Hi..
So. I am a 27 year old guy. I have lived most my life dealing with problems. Since I was at least 10 my parents had huge alcohol and mental problems and i could write a book about all the messed up things that went along with that but not now.
Right now what I am dealing most with is loneliness. I have not realised this about myself before last 2 years but I am so so lonely.
I have never had a GF. I have dated a few but they ran away like everything else in my life. Everyone I have ever gotten close to has either tricked me, abandomned me or died. I am actually very tired of everyone around me dying as well. A good friend of mine hung himself out of the blue 6 years ago. My two favorite uncles who cared for me when all the honeysuckle was going down at home died of cancer. All my grandparents died when I was young.
My father drank himself to death 3 years ago left me sitting with a horrible feeling of not helping him enough. And my cousing who I was getting real close and could open up to who REALLY cared for me and listened to me died 4 months ago i an accident.
So what I am left with is a mother who is alcoholic and mentally crazy making such a hell for me and is so extremely negative.
I have a sister I do t connect with anymore. I do have a goos relationship with her kids though.
And my oldest sister who I actually can talk to.
I have tons of frienda but I dont really connect with them.
The girls I have tried to date leaves after a while. Last one of 3 montha dating left for another guy and left me shattered.
I just got a text from a friend that theyre having a get together and invited me butwhat the hell am i gonna do there at a couples party. Sit there alone like a ******* loser who cant get a gf?
It really bothers me. All my friends are always saying qhen are u gonna get a gf? Youd be a perfect bf etc.
But no one will ever want me.
I just feel so lonely. Even when I am with friends I feel all alone inside my head.
I should just give up maybe. Quit my job and follow the family tradition of drinking myself to death.
Just pathetic really.
So. I am a 27 year old guy. I have lived most my life dealing with problems. Since I was at least 10 my parents had huge alcohol and mental problems and i could write a book about all the messed up things that went along with that but not now.
Right now what I am dealing most with is loneliness. I have not realised this about myself before last 2 years but I am so so lonely.
I have never had a GF. I have dated a few but they ran away like everything else in my life. Everyone I have ever gotten close to has either tricked me, abandomned me or died. I am actually very tired of everyone around me dying as well. A good friend of mine hung himself out of the blue 6 years ago. My two favorite uncles who cared for me when all the honeysuckle was going down at home died of cancer. All my grandparents died when I was young.
My father drank himself to death 3 years ago left me sitting with a horrible feeling of not helping him enough. And my cousing who I was getting real close and could open up to who REALLY cared for me and listened to me died 4 months ago i an accident.
So what I am left with is a mother who is alcoholic and mentally crazy making such a hell for me and is so extremely negative.
I have a sister I do t connect with anymore. I do have a goos relationship with her kids though.
And my oldest sister who I actually can talk to.
I have tons of frienda but I dont really connect with them.
The girls I have tried to date leaves after a while. Last one of 3 montha dating left for another guy and left me shattered.
I just got a text from a friend that theyre having a get together and invited me butwhat the hell am i gonna do there at a couples party. Sit there alone like a ******* loser who cant get a gf?
It really bothers me. All my friends are always saying qhen are u gonna get a gf? Youd be a perfect bf etc.
But no one will ever want me.
I just feel so lonely. Even when I am with friends I feel all alone inside my head.
I should just give up maybe. Quit my job and follow the family tradition of drinking myself to death.
Just pathetic really.