blueindia2681
Well-known member
i just need a hug, a good night's rest, and for someone to promise that life gets better.
=(
Love you all,
Lonely in Texas[/font]
Not Alone But EXTREMELY Lonely
- Thread starter blueindia2681
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
i just need a hug, a good night's rest, and for someone to promise that life gets better.
=(
Love you all,
Lonely in Texas[/font]
L
Lexicon Devil
Guest
wow you seriously need to move out
Unacceptance
Well-known member
Give them a scare and just get lost for a few days. Hell use the time to take a vacation (Not necessarily a real one, go crash at a friend's house for a few nights or get some time to yourself at a cheap hotel or something) They are using you, it's family, but their attachment doesn't have to be with manacles.
It's a drag when family relations get so shitty, these are after all folks who are supposed to be supporting you mutually. Have you tried to talk to them? Have you tried to get your mom to go to AA? Are there any other relatives who can pitch in? It's not like anyone can do all that stuff on their own. Are any of your friends worth confiding in?
It's a drag when family relations get so shitty, these are after all folks who are supposed to be supporting you mutually. Have you tried to talk to them? Have you tried to get your mom to go to AA? Are there any other relatives who can pitch in? It's not like anyone can do all that stuff on their own. Are any of your friends worth confiding in?
Lonesome Crow
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Oh man...I hate that feeling of being in a crowded room of people and being alone.
It hitted me in between the eyes one night.
My ex-gf is an alcoholic and living with her droved me nucken futz !
However...as freaken as chaostic as it was...I freaken functioned will in it.lol
It was familar to me becuase I'm freaken ACOA.lol
Will...it also explains why I'm a good manager and can operate will in a chaotic work environment too.
There's abasolutly nothing...you can do to stop your mother from drinking. I tried to prove other people wrong when i was informed
or heard this very same sentence spoke to me.
It'll go on forever...
I freaken tired everything, took every avenue to tired to get my GF to stop.
Most of the time we go crazier than the alcoholics themselves becuase we're
not freaken NUMB out of our **** minds. Our emotions get drag through the mud.
Our mental well being gets pushed over board.
It's like having PTSD, Shellshock and the Stockham syndrome
all at once. For the longest time...I had pressure in head or
a sort of cobweb or fever feeling all the time.
After you heal or get well...you'll notice these things.
Kind of like the wieght of the world being lifted off of your shoulders.
And it freaken ripped everything out of me to have to stop loving her becuase
I didn't know how.
There's Alan-on, CoDa and ACOA support groups for family memebers.
You can try seeking help from these entitise if they are avaliable in your area.
Yeah...plenty of hugs giving out at these supposrt gruops.
Peaple that's been there and understands you exactly..because they lived through the
freaken madness od it all. But they have also found a way out by supporting
each other.
For the longest time I thought I'd out grow all that insanity, dysfunctional or runaway from it.
It didn't turn out like that. ...I got involved with an alcoholic...ya know what I'm saying ?
Anyway,...there's 13 basic traits of an ACOA you can google and look up.
All those triats describe me to the key. I had to work really hard on them
and are still working through a lot of them. It freaken effected me in more ways
than i could ever imagined but I've been getting better since.
Please reach out for help. You don't have to do this alone.
I even stopped drinking at a very young age. I was informed to attend ACOA from
the get go...but I didn't. It finally caught up with me. After being sober for over 10 years
I was strong enough to work through ACOA or co-dependency issues.
I cried alot ...all the tears I held back from all the years of a fucken
living hell.
Please keep reaching out no matter what becuase it's not easy.
I drove around the parking lot in tears for a over a month before I stepped
a foot into one of those meetings...
Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.
You need a lot of healing and hugs too.
It hitted me in between the eyes one night.
My ex-gf is an alcoholic and living with her droved me nucken futz !
However...as freaken as chaostic as it was...I freaken functioned will in it.lol
It was familar to me becuase I'm freaken ACOA.lol
Will...it also explains why I'm a good manager and can operate will in a chaotic work environment too.
There's abasolutly nothing...you can do to stop your mother from drinking. I tried to prove other people wrong when i was informed
or heard this very same sentence spoke to me.
It'll go on forever...
I freaken tired everything, took every avenue to tired to get my GF to stop.
