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Hello to all.
#1
Hello to all, I first registered on the forum almost four years ago... but I was still in such denial then that I never even posted one hello message.  I saved the site to my bookmarks and continued denying my lonely existence. 

Four wasted years later and the only thing that has changed is that I have wised up to the reality of my life.  And all though they are just typed words in a forum post what I am about to admit is monumental to me.

I have spent my life putting others before myself. I now realize that you teach others how to treat you.  In putting them first always I taught them that they were important and I was not.  Now the 54-year-old woman who stares back at me from the mirror shows the years of neglect as she is old before her time.  I am afraid I waited too long to wise up, that my appearance will overshadow any valuable traits that I have such as loyalty and devotion and I will remain this achingly lonely for the remainder of my days.

There I said it or typed it but even if no one else reads this at least I have admitted it to myself.  Now I have to figure out what if anything I can do about it.

If someone does read this and has any suggestions or anything I appreciate it.
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#2
Hey.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You sound like a very selfless woman, that's an amazing trait to have in this cold world. I hope for good things in your future. The stuff with your children was very sad to read and I hope they wake up one day and realize what they have done. 
How are you feeling today? 
🌸
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
(08-22-2019, 03:41 PM)az85029gal Wrote: If someone does read this and has any suggestions or anything I appreciate it.

Although it's very cliché, and utterly easier said than done, and although I don't think I have any authority to say such a thing, "beauty comes from inside".

Maybe welcome would not be the case, once you've been around though silently... Welcome to the conversation, I might say, I guess. Interacting is more fun, I have no doubt.

I'm Gus. I'm lonely too. Nobody cares about me. My parents are old, and when they're gone, that's it. (I have no brothers or sisters, and my cousins don't give a damn.)
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#4
(08-22-2019, 03:41 PM)az85029gal Wrote: Hello to all, I first registered on the forum almost four years ago... but I was still in such denial then that I never even posted one hello message.  I saved the site to my bookmarks and continued denying my lonely existence. 

Four wasted years later and the only thing that has changed is that I have wised up to the reality of my life.  And all though they are just typed words in a forum post what I am about to admit is monumental to me.

I have spent my life putting others before myself. I now realize that you teach others how to treat you.  In putting them first always I taught them that they were important and I was not.  Now the 54-year-old woman who stares back at me from the mirror shows the years of neglect as she is old before her time.  I am afraid I waited too long to wise up, that my appearance will overshadow any valuable traits that I have such as loyalty and devotion and I will remain this achingly lonely for the remainder of my days.

There I said it or typed it but even if no one else reads this at least I have admitted it to myself.  Now I have to figure out what if anything I can do about it.

If someone does read this and has any suggestions or anything I appreciate it.
Hello, az85029gal (had trouble typing that out LOL).

I'm very sorry about your situation and I like to think I know where you are coming from. I already am very much feeling a lot like yourself at only 34. Reading this has made me more grateful. I'm fortunate enough to 'wise' up in my 30s in the very least. But, I'm not here to compare us. I'd like to know more about you and what sort of situations you found yourself in. Have you ever been in-love? What were or still are your main aspirations? You are clearly a very loving person that is over-looked as most are unfortunately.

The most loving people are the most unloved. But I can't help but feel like that loving half of you doesn't necessarily think it was years wasted if you look back at all the lives you've touched in that time. I'm so sorry people don't tell you how much they love or miss you as much as they should. I'm almost certain people do, and just 'don't'. Mostly out of guilt or they see they can't get more out of you than they already are.

I wish I could make you younger or get people to see you. I see you.... beautiful and amazing you!! Don't let your age and the world let your amazing heart turn to stone or ash. Just be more selfish for your own sake every once and awhile. I hope you find someone or that spark so that your remainder of your years actually feel like you've lived more and you don't focus on your reflection in the mirror anymore.

(08-23-2019, 11:05 AM)GustavusMacer Wrote:
(08-22-2019, 03:41 PM)az85029gal Wrote: If someone does read this and has any suggestions or anything I appreciate it.

Although it's very cliché, and utterly easier said than done, and although I don't think I have any authority to say such a thing, "beauty comes from inside".

Maybe welcome would not be the case, once you've been around though silently... Welcome to the conversation, I might say, I guess. Interacting is more fun, I have no doubt.

I'm Gus. I'm lonely too. Nobody cares about me. My parents are old, and when they're gone, that's it. (I have no brothers or sisters, and my cousins don't give a damn.)

You have as much authority to say such a thing as anyone else. Especially because you're right!

I think people just mis-understand you with how you present yourself and feel like they may not be able to hold a conversation with you. Not because they don't care. But that is actually your best trait. You seem extremely educated and very much a lover of literature and maybe even history? I'm obviously guessing here. You were just born in the wrong generation it seems and you're lost in translation, sadly. Sad

Crap, I'm not trying to hijack this thread either lol. Simply stating what I've observed and seen. I think you just have to find that like-minded company in which you are finally seen for who you are.

You're obviously a very caring person as well otherwise you wouldn't be replying in all these threads as you have been. I'm sorry for not saying these things to you sooner. You're very much an awesome and unique individual.
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