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Hello new friends ...
#1
... nice to meet you all.

Lonely as hell through the day. You get to 54 and look around you and wonder what went wrong, how did I end up here?

I can see more negatives than positives when I look back on it all, but I suppose it would all make an interesting biography for someone to read ... don't people get pleasure from other people's misfortune?!

Anyway ... 

I split with my girlfriend of 18 years about 30 months ago, we never lived together and I am back on my own. I work from home which means I get up in the morning and go through the whole morning and afternoon without speaking to a soul. That hurts some days. In the evening I go see my ex and take the dog out for a walk, then stay for a tea afterwards ... it's what I look forward to. All the friends I had seem to have evaporated, and I can honestly say there's no-one in my address book, nobody I could call to see if they fancy going out for a drink. It didn't used to be like this ... 

Was just thinking of deleting this but no I'll post it instead ..

(Just reading the above and it makes me sound like a real miserable sod. Quite the opposite - I'm full of life, I just have nobody to spark that enthusiasm any more.)
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#2
Nice to meet you too.
You describe how things are for you in a pretty clear way, reading your post one gets a real feeling for what it's like.
I'd say you're in one of life's transition zones, in the gray area between middle age and the elderly zone.
OK, your journey is far from over, you're inventing the next stage of your life, saying goodbye to one set of patterns and hello to the next.
Meanwhile there's no one to call and meet for a drink.....kind of a limbo, gray zone.....would uncertainty be a word that describes your position now? That why you showed up here?

OK, I'm 66 and in kind of a similar phase myself. One whole complicated set of parameters is gone and I'm figuring out as I go along what to make of myself for the 20 or so years I've got left. Uncertainty is a word that fits me. But it's a zone of opportunity too.....let's try and get things right .
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#3
Hello,
I am 58 chap recovering from coma (2014-16) and one more year of therapy to get me to where I am now. Darn ... when I woke up saw my wife of 25 years just walked out of room to her office. No joy in her face ... only shocked. Anyways, 6 months into therapy I engaged a PI and confirmed she was having an affair. Asked her for a divorce and gave her all assets but no cash (but she had taken substantial amounts from our  joint account. All our common friends have de-listed her in their contacts .... she was never invited to bbq and parties hosted since.
I had heart aches for 1 week. Went through psychology counseling and everything looking great. Since our divorce in 2018 been to China, Singapore and Philippines.  Actually my bags are packed, leaving for Bangkok tomorrow.
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#4
Yes it's definitely a transition period, but the future looks very bleak as there are no signs of any change or improvement over the past 2 & half years. I'm still sat in the same corner of the same room, typing away on the same keyboard in the same chair I sit in all day. I'm having a beer or three even though I've been told by a medical man I should cut that down ... who cares? I don't.
Adrian I'd love to do the same as you regarding travelling. I'd just love to pack things into a bag, hire a car (mine's untrustworthy) and disappear over the horizon to some place ... I spend all day talking to nobody so going on my own wouldn't be hard to cope with as such. But I'm agoraphobic, and if I go more than three or four miles from home the anxiety rapidly starts to build and I have to come back.
This is the root of my problem. I have tried dating websites and been out on a few dates, trying to build a new life. But when they find out that I haven't been on holiday since 1982 they don't want to go any further. I'm fully aware that nothing will change and I will be in this rut til the day I drop. Sorry for whining, it's an outlet.
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#5
(07-30-2019, 08:54 AM)03679 Wrote: ... nice to meet you all.

Lonely as hell through the day. You get to 54 and look around you and wonder what went wrong, how did I end up here?

I can see more negatives than positives when I look back on it all, but I suppose it would all make an interesting biography for someone to read ... don't people get pleasure from other people's misfortune?!

Anyway ... 

I split with my girlfriend of 18 years about 30 months ago, we never lived together and I am back on my own. I work from home which means I get up in the morning and go through the whole morning and afternoon without speaking to a soul. That hurts some days. In the evening I go see my ex and take the dog out for a walk, then stay for a tea afterwards ... it's what I look forward to. All the friends I had seem to have evaporated, and I can honestly say there's no-one in my address book, nobody I could call to see if they fancy going out for a drink. It didn't used to be like this ... 

Was just thinking of deleting this but no I'll post it instead ..

(Just reading the above and it makes me sound like a real miserable sod. Quite the opposite - I'm full of life, I just have nobody to spark that enthusiasm any more.)

I ask myself this question, "what went wrong?"...

You stay for tea.. meaning your in Britain? Big Grin


Welcome! Hope you find people in your life!
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#6
Stay for a cup of tea, yes I suppose that gives the location away Wink
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#7
(08-01-2019, 06:56 PM)03679 Wrote: Stay for a cup of tea, yes I suppose that gives the location away Wink

Toungue I wish I were in England... Maybe someday. Big Grin
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#8
Hello and welcome to this forum.
[Image: dapulo34998.png]
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