Most of the time we go crazier than the alcoholics themselves becuase we're
not freaken NUMB out of our **** minds. Our emotions get drag through the mud.
Our mental well being gets pushed over board.
It's like having PTSD, Shellshock and the Stockham syndrome
all at once. For the longest time...I had pressure in head or
a sort of cobweb or fever feeling all the time.
After you heal or get well...you'll notice these things.
Kind of like the wieght of the world being lifted off of your shoulders.
And it freaken ripped everything out of me to have to stop loving her becuase
I didn't know how.
There's Alan-on, CoDa and ACOA support groups for family memebers.
You can try seeking help from these entitise if they are avaliable in your area.
Yeah...plenty of hugs giving out at these supposrt gruops.
Peaple that's been there and understands you exactly..because they lived through the
freaken madness od it all. But they have also found a way out by supporting
each other.
For the longest time I thought I'd out grow all that insanity, dysfunctional or runaway from it.
It didn't turn out like that. ...I got involved with an alcoholic...ya know what I'm saying ?
Anyway,...there's 13 basic traits of an ACOA you can google and look up.
All those triats describe me to the key. I had to work really hard on them
and are still working through a lot of them. It freaken effected me in more ways
than i could ever imagined but I've been getting better since.
Please reach out for help. You don't have to do this alone.
I even stopped drinking at a very young age. I was informed to attend ACOA from
the get go...but I didn't. It finally caught up with me. After being sober for over 10 years
I was strong enough to work through ACOA or co-dependency issues.
I cried alot ...all the tears I held back from all the years of a fucken
living hell.
Please keep reaching out no matter what becuase it's not easy.
I drove around the parking lot in tears for a over a month before I stepped
a foot into one of those meetings...
Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.
You need a lot of healing and hugs too.
blueindia2681
Well-known member
Lonesome Crow said:
I had never heard of ACOA. I looked it up and i can SOOOOOOOO relate to all 13 of those traits. Thank you for your input and for sharing your experience. I feel a little better now. LIke i'm not freaking crazy for feeling the way i do. I always feel like NOBODY will understand since I don't really understand.
Thank you.
*BIG HUG*
Love you all,
Lonely in Texas
Lonesome Crow
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2008
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Here's a site you can also try. This section is geared more towards family and freinds of alcoholics and addicts.
Maybe you can seek out support from these people. Most if not all the people there will understand you and
will try to help you through this. There's even an ACOA section.
It won't replace the FACE 2 FACE meetings but it might be a bridge and support you might need to get you there.
There's just so much to try to grasp at first becuase most of us where pretty much confused or spun from the madness of it all.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/
The Stocham Syndrom derived from a Bank Robbery from the 60's or 70's.
The robbers held hostges during a stand off.
However overtime, the hostages became emotionally attached to the robbers and started taking thier side or felt
sorried for the robbers.
Bascailly the samething happens if you live with an alcoholic...you get emotionally attached and your mental
and emotions get held hostage. You actaully are not aware of it when you're in it. Living with an alcoholic is worst...becuase it
takes time to develope...months, years or most of our lives.
Hugs.....
Maybe you can seek out support from these people. Most if not all the people there will understand you and
will try to help you through this. There's even an ACOA section.
It won't replace the FACE 2 FACE meetings but it might be a bridge and support you might need to get you there.
There's just so much to try to grasp at first becuase most of us where pretty much confused or spun from the madness of it all.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/
The Stocham Syndrom derived from a Bank Robbery from the 60's or 70's.
The robbers held hostges during a stand off.
However overtime, the hostages became emotionally attached to the robbers and started taking thier side or felt
sorried for the robbers.
Bascailly the samething happens if you live with an alcoholic...you get emotionally attached and your mental
and emotions get held hostage. You actaully are not aware of it when you're in it. Living with an alcoholic is worst...becuase it
takes time to develope...months, years or most of our lives.
Hugs.....
samba101
Well-known member
Honestly you need to make some ground rules or move out and live on your own. Supporting people are fine and I can understand that maybe you have responsilbilities to your Mother and Sister, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Their just going to have to pull up their socks and help but being able to explain this may be another matter, start thinking about yourself and your needs, at your mother's age she should at least be working to bring in an income to help you guys stay afloat, as for the drinking that is an issue to be worked on separately and until your mother comes to this road and accepts this for what it is there's not much hope in that direction. I really feel for you and words can not explain what I would like to say.
