process.

So, it's **** if you do, **** if you don't. So, 'I won't', is a viable option these days but it comes with the extreme consequence of wanting to end myself because of it. I'm slowly starting to care less what people think of me and what's seemingly childish or impatient. I just... know exactly what I want in life and I can't be without it otherwise it's not living to me from my point of view. It's the only thing that keeps me from my depressing thoughts, entirely. I know this, because I been through it and lost it all.... It's not me craving something I don't know. I just know the feelings entirely too **** well and fresia the pain anymore. Maybe that's a strength in itself, or a weakness. Whatever it is, it feels like me to me.

I'm coming to terms with who I am lately, and it's about time I stop fighting myself. Maybe I'll get over my desire and find other passions in life, but living with such a strong and unrelenting desire is not easy to shake..  Especially when you see it everywhere around you in the world. Continuously. The one good and happy thing that is not questioned. Love. In it's pure form among a world full of corruption, darkness, and selfishness. How can you not be reminded of that desire you're trying your best to ignore in order to live on. It's in your face in everything you ******* do... I'm sure most of the forum can at least relate to that.

So, yeah, in a nutshell ; Even if I manage to find my dream partner, it won't last. Besides I think I've ruined my chances with a few that very much could have been. So, maybe this is karma now and I deserve all this. And even if I think I found it, again, something will get in the way. It always does. Mostly, myself. The world, a considerable second. My desires, pain, and past don't like me saying that but my mind knows it's the truth.
 
My dick

Oh, and btw, you don't deserve a thing. There is no such thing as deserving a partner
 
I agree, it has nothing to do with deserving anything or not. 
Yet, I keep saying it as this sweet thing and I do see people out there who just... they do deserve so many good things in life, to the point where my heart kind of hurts. 
The world will never be fair and deserving anything doesn’t matter at all, only as value placed in someone. 💕
 
Not putting myself out there.
Inexperience, so not as confident to put myself out there.
Catch-22, self fulfilling prophecy.
Racists?
 
PandaSwag said:
Not putting myself out there.
Inexperience, so not as confident to put myself out there.
Catch-22, self fulfilling prophecy.
Racists?

Racists?
What do you mean Panda? 🎀
 
MissBehave said:
PandaSwag said:
Not putting myself out there.
Inexperience, so not as confident to put myself out there.
Catch-22, self fulfilling prophecy.
Racists?

Racists?
What do you mean Panda? 🎀

Well in America, Asian men aren't exactly pillar of sexual desire.  We're working against a stigma.  But the same time it's up to the guy to be above that.  But it's just another obstacle.  There was a study showing this on one of the Dating apps.  Asian Men and Black women got swiped left the most.
It's probably less an issue in more larger liberal cities where interracial dating is more common.
And even then in my own group of Asians, they're far more status conscious. So education, career, materialism, etc contribute to that attractability.

https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism
 
xploe said:
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

if you are on your way to find a partner who is beautiful, supportive and smart. And get into a relationship with that person. A relationship that makes you feel like you can achieve anything you want to, because you grow thogether and support each other. A relationship where every moment is exciting, interesting and fun.

I want to know from you: What keeps you from getting the dream partner you deserve ?

Is difficult to get a good girl.
 
PandaSwag said:
MissBehave said:
PandaSwag said:
Not putting myself out there.
Inexperience, so not as confident to put myself out there.
Catch-22, self fulfilling prophecy.
Racists?

Racists?
What do you mean Panda? 🎀

Well in America, Asian men aren't exactly pillar of sexual desire.  We're working against a stigma.  But the same time it's up to the guy to be above that.  But it's just another obstacle.  There was a study showing this on one of the Dating apps.  Asian Men and Black women got swiped left the most.
It's probably less an issue in more larger liberal cities where interracial dating is more common.
And even then in my own group of Asians, they're far more status conscious.  So education, career, materialism, etc contribute to that attractability.

https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism

To be fair, getting data from a dating app (especially a swiping on focused on looks) is indeed getting it from a shallow or engulfed by the media demographic. So I wouldn't let it get to your head too much in my opinion.

Personally, I was turned down by a major crush of mine in the past because her type was indeed Asian men. And she was a Irish woman. I know it's just one person out of many, but, I just hope it might help hearing some of the opposite for change. Oh and, you're indeed right about larger liberal cities having more considerable interracial dating. I'm from Brooklyn, and I've seen all kinds in my passing and I've even been in an interracial relationship myself. I've been with an Asian woman and it was the longest and best relationship I ever had, actually.

I guess being raised in a diverse area can make it more likely. Otherwise people just let stereo-types or what they seen on TV get to their heads whenever they see a photo. Sadly though, majority still dated their own race even in my old city. Interracial dating is just more common place and less edgy in liberal areas is all. If that makes any sense.
 
Siku said:
PandaSwag said:
MissBehave said:
PandaSwag said:
Not putting myself out there.
Inexperience, so not as confident to put myself out there.
Catch-22, self fulfilling prophecy.
Racists?

