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A goodbye
#1
I thought about this some days ago. How would I react if someone close to me online would be in an accident.
The void left behind would feel like it never could be filled and truth is it never can. 
I know that the standard line is that life goes on and yes it does but no one could take the place made for that person.
I think the main problem would be not knowing what happened and it would rob me of closure.
I would much rather face the truth of a suicide or hear that I'm not going to be a part of the future.
I get that it's hard to say this and some choose to say nothing but I can't help but feel it's a dirt bag way of being. It's weakness. Its choosing to spare yourself from pain and giving it to someone else. 
I guess it's the ultimate test of selflessness.
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#2
I go through very similar thought processes. Both sides of it actually...

I'm guilty of pushing people away. Most because I'm convinced they don't see me the same way or weren't friends at all. And they don't really care when I'm gone. They'll move on since my therapy lessons are cut off. At least, that's the bullshit I always fed myself and believed. That is selfish indeed and I know I'm wrong about some..... It's usually provoked by some kind of hurt though, no?

I think most people who do it are too stuck on their hurt that they don't even think it's possible for the other person to be hurting just as much, if not more, than them. To be fair, it's not always intentionally selfish. Or, they think of it as a "I did nothing wrong, and you should reach out to ME", kinda stubbornness that both sides wind up doing.

I guess it depends on the level of the relationship as well. Most of the people I pushed away that I still love, I find out how they're doing in my own way. Just hurts too much to get close, I'm seen wrongly when I do, or the guilt built up so much after so long that it makes it almost impossible for that person to see you that same way again. It's you still convincing yourself that you aren't likable or love-able. By the time you get out of your selfish hole of hurt, you realized you already fucked things up and can't be trusted again. Etc..

So yeah, it depends, and it can be complicated depending on the person.

Holding resentment towards someone who is hurt is just as selfish as well. The BOTH people are essentially doing the SAME EXACT thing lmao.

Moving on from your hurt and starting anew is just as much strength as it is weakness. And sometimes you get used to that trend in order to live on with your life.

It's basically people misunderstanding each other or being upset that they aren't getting what they want. OR, they were legitimately hurt by someone they loved. That's what it boils down to. I say, if you are trying and not being stubborn alongside the person, you did nothing wrong, Then I agree, they're being selfish and a dirt bag. If you are, then you BOTH are just being a self-justified hypocrites.

But yeah, it fucking sucks to not be in the know of someone you care about and especially if you have to contain yourself in asking.... in fear of being seen wrongly or being too much. :/

In short, if telepathy existed this forum and this very thread wouldn't be here lol.

Excuse my rambling, or maybe not making any sense lmao just got home from work and been very sleep deprived. Toungue
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#3
Damn it. You are still making me jealous! Look at all that. 😅🥳
I do also think that they get stuck in their own pain but not being able to see the suffering of someone you are supposed to care about kind of seems impossible to me. I dunno. Maybe it is possible. Yet, my thought then always ends with “yeah if that’s impossible then that relationship wasn’t as important to begin with. 
It’s kind of funny though because I do it towards my father. Him and I are at opposite ends. Not enemies, not friends either. Just stuck together by this blood bond. I also know that our relationship isn’t that important in the end. 
Resentment. Hmm. Forgiving can be very easy. Yet, the trust broken can be hard to fix. I think there is a difference there. We all cause pain now and then, some more that others, and holding resentment kind of only makes yourself hurt even more. Yet, some things are hard to forget. 
You got some nice rambles Siku. 🌸
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#4
Wait, W T H!!!! This is the exact thing that happened to me recently.
And that too, with someone I met here only.
Last time we met, they mentioned some health issues.
And their 'Last seen' status on all the sites we were connected, was on the same date, and that was the date we talked last time.
It has been months now, the mystery is killing me.
________________________________________________________________
Smile   Toungue
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#5
(09-01-2019, 11:31 PM)M_also_lonely Wrote: Wait, W T H!!!!  This is the exact thing that happened to me recently.
And that too, with someone I met here only.
Last time we met, they mentioned some health issues.
And their 'Last seen' status on all the sites we were connected, was on the same date, and that was the date we talked last time.
It has been months now, the mystery is killing me.

I hope you figure it out eventually. 
Sucks to be in the dark like that. ❤️
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#6
I have to admit that life goes dark for me when an online friend just vanishes and I didn't even get the chance of saying goodbye and good luck to them before they left.

Ironic, but many months ago I had a car accident and it was so serious that one of my online friends went close to batty for not hearing from me for ages, but then my daughter visited hospital where I was recovering and said lots of messages were piling up on my phone (it was dinging all the time) and what to do with them? So in bed I dictated texts for her to send on my behalf, and then my online friend replied saying what a relief hearing back because my sudden disappearence had created such a void in her that she cried most nights.

Oh gosh, how bad I felt! But we continued writing and I explained my daughter was texting her because my hands had been bandaged. But the day I was going to be discharged - who should arrive atr the hospital but my online friend!

It was a long lost reunion! Smile Never felt so happy as I did then!

Just want to say thank you all for sharing your thoughts. It was such a great feeling, too, being discharged and going home with my 11 year old and new found buddy.

*Pretty flowers & unicorns* Big Grin

(10-28-2019, 10:14 AM)Rosie007 Wrote: I have to admit that life goes dark for me when an online friend just vanishes and I didn't even get the chance of saying goodbye and good luck to them before they left.

Ironic, but many months ago I had a car accident and it was so serious that one of my online friends went close to batty for not hearing from me for ages, but then my daughter visited hospital where I was recovering and said lots of messages were piling up on my phone (it was dinging all the time) and what to do with them? So in bed I dictated texts for her to send on my behalf, and then my online friend replied saying what a relief hearing back because my sudden disappearence had created such a void in her that she cried most nights.

Oh gosh, how bad I felt! But we continued writing and I explained my daughter was texting her because my hands had been bandaged. But the day I was going to be discharged - who should arrive atr the hospital but my online friend!

It was a long lost reunion! Smile Never felt so happy as I did then!

Just want to say thank you all for sharing your thoughts. It was such a great feeling, too, being discharged and going home with my 11 year old and new found buddy.

*Pretty flowers & unicorns* Big Grin
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#7
If I died, i'd your feet to let you know I'm gone...

Ha! Ha!

I don't know how the spiritual realm works but, one night, when my Ex wife and I where sleeping, I heard a noise on the ceiling and I told her "something este was happening elsewhere..." Next day, we knew one of her siblings died... I have the hunch that, when a person really wants to reach you or talk to you, they ll find a way you guess it.
I'll be all I want to be!
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