OK just woke up but let me try to tall this.
I have three adult daughters. 29. 28, and 27. (yes, very busy). There's a few major problems that are overlapping now, so bear with me.
Growing up things were really good. When they were babies I was still in college. I graduated with my bachelors and planned on going to law school (because my Bachelor's alone weren't going to get me a job). That summer I was working at a construction site and broke my back. I recovered to a point. But in the mean time I couldn't work. We went on welfare and my wife went to school to become a nurse. I also worked but it was jobs in bowling alleys and things like that that would work around 1. my kids daycare, which was difficult and always changing 2. my wife's schooling and 3. my wife's jobs which she needed for her schooling. So in the 90s I was a stay at home dad who would work three jobs during the summer if the schedule permitted. Through all this my lawyer (and this was a HUGE mistake on my part-one of my biggest regrets) give me the impression that I was going to get a settlement in the 70s-80s range. I thought I could use some of that money and start my own business. That never came to fruition. I was young and naive and I trusted lawyers and doctors blindly. I ended up with a lot less, about 8,000, that was spread out over the course of the years I was recovering. The final settlement was 250.00. My wife graduated school a little after that and became the main bread winner.
So the TL;DR version-due to extenuating circumstances I became a stay-at-home dad and my daughters hold that against me saying I was lazy and mooching off my wife to this day.
Issue number 2. My wife has DID AKA Multiple Personalities. It was a textbook case. Parents got divorced. Mom remarried. Step-dad friends raped and molested my wife from the ages of 10 -13. When the honeysuckle finally hit the fan everyone, her mom, dad, grandparents, started poking holes in her story and just didn't believe her, which if you actually knew the people involved is mind blowing. My wife was a honor student at a advanced placement school. She had the unfortunate thing in that she developed breasts at a young age, so besides her step-father, she was attacked on the busses frequently (which is one reason I think bussing in CLeveland was a bad idea looking back-this was very common). The killing blow for my wife was that her mother, psychologically her primary guardian, didn't protect her and so my wife broke mentally into 17 people. I've done tons of research on this and this case in textbook DID. When I did graduate college one of my degrees was psychology. The other two were Philosophy and Gerontology. That's a weird combo, I know, but perfect if you wanted to become a lawyer or para-legal that specialized in cases involving the elderly in terms of things like guardianship, abuse, etc. AT the time it was toted as a growing field and it fit my career profile. Before I forget, there was also a lot the physical abuse as well. My mother-in-law claims she had no idea of the sexual abuse (which I don't buy for a second-this guy was as subtle as......something that isn't. The guy was just evil and illiterate and toward the end of his life ECSTATIC his diabetes had gotten so bad they had to cut off his leg and he could get benefits.
New paragragh: over the years my wife's DID has caused some violence. I became the source of her anger (which again:textbook). The worst incident I was holding my two month old daughter and she came at me with a knife. And yes I hit her. Everyone gets all freaked out about me hitting a woman but I don't know what else I could have done. I was backed into a corner. An actual corner so I couldn't get away. That was a common theme. It's greats if it's just the two of you but when you got three kids it's difficult to run out of the house to the bar until she cools down. AT this point I really didn't fully grasp the DID stuff. I thought she was playing games when she referred to herself as another person. In fact it wasn't until I noticed that the alters all write with a unique handwriting. I would never have such a thing possible but it is.
So over the years there has been lots of therapy and things have become a lot (I mean a lot) more manageable. Her abuser died and one of the other alters has become the host (which is the personality that spends most of the time in the real world.) Now that my girls are grown I have begged, pleaded, whatever with my girls and my mother-in-law so have therapy sessions with my wife so that she could have better control of her psyche. This is something I have been pushing for for years. I know they have issues with the whole idea of their mother being sick, but their mother needs them. I have proven to them that everything I say is true, but not one of them is willing to help. In the mean time things do get violent every great while. She ended-up with a bruise on her arm from a fight we had Thursday. Not proud. I should also point out that we have two other kids that live with us, one of which is autistic, so it's not like I can run to the bar. also with that there have been times she's tried to harm herself so again, difficult to just leave/walk away.
Short version. Wife has mental issues that has caused stress in the family for years.
So now me. Due to the high cost of daycare, my son's special needs, my wife's tumultuous career (she had to be on call 24 hours a day sometimes, she''s had to work 12 hour shifts, third shifts, etc. to pay her dues) I was a stay-at-home dad who would work when things fit with the overall needs of the family, so I never really established a career. I was a stay-at-home dad and my daughters now hold that against me. My last job was at Wal-Mart. I had only been there a month when a 95 pound box fell off a shelf and on my head. AS a result I have a concussion that doesn't go away. It sucks. Because it's my brain it affects everything. ONe time I passed out taking a piss. I get dizzy. I can't concentrate. My one arm has had a pinched nerve from when I was hurt in the 90s and it tends to fall asleep on me. And it's been two years. And yes I have a good attorney and doctor. But this is a HUGE issue with boyfriend. Boyfriend knew a guy who faked his honeysuckle to get disability, so he is constantly on my ass about how I should shake it off and stop being lazy. What really hurts is that daughter 2 is in agreement with him. These are also the ones with the grandkids. It has spread to the other adult daughters to the point that I have all of them and their SOs attacking me on a regular basis.
Short version. Kids think I am faking a work injury.
Final paragraph. My 50th birthday came and went and not one of my kids wished me a happy birthday. I was actually in daughter's 2 driveway face-to-face and she still didn't say happy birthday. This really hurt me. It still does. Contrary to their revisionist history I did everything I could to get them a good life. So last Thursday was my wife's birthday, and daughter 2 and family were coming over with cake and presents. I snapped. I took it as them rubbing it in my face of how they blatantly ignored my birthday. I should note here that due to my injury my emotions are out of wack. So I started yelling at her and she switched into one of the violent personalities and we went at each other. I hit her in the arm with a pair of noise canceling headsets I wear due to my injury. Left a big bruise. The family had a cookout at my mother-in-laws and all the kids were drinking, which they always do. I believe they all have various degrees of alcoholism. It was loud. I went for a walk to get away from the noise. One of the daughters told boyfriend about the bruise. Mhen I came back I was really dizzy. He came out and wanted to talk. I was fine with that but I wanted to sit down on some stairs or the curb because I felt faint. He was having none of that. He started screaming. He grabbed me by the throat and pushed my back into a car. I'm very embarrassed that I didn't fight back, but besides the dizziness another blow to the head could damage my brain a lot worse. I feel like I have an eggshell on my neck. This went on for a good five minutes. A neighbor who weighs 350 pounds came out to break it up. My three daughters and SOs were egging him on. Daughter 2 was in my face screaming at the boyfriend to kick my ass. My own daughter who I was holding during that knife attack all those years ago. My own daughter who I stayed up with all night even though I had classes the next day because she was so collicly. So I am feeling really suicidal now. I also found out that I have a white matter growth need my optic nerve (like bruising in the brain). No one has rallied to my side. Everyone is being wishy-washy about the whole thing. I believe if they were willing to help with my wife's psyche issues she would be a lot better. At this point she needs her family. Therapy only goes so far. That fight my wife and I had was the first one my youngest daughter was born (which was 2003). I'm not trying to excuse what I did, but it's not like my kids make it out to be. I'm not violent. In fact, like many of you, I'm very introverted and quiet and try to avoid drama.
I'm sorry that was so long, but I felt like this was the only way fully explain my situation.