Brian
Well-known member
Blueindia,
I don't want to sound rude, or uncaring. Truth is I have sort of a similar situation, but not nearly to the extreme that yours is.
But, you need to move out. My dad once told me that 'God helps those who help themselves'. I think that's a pretty good saying...and I don't think you have to even believe in a god for it to be true. If your sister is going to be useless, and your mother refuses to help herself up, then they are not your problem to deal with. You need to get out and make them stand on their own feet, no matter the consequences.
Call a help agency for them if you have to. But if you don't start taking care of yourself now, you're going to fall behind in life and have to play catch-up. When you're 37, you'll have made progress equal to where you should be now, because you took care of people who didn't really want the help. If they did want it, they would follow your example and support themselves, even if it was just a little bit. But from the sounds of it, they're not doing anything at all except for freeload at your expense.
It sounds like you're a hard working girl with a lot of potential to be happy and do things if you scrape the leeches off. (Again, not trying to sound rude toward your family.)
My parents are simmilar in that when my dad retired, my stepmom refused to scale down their quality of life to match the reduced income. It wouldn't have taken much. But it's been a few years and one move to a new state now and she's almost eaten through the family savings. So what does she do? Yell at me because I won't give her -MY- hard earned dollar. I sweat and bleed for my money. I've already helped out with a few things, but if they're not going to scale down the non-necessities, that's they're fault. Not mine.
Luckily, my littlest sister (15, still living with them) sees this for herself. I'm really proud of her, because she's working toward her goals and with a little help from me, starting to make a little side money cleaning my apartment and my friend's houses. I know she'll go far, too.
Anyway. It's late. Nighty night time.
Hope you're feeling better,
Brian
I don't want to sound rude, or uncaring. Truth is I have sort of a similar situation, but not nearly to the extreme that yours is.
But, you need to move out. My dad once told me that 'God helps those who help themselves'. I think that's a pretty good saying...and I don't think you have to even believe in a god for it to be true. If your sister is going to be useless, and your mother refuses to help herself up, then they are not your problem to deal with. You need to get out and make them stand on their own feet, no matter the consequences.
Call a help agency for them if you have to. But if you don't start taking care of yourself now, you're going to fall behind in life and have to play catch-up. When you're 37, you'll have made progress equal to where you should be now, because you took care of people who didn't really want the help. If they did want it, they would follow your example and support themselves, even if it was just a little bit. But from the sounds of it, they're not doing anything at all except for freeload at your expense.
It sounds like you're a hard working girl with a lot of potential to be happy and do things if you scrape the leeches off. (Again, not trying to sound rude toward your family.)
My parents are simmilar in that when my dad retired, my stepmom refused to scale down their quality of life to match the reduced income. It wouldn't have taken much. But it's been a few years and one move to a new state now and she's almost eaten through the family savings. So what does she do? Yell at me because I won't give her -MY- hard earned dollar. I sweat and bleed for my money. I've already helped out with a few things, but if they're not going to scale down the non-necessities, that's they're fault. Not mine.
Luckily, my littlest sister (15, still living with them) sees this for herself. I'm really proud of her, because she's working toward her goals and with a little help from me, starting to make a little side money cleaning my apartment and my friend's houses. I know she'll go far, too.
Anyway. It's late. Nighty night time.
Hope you're feeling better,
Brian
Ithought
Well-known member
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Mind is not that serious as you, anyway I moved out it cost me more but I am so so happy to move out every single day even I have to send some pocket money or extra and visit them sometimes.
When I moved out I had lots of thinking and decide to live for myself.
I am glad that I can buy my freedom it worthy.
Hugs
When I moved out I had lots of thinking and decide to live for myself.
I am glad that I can buy my freedom it worthy.
Hugs
Tramp
Well-known member
Have you tried talking to anyone about this? Perhaps the guy that you're dating (assuming you guys are close enough), or a friend? Sometimes it helps to just let it all out. Besides, if you need someone to give you a hug and comfort you, they'll have to know your situation first.
