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Just Needed to Vent
#1
My main problem has been severe social anxiety that I've had since I was young. It's so bad sometimes that I don't even trust talking to very close people to me without rigorously questioning myself on whether I'm  even worthy enough to talk to them. I even questioned myself posting this thinking that nobody would want to read this. This has all developed badly over time, whereas everyone else is getting better and better at talking, meeting new people, striking interesting conversations and being social overall, I'm getting worse at it. I'm constantly in fear of angering people or being rejected by people to the point that I just don't ever talk to anyone. This wasn't a problem for a long time until I started to be jealous of other people. I would look at really good friends having a good time with each other and hate their guts. I'd look at couples, realize I've never had a real loving relationship with a girl and sit there wishing they were broken up. This is not the only effect though, as I have been extremely lonely for multiple years now and am possibly developing depression. I've recently become aware of the fact that I never leave bed even to do anything that I would usually enjoy. I am also generally negative towards everything now thinking that any good things in my life will crumble under the weight of my own failure and become more thorns in my side. Anyways, I just needed to let that out somewhere because I feel like theres nowhere else to say this. I appreciate any help.
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#2
Sorry you feel like this. Some unsolicited advice....it's better to be alone than with the wrong person. I gave up and settled and I've been more miserable being married than I was alone.
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#3
(08-21-2019, 03:02 PM)SpectraApocalypse Wrote: I am also generally negative towards everything now thinking that any good things in my life will crumble under the weight of my own failure.

Can you give me examples?, say 3?.

Because in your post I don’t see failure?

I see a person ‘looking out’, but not really doing anything that leads to failure.

It’s like ‘i’m a failure’, but I can’t see how?.

Let me tell you failure, failure is a wife you can’t have sex with, and if you could probably wouldn’t keep committing suicide. And that’s the tip of tip of an iceberg. Are we talking that sort of failure?.

You can’t fail, if you’re, not really doing anything , I never fail now, never!, do you want to now the secret?, I lie in bed all day, but even in saying that the ‘cats made up’, the cat thinks i’m ‘the dogs bollocks’. Is that you want?.
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