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I am feeling so suicdial right now..
#1
I tied a noose a little while ago. I sat there and cried. Then I thought about people I used to work with who were pretty cool and sent them an SOS saying I need someone to talk to. I hate being this despapate and two of the three are girls my daughter's ages so I'm worried I might sound like a pervert, but they would be the best to help me. Maybe I related to them because they are by kids' age range? I don't know. 

It's just so hard at night when everything is quiet and you only have your thoughts and Facebook. I can't even watch TV to relax I'm so in a bad state. 

Well I just thought I'd put this out there. I don't know why. If this blows up in my face I'm going to feel so much worse. I think maybe it was a bad idea to do what I did.

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#2
Hi Black Manta. You still up?
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#3
It's 5:30 AM, so this is noon for me. Insomnia's fun.

Did also text a girl I knew from grade school. So that's four messages in bottles to people I really haven't spoken to in years.

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#4
Its going on 3am here. Yeah insomnia stinks. I'll prob fall asleep when the sun starts to rise. I can be sleepy the whole day, but around 10PM I'll wake right up.

Edit: You ever use the Discord chat?

EDIT2: I was reading about your daughters BF who wears suits. Does he also act like Stinson? Just the suit thing is odd, I like odd but not mean people.
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#5
Grade school girl texted back for a call tomorrow afternoon.

(08-20-2019, 07:46 PM)RovoR Wrote: Its going on 3am here. Yeah insomnia stinks. I'll prob fall asleep when the sun starts to rise. I can be sleepy the whole day, but around 10PM I'll wake right up.

Edit: You ever use the Discord chat?

EDIT2: I was reading about your daughters BF who wears suits. Does he also act like Stinson? Just the suit thing is odd, I like odd but not mean people.

I think I tried the chat but not many people were on. 

That guy, I don't know. They've been living together for five years I think and he's never tried to have a conversation with me. She thinks they are going to get engaged soon, but I think he's not going to go through with it. But Sunday another boyfriend got drunk and jumped me. The last girlfriend (oldest is going through a gay thing) helped egg the other boyfriend on, so suit guy is my favorite potential son-in-law.
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#6
When you say grade school, I think 1rst through 8th grade. Is that what you mean?

Edit: Yeah I read something you wrote about someone getting into a fight with you. That stinks. Did you get it figured out in any sense? Like barring him from coming over or anything?

I think you're saying your oldest daughter is gay? Or believes she's gay? Are you ok with that or still wrapping your head around it? Gay people don't bother me, I think it's pretty great if any of us can find happiness or "love". The real flaming ones are kinda annoying, but they have to be really over the top. I haven't really met any gay women that were so butch that they annoyed me. I think it's the drama that gets me. So lots of people annoy me lol. I am getting better at the whole live and let live thing.
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#7
(08-20-2019, 08:20 PM)RovoR Wrote: When you say grade school, I think 1rst through 8th grade. Is that what you mean?

Edit: Yeah I read something you wrote about someone getting into a fight with you. That stinks. Did you get it figured out in any sense? Like barring him from coming over or anything?

I think you're saying your oldest daughter is gay? Or believes she's gay? Are you ok with that or still wrapping your head around it? Gay people don't bother me, I think it's pretty great if any of us can find happiness or "love". The real flaming ones are kinda annoying, but they have to be really over the top. I haven't really met any gay women that were so butch that they annoyed me. I think it's the drama that gets me. So lots of people annoy me lol. I am getting better at the whole live and let live thing.

Daughter number 1 is really wishy-washy when it comes to people she dates. Her one boyfriend was a staunch Catholic so she became a staunch Catholic. Another was a big Republican so she became a big Republican. It's really hard for me to put into words but she seems to just follow the interest of whoever she's involved with. She was working at a bar and one of female co-workers started flirting with her so my daughter kind of went with it and now they are a couple is acting gay. I think she doesn't have her own sense of identity. I know there are people who realize they've been gay their entire life and come out. I get it. I don't think this is the case with her. Even gay people that we have in our family don't think she's gay. It's like any port in the storm? I don't know, but I don't think this will end well for the girl she's dating. But this is just my general sense of things. I can't read her mind so I guess I'll see.
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