Racists?
What do you mean Panda? 🎀

Well in America, Asian men aren't exactly pillar of sexual desire.  We're working against a stigma.  But the same time it's up to the guy to be above that.  But it's just another obstacle.  There was a study showing this on one of the Dating apps.  Asian Men and Black women got swiped left the most.
It's probably less an issue in more larger liberal cities where interracial dating is more common.
And even then in my own group of Asians, they're far more status conscious.  So education, career, materialism, etc contribute to that attractability.

https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism

To be fair, getting data from a dating app (especially a swiping on   focused on looks) is indeed getting it from a shallow or engulfed by the media demographic. So I wouldn't let it get to your head too much in my opinion.

Personally, I was turned down by a major crush of mine in the past because her type was indeed Asian men. And she was a Irish woman. I know it's just one person out of many, but, I just hope it might help hearing some of the opposite for change. Oh and, you're indeed right about larger liberal cities having more considerable interracial dating. I'm from Brooklyn, and I've seen all kinds in my passing and I've even been in an interracial relationship myself. I've been with an Asian woman and it was the longest and best relationship I ever had, actually.

I guess being raised in a diverse area can make it more likely. Otherwise people just let stereo-types or what they seen on TV get to their heads whenever they see a photo. Sadly though, majority still dated their own race even in my old city. Interracial dating is just more common place and less edgy in liberal areas is all. If that makes any sense.

Yeah absolutely I agree with everything you said.  Yeah I don't worry too much about the dating app thing.  Most of the time it's scammers.  But my personal experience has been reinforced with what I saw.  Tinder, Bumble, etc I almost got no contact.  I used a Chinese app TanTan and suddenly I would get some.  But then over time scammers got on that too.  So it's all a bust for me.

Yeah my brother is actually in a interracial relationship.  AMWF.  So now ultimately I'd prefer trying to find someone the old fashioned way.  Actually meeting them in person through network of whomever.  Still open to social media or dating app, but I'm not too hopeful using digital media.  And meeting someone on a forum has been a mixed bag of emotions as you all can attest to based on my experience with that one person.  Obviously that one experience isn't indicative of every person I'd encounter.  It's taught me to be more mindful of that situation.
 
Xpendable said:

No it is not your face. It is your attitude.

By telling yourself that you are ugly you just drag you down and women will notice that. Women don't care that much about looks. They care about confidence, because they are looking for a leader who makes them feel safe. They want someone who doesn't take any sh*t and someone who knows what he wants and is willing to fight for it.

How can a woman feel safe around her man when can't even stand himself ?

That is the harsh truth. You can stop using your looks as an excuse and start to take what you want or you can continue staying in you comfort zone and never make any change.

Have a nice day.
 
Puddled Duck said:
I do everything for them.

Nothing in return.

I have been in you situation. I have given everything to girls I fell in love with. I have wasted time and money on them only to see that they get attracted to other men right infront of my eyes.

The solution for that is pretty simple but sounds absolutely illogical for a man. In order to make her feel attracted to you (and fall in love with you) you have to care less for her. At least in the beginning. It is strange that you have to care less for the girl you love because you care for her in order to get her to love you. But it works.

You are signalising the girl that you are not needy, that you have your own life, and that you probably have a lot of women to choose from (even if that is not the case) which will probably make her a little bit jealous and that is why the girl will chase you.

I hope that information can help you.
 
xploe said:
Puddled Duck said:
I do everything for them.

Nothing in return.

I have been in you situation. I have given everything to girls I fell in love with. I have wasted time and money on them only to see that they get attracted to other men right infront of my eyes.

The solution for that is pretty simple but sounds absolutely illogical for a man. In order to make her feel attracted to you (and fall in love with you) you have to care less for her. At least in the beginning. It is strange that you have to care less for the girl you love because you care for her in order to get her to love you. But it works.

You are signalising the girl that you are not needy, that you have your own life, and that you probably have a lot of women to choose from (even if that is not the case) which will probably make her a little bit jealous and that is why the girl will chase you.

I hope that information can help you.

Unix, where are you? 😆
But yeah, I have to agree. Sadly. 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
Listen, I appreciate your positive dating coach kind of attitude, but there are problems that you can't solve just simply by saying you need to be confident bla bla. Do you have any idea on how those kind of insecurities are embodies inside the subconscious? Is like seeing a fat guy and tell him "eat more vegetables". 

You think he doesn't know it? It will have an another effect if you say" eat some vegetables you ******* lardass, otherwise you will die in the next 6 months". 

And the leader thing.... Very few people can actually lead and project confidence. From what I have read and heard everyone should be a leader to have any kind of success in life. But that just isn't true. Yes, it's attractive but you don't become a leader by wishing for it lol

And where the hell is the "Size doesn't matter, is how you use it. Women don't care about size, studies conducted on one woman demonstrate that she preferred a wider penis instead of a longer one" reply to my small dick comment :(

AND IF I HAVE IT SMALL AND THIN? Do i need to use the fingers as well while *******? Or do I need to attack the woods used in the ice cream to make for some thickness D:
 
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