My dog and i.

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Andy J

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Hi,

My Mother died just before xmas last year. She was the only real family i had left, so as i no longer would see her i sold my house and moved away from the City which i had lived for my entire life thus far.

The day before i moved i noticed that my dog seemed unwell, took her to the vets and they thought it was cancer and told me to put her down. I instead paid for x-rays and antibiotics only to be told they were now unsure if it is cancer. She is now nearly 13 and has lost some weight. I would never have been able to live in the old house without her, i have only been in our new home 6 weeks and already am thinking the same.

Since i got her as a puppy i realised that she is what makes me happy, she is what was always missing in my life.

Losing her is going to break me, all i do these days is worry about her, and wondering if i could live any kind of life without her.

This might seem trivial to what most go through, but i have lost both parents and had two break ups with long term girlfriends, but i know losing my dog will destroy me, just trying to find reasons why i would carry on without her.
 
I'm so sorry for everything ur going through.
It's not trivial at all. Animals are friends and family too!
I hope ur dog will be ok. I've lost animals through the years and it is soo heartbreaking.
 
ahsatan said:
I'm so sorry for everything ur going through.
It's not trivial at all. Animals are friends and family too!
I hope ur dog will be ok. I've lost animals through the years and it is soo heartbreaking.

Thanks for your reply,

I try to make the most of every day i have left with her, i thought losing my parents was bad, but this already feels worse.

The few friends i have left do not have any pets, so really could never understand. They say just get a new one as if it is that simple. She gives me a purpose and reason to get out of bed each day. If i could be ill instead of her i would swap gladly.
 
Andy J said:
Losing her is going to break me, all i do these days is worry about her, and wondering if i could live any kind of life without her.

Hello, Andy.

It isn't trivial at all. We love our pets, and they love us.
I have two cats. Detached as one of them is (not the other... that one is sticky like a dog... she's a dog-cat...) she loves me, and waits for me, looks for me for petting...

Pets though live shorter lives than us. It's their nature. Your dog is old. It's part of life. She may still live a few years, let's hope, but eventually she will go, and, somehow, when it happens, it happens...


I'm sorry for your losses. I hope you can count on this forum. I'm new here (although I knew it and followed it a while ago), but count on me. I'm in another country, but at least here you can find me.
 
GustavusMacer said:
Andy J said:
Losing her is going to break me, all i do these days is worry about her, and wondering if i could live any kind of life without her.

Hello, Andy.

It isn't trivial at all. We love our pets, and they love us.
I have two cats. Detached as one of them is (not the other... that one is sticky like a dog... she's a dog-cat...) she loves me, and waits for me, looks for me for petting...

Pets though live shorter lives than us. It's their nature. Your dog is old. It's part of life. She may still live a few years, let's hope, but eventually she will go, and, somehow, when it happens, it happens...


I'm sorry for your losses. I hope you can count on this forum. I'm new here (although I knew it and followed it a while ago), but count on me. I'm in another country, but at least here you can find me.

Cheers Man,

Your words are wise, i knew when i got her ( an ex girlfriend wanted a dog, but not so much the walking and training part ) that one day she would break my heart. Her breed has an average life expectancy of 11 years so knowing that i have tried to make the most of it. However, since i got her i would feel guilty if i left her for more than 4 hours at a time. I would rather be at home with her then going out drinking, or go and watch sports with friends, as that sort of got boring for me many years ago.

I feel the only way to carry on without her is to sell my house and keep travelling or moving until the money runs out. As an empty house without her would feel as bad as a prison cell to me. It is finding a distraction big enough to stop me going crazy that i can not seem to find no matter how hard i try to think of one.
 
GustavusMacer said:
What's her breed?

American Bulldog, she is currently on steroids and some really expensive food. She has lost about a kg of weight in the last month, i told the new vets it might be because she is getting to know the new house and area so is more excited, but maybe i am just lying to myself. I can see in her face she has lost weight, but she is still eating, and still wants to play, but her breathing does seem to be more rapid.

Sometimes i can't believe how quick the 12 and a half years have gone, i am 44 now and fear that a life without her is no life at all. I am in a new area where i do not really know anyone yet, and from what i can tell it is more people walking around staring at phones in the sunshine. I live in the U.K. and most of the population appear zombie like now.

Guessing by your name you live somewhere in South America maybe?
 
Adopting another animal helps. Your not replacing her but saving another life and making a new friend.I've done that many times. It's difficult but it helps the pain.
 
Andy J said:
Guessing by your name you live somewhere in South America maybe?

That's right. I'm in Brazil.
I wish I were in the UK... lol

____

Natasha's idea seems to be a good one. To let a new puppy arrive, and make a new "dog generation" with you... A new friend. A new history. (After yours is gone.) What's her name, by the way? I should have asked it before, lol! :D :rolleyes:
 
GustavusMacer said:
Andy J said:
Guessing by your name you live somewhere in South America maybe?

