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Hello everyone. I use to be involved in an active forum for a long time but in the last 10 years have not, due to lack of Internet at home. Now a days I rely mostly on my smartphone and free wifi when I find it. Recent events have made me feel particularly lonely so I ventured out looking for an online home.

I lost my job about 3 months ago, which really affected human contact in person. To further cast dark clouds in my life I recently found out my ex gf passed away. We met online, it was a long distance relstionship but we did meet in person and talked everyday. We stayed in touch just as friends after breaking up. The last time I msg'ed her was Mother's Day (she has 2 children) and she only replied "thanks." Since then no contact. Then August 20th was her birthday and i sent her a Happy Birthday msg but did not get a reply. It was then that I realized her online activity ceased since May. On a whim, I google searched her and found her obituary. She died unexpectedly at home, I don't have contact info for her family so I have no answers as to what happened. 

I had found closure when she and I broke up and came to terms with the end of our relationship. But her death, and the manner in which I found out, is the worse kind of closure I could imagine of this.

So I found this forum hoping to have a social  outlet and get out of my own mind. It's bad enough living as a hermit let alone a mental hermit heh. See you folks around!
[Image: welcome-1.gif~c200]

So sorry for everything ur going through!
I can relate to being a hermit.
That's a story we don't usually see. [Image: p49esblpm9r2.png] Though it may be more common than I think...
I'm Gus.
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
Thanks for the welcomes. Well it's been about a week, I'm still kinda brooding, but found my appetite to eat again. Still trying to find motivation to get up and go out, resume my job searching and what not.

Been using this stormy New England weather as an excuse to be a hermit and do nothing but the sun has to come out some time.
I have to accept that life isn't fair. Things happen that we don't agree with. I have to accept facts that I don't understand. How can a kind, loving, gentle person leave us so soon, yet here I am a useless waste, mourning her loss ? "Passed away suddenly." At a young age? How is that right?

It really makes me question religion when these things don't make sense. Faith donesnt comfort me in this time, only casts more doubt. I miss my best friend
Hey LittleWolf.

Sorry to hear about your ex-gf. I know that when someone close to us passes away, it really makes a person feel lost - exactly like you said, like the world no longer makes sense and you don't know where to go from there. I'm still trying to figure out how to get enthusiasm for life again after losing some close family members, myself.

Lastly and on a much lighter note, I like your avatar. That wolf puppy is really cute Smile
Hi TheSkaFish,

Yes the feeling of loss is a huge road block. My sympathies go forth to you as well friend. Coping and healing is a long frustrating process.

I too will end on a light note. Funny story about how i came across the name LittleWolf. I use to work at a supermarket and wound up in the service desk where it's locked by a door because of the money transaction. Well my co-worker needed to be let in and she would say "little wolf, little wolf, let me in, let me in!" Turns out her daughter was in a school play and they did a version of 3 liddle pigs except in reverse. So 3 liddle wolves and one big bad pig. Everyone started calling me little wolf.

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