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Do you try to make friends?
#1
Sometimes I do. Mostly not, because I believe friends should/do 'happen' in life. (That's how it happened at school...) I find it's hard to find friends after you leave school and get to work with the same people everyday, and they don't care for being your friends... Also, seldom do I find interesting people. (Maybe this is my problem, not to get interested by other people easily...) Lastly, I seem to be very unlucky. People who could be my friends live far away (god knows how I met them...), and friends I made in my town after I grew up moved to other towns (it happened with two girls).

Maybe there's something else wrong with me that I can't see.

Oh, also this: I find myself uninteresting. Although, this lack of self-esteem is my own view of myself, because others have said I'm somewhat an interesting person... But the lack of self-esteem in itself might be a factor too, I guess.
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#2
I've never really have the drive to find friends or make new friends. I also find myself to be uninteresting and unworthy of other people's time and company. Not sure if that's what caused me to feel unmotivated to find and make new friends.

I suppose it could have also been that I'm more of an anti-social and don't really care for socialising or networking. Hard for me to relate to others who yearn for this in particular. :\
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#3
(07-21-2019, 11:35 PM)ladyforsaken Wrote: I've never really have the drive to find friends or make new friends. I also find myself to be uninteresting and unworthy of other people's time and company. Not sure if that's what caused me to feel unmotivated to find and make new friends.

I suppose it could have also been that I'm more of an anti-social and don't really care for socialising or networking. Hard for me to relate to others who yearn for this in particular. :\

Well you are here.  I'm sure you'll meet someone here and click with.  I think some of us feel similarly.  IRL if it weren't for work and the others being a talker I probably wouldn't have too many friends at all.  I Have been making more efforts online to talk to people.  I think it's definitely a matter of self motivation and just reaching out and saying something to get proverbial ball rolling for any friendship to form.  YOu gotta start somewhere.  This forum or any other can be a good place to try.
[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=5280231]
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#4
Not since the incident. I accidentally make friends but it takes me considerable effort not reciprociating without sounding like an arrogant arse. Which I kind of am, but noy as much as gets projected, probably.
Anyway, don't really try. I tend to keep people at arms lenght.
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#5
Nope can't be bothered really/ or so used to not having one since my twenties .Just dont feel the need to look for them now how sad is that .....
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#6
(07-27-2019, 02:52 AM)Just Games Wrote: Nope can't be bothered really/ or so used to not having one since my twenties .Just dont feel the need to look for them now how sad is that .....

I don't know if that's actually sad. It's questionable whether people actually need friends in order to be satisfied.
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#7
(07-27-2019, 07:19 AM)Red Mouse Wrote:
(07-27-2019, 02:52 AM)Just Games Wrote: Nope can't be bothered really/ or so used to not having one since my twenties .Just dont feel the need to look for them now how sad is that .....

I don't know if that's actually sad. It's questionable whether people actually need friends in order to be satisfied.

I dont know about other people but when i've had friends in the past its always been great to have someone to talk to ,confide in and just generally have a good laugh with , nothing for me beats having a good friend.But then i'm not a naturally solitary person and do like to chat with people most of the time.when any oppurtunity arises.I'm sure there are people who are ok without friends and good luck to them but its only recently i've been ok with it . Having family does help sometimes i suppose but nothing can fill that regret of not having good friends in life.
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#8
(07-27-2019, 08:31 AM)Just Games Wrote:
(07-27-2019, 07:19 AM)Red Mouse Wrote:
(07-27-2019, 02:52 AM)Just Games Wrote: Nope can't be bothered really/ or so used to not having one since my twenties .Just dont feel the need to look for them now how sad is that .....

I don't know if that's actually sad. It's questionable whether people actually need friends in order to be satisfied.

I dont know about other people but when i've had friends in the past its always been great to have someone to talk to ,confide in and just generally have a good laugh with , nothing for me beats having a good friend.But then i'm not a naturally solitary person and do like to chat with people most of the time.when any oppurtunity arises.I'm sure there are people who are ok without friends and good luck to them but its only recently i've been ok with it . Having family does help sometimes i suppose but nothing can fill that regret of not having good friends in life.

Well the question is: How are you going to make friends? I would rather have friends, but I don't know how or where I will make them. I will have to meet the right people at the right place. Most places where I could try to make friends are places where people most likely don't really want to talk to me any way.
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#9
Well as i said i'm not really that motivated to make friends anymore so not the right person to ask.Even today i got an invite to a party through my wife but just didn't feel the need or because of Social Anxiety couldn't face the prospect of a house full of people i dont know.This i have done twice before this year so just can't seem to put my self out there which is probably really important if you want to make friends. When i was in my twenties i could push myself to go and on the whole got on well with people and made one of my few good friends from a barbecue way back then so if you asked me in my twenties i"d probably give a more useful answer.

However my wife well she has loads of friends and i know she meets them mostly through work or clubs that involve her interests and church or charitable work.She is however the likeable one as opposed to myself being moody ,grumpy ,qiuet i dunno i'm good at conversing for five minutes then i panic withdraw get taken over  by my anxieties and make a swift exit.My wife can talk for England , i lisen to her frequent hour long conversations and shes doing most of the talking ,sometimes almost preaching like a pastor but her friends they dont seem to mind but women of course are better at friendships .But the point i'm making in my usual confused way is that you've got to put yourself out there.Like my wife join clubs that follow your interests and some how develop the likeability factor like my wife , only joking of course,and hopefully luck being important aswell you'll meet that good friend because one can be enough dont you think?

Hopefully someone more experienced with making friends will be along soon....where's my mate the Realcallie Smile
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#10
I don't have anywhere to go. I used to go to the video rental shop, but these all closed between 2012-2014... I used to go more often to bookstores, but a couple of them closed. There's one I still go, but I don't exactly find people to talk there... [thinky face emoji]

I have no patience for church. I did a post grad course, a couple of years ago, which was kind of cool, there was someone there, but then it ended, she has her life, I have mine, and if she lived closer I guess we might find the time, but it isn't the case, it's a big city, and she lives a couple of hours away. (I went visit, once, and that was it.)

I go to malls, but I never find anyone to talk there either...

This week I'll try a new place, an language course there is, on my way home. I'm not very enthusiastic though, because I think they close a little early. But maybe I can find people there... I don't know...
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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