That's right. I'm in Brazil.
I wish I were in the UK... lol

____

Natasha's idea seems to be a good one. To let a new puppy arrive, and make a new "dog generation" with you... A new friend. A new history. (After yours is gone.) What's her name, by the way? I should have asked it before, lol! :D :rolleyes:

Her name is Moomin, or Moo for short. I have thought about what Natasha recommended but i feel i would have to eventually say goodbye to that dog too. Also all the worry that goes with it. For the past 10 years i cared for my ill mother and came back home to my dog, it was not an easy life as apart from my mother i could go weeks without really talking to anyone else. I was always fine with that, but at the back of my mind i always feared that i would lose one of them sooner or later, i did not think both might be within a year of each other.

Also moving to a new area is going to take a while to get used to, doing it all alone is what i expected, but when you have little in the way of sharing your thoughts other than talking to yourself, it can send the mind into some dark places.
I guess i am depressed, but i do not want or think any medication will help.

I have never been to Brazil, if you ever want to swap locations let me know. The U.K. is not all that great believe me.
 
[font=Tahoma, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif]Experiencing loss is an inevitable part of owning a pet.[/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif]Be strong and be there for your lovely dog.[/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif]When the time is right, perhaps you will open your heart to another animal companion.[/font]
 
I can relate to your story. 
When I was growing up, the only soul that was there for me besides my brother was my dog. We did everything together. No matter where I went, she was always beside me. If I was scared or I started to cry, then she would put her head in my lap and just wait with me until I felt better. Since she was a Germans shepherd she would also keep me safe with just a glooming look. 😂
Animals can’t really replace the need for social interactions or what we get from other humans but in some ways the relationship between pet and owner is more intimate. It’s pure and since they mirror you and your life, they almost becomes a part of who you are. 

I thing ashatan is right. 
Grieve the loss of Moomin when the time comes and take with you all the good things that dog gave you and when the time is right, start to explore the new personality and life of another one. ❤️
 
Sorry to hear about your dog. I made the very difficult decision to euthanize my dog a few months ago. He was so much a part of my world, his wellbeing consumed much of my awake thoughts and I can’t even count the number of times I tossed and turned while I listened to him breathe. Let alone the hours spent petting him while I cried trying to figure out what was best for him. He had several serious health issues throughout his life and in the end, time just caught up. I’m welling up with tears as I write. I can’t honestly say I know what you’re going through. But I can say it’s very difficult to lose a pet. To have to be responsible for making that ultimate decision. A heavy heart is a full heart.

Even now I spend much of my time talking to him in my head and aloud. 

So yeah I don’t have any words of comfort. Just know you’re not alone.
 
Bored said:
Sorry to hear about your dog. I made the very difficult decision to euthanize my dog a few months ago. He was so much a part of my world, his wellbeing consumed much of my awake thoughts and I can’t even count the number of times I tossed and turned while I listened to him breathe. Let alone the hours spent petting him while I cried trying to figure out what was best for him. He had several serious health issues throughout his life and in the end, time just caught up. I’m welling up with tears as I write. I can’t honestly say I know what you’re going through. But I can say it’s very difficult to lose a pet. To have to be responsible for making that ultimate decision. A heavy heart is a full heart.

Even now I spend much of my time talking to him in my head and aloud. 

So yeah I don’t have any words of comfort. Just know you’re not alone.
Thank You!

I thought the day had come yesterday, but she has picked up a little today. She can no longer climb the stairs so i now sleep downstairs with her. I have to leave her for the whole day soon and i know she is all i will think about. I am trying to get out of it but the employers really don't care what happens in your personal life, despite how i word it.

I do not know anyone in the local area to come and check on her, and have no family to speak of. She is all i have. I have terrible feelings of guilt as i know me smoking probably gave her the cancer.

The vet assured me she is in no pain but i can see she is getting tired now.

Not having her in my life is soul crushing, i also picked our new home because it had a park opposite, to be told she had cancer the day before i moved here was the saddest twist. When i look out the window i see people walking their healthy dogs and for the first time in my life i feel jealousy.

If i could swap the cancer i would in an instant.
 
Could it be that in addition to the bond you have with her, she’s also the only family you appear to have left? So when you no longer have her it might be a little like losing your human family all over again? Like a bridge that connects everyone together with an even bigger wave of grief?

Or maybe I’ve just read too much into it.
 
Andy J, In my life I've lived with 6 different dogs from their puppyhood to their deaths. I buried the last one 2 years ago and I buried my mother 6 months ago after being her caregiver and eventually her nurse for 17 years. I live alone now in the family house.
I sense we have a few things in common.
Outliving our animals is the price we pay for loving them. It's part of the human dog relationship and that's all there is to it.
Prepare yourself to say goodbye, try and give her an easy death, let her become a memory, grieve for her as long as you need to.
When the time is right for you, you'll know it and then welcome a new dog into your life.
 

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