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Shanta

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Hello Everyone

I am a new member and this is my first post.  I live in India, am 56 years old and live alone.  

Have been alone now for 8 years.  First few years were ok but after that (perhaps due to some health issues) i noticed myself becoming so extremely introspective that I seemed to spend all waking moments worrying about something or the other (mainly my health, relationships etc) I am sure all this has contributed heavily to this loneliness.  Compounded to this is a wide range of family issues the result of which has been my further isolation from everything that really binds a person healthily to this world.

Sometimes it is good and healthy to 'speak' to people who are new to you.  Which is why I joined here.  I am hoping that horrible terrible loneliness might be reduced by hearing from all of you.

Thank you for this site and this opportunity to communicate.
 
Welcome Shanta 🌸
Hope your loneliness gets better!
How  are you doing today?
 
Hi Shanta. I hope your day is going good. I always thought India was an interesting Country.
 
black-cat-welcome_1.gif
:shy:
 
MissBehave said:
Welcome Shanta 🌸
Hope your loneliness gets better!
How  are you doing today?

Hi MissBehave

Thanks for the good wishes.  Its very nice to get acknowledgement for the words we write.  Its sometimes so very difficult to put into words the loneliness we feel that when we do get 'noticed' for it, it is heart warming.  Really!
So how are you and what motivated you too look for a website like this?

I am interested.


RovoR said:
Hi Shanta. I hope your day is going good. I always thought India was an interesting Country.

HI RovoR

Yes, my day is good.  India is an interesting place, not always nice but still my home.  I am not very patriotic or anything like that but still recognize that I still owe it a lot.  It has supported me all my life and to criticize or condemn it would be ingratitude.

Hope your day is going great.  Can you tell me a little about yourself?  The best way to beat loneliness is to extend to someone, anyone who has time for you.  So often the people who you do know don't have time for you.

No matter what age, nationality etc, we all have the same problems.

Have a good day


ahsatan said:

Thank you for the welcome ahsatan.  Glad to have joined this forum.
Hope you and all on the forum have a good day
 
I know! Doesn’t take a lot to give some kind words and it ends up rewarding me with much more than I give away. 
I joined this forum for several reasons. I don’t have a problem with not having people around me, it’s more the quality of them. I’m pretty much messed up and I guess I wanted to find someone that actually understood me, so I started looking for that. It can get lonely when you don’t have someone that knows you by heart. ❤️ 
I also have problems that makes it hard for me to live, so being able to talk about that is what I needed too. 
Maybe it was a desperate attempt for something of value. 

Hope you have a great day! I’m having my aunt over very soon so I’m looking forward to that. She is a cool lady.
 
MissBehave said:
I know! Doesn’t take a lot to give some kind words and it ends up rewarding me with much more than I give away. 
I joined this forum for several reasons. I don’t have a problem with not having people around me, it’s more the quality of them. I’m pretty much messed up and I guess I wanted to find someone that actually understood me, so I started looking for that. It can get lonely when you don’t have someone that knows you by heart. ❤️ 
I also have problems that makes it hard for me to live, so being able to talk about that is what I needed too. 
Maybe it was a desperate attempt for something of value. 

Hope you have a great day! I’m having my aunt over very soon so I’m looking forward to that. She is a cool lady.

I think it is almost impossible to find anybody who understands us.  The best we can hope for is a little bit of their time and a few hopefully encouraging happy words from them.  Too often I have found that  people appear to be close to you but are usually after something else from you.  I mean, they want that they think you can give, be it money or help or whatever.  a small warning to everyone here:  No one wants our advice so don't give it.
 Anyway, nice to have heard from you.  Have a great time with your cool Aunt.
 
I don’t think there is a single person out there that’s completely selfless. All actions should be motivated by your own desire and not someone else’s. Ofc, showing respect, love and all that for others is a part of being a decent human but in the end, life is supposed to be about the one living it. 
Any relationship is a trade of services. You give attention and time to someone in order to get it back.
There are definitely different levels of this. Some is almost purely selfish without consideration of others at all and some wouldn’t dream of doing that. 
I do also believe there are a lot of users out there. I’ve seen and experienced it myself, I’ve also been one of them in certain situations. 
I’ve kind of opened my way of thinking regarding this recently. There is some out there that have my interest as one of the top things to protect. It’s incredibly rare but... it’s out there.
 
Shanta said:
Hello Everyone

I am a new member and this is my first post.  I live in India, am 56 years old and live alone.  

Have been alone now for 8 years.  First few years were ok but after that (perhaps due to some health issues) i noticed myself becoming so extremely introspective that I seemed to spend all waking moments worrying about something or the other (mainly my health, relationships etc) I am sure all this has contributed heavily to this loneliness.  Compounded to this is a wide range of family issues the result of which has been my further isolation from everything that really binds a person healthily to this world.

Sometimes it is good and healthy to 'speak' to people who are new to you.  Which is why I joined here.  I am hoping that horrible terrible loneliness might be reduced by hearing from all of you.

Thank you for this site and this opportunity to communicate.

I think a person living alone can make him/herself very important, more important than others and that is the recipe for unhappiness
 
Riverman3 said:
Shanta said:
Hello Everyone

I am a new member and this is my first post.  I live in India, am 56 years old and live alone.  

Have been alone now for 8 years.  First few years were ok but after that (perhaps due to some health issues) i noticed myself becoming so extremely introspective that I seemed to spend all waking moments worrying about something or the other (mainly my health, relationships etc) I am sure all this has contributed heavily to this loneliness.  Compounded to this is a wide range of family issues the result of which has been my further isolation from everything that really binds a person healthily to this world.

Sometimes it is good and healthy to 'speak' to people who are new to you.  Which is why I joined here.  I am hoping that horrible terrible loneliness might be reduced by hearing from all of you.

Thank you for this site and this opportunity to communicate.

I think a person living alone can make him/herself very important, more important than others and that is the recipe for unhappiness

I agree with you.  Self absorption is the price you sometimes have to pay when you live alone.  But it is also within one's own power to cut through this damaging habit.  And in the end, that is all it is...a habit.  And it can be broken.

Like any habit, it (self absorption or self importance) is a habit that is broken by a forging of new 'neural pathways', that is by consciously 'doing' something else, something new.  This can be done by helping someone, meeting new people, listening to someone who is in need of of some kindness and many such similar 'doings'.   We have to keep on doing it, not for a day or two but repeatedly. Constantly and without hesitation.  If we fall back to the old habit, then just getting up and starting again.  There is no other way that I have seen.  

I also think it is possible to acquire the habit of self-importance even in the midst of a life full of others: of family, relationships, children etc.  It is not limited to those who live alone.  

Unhappiness is something we create ourselves.  No one and nothing forced it on us.  And in the end we move to the opposite by ourselves.

Thanks for listening.
 

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