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New member
(09-12-2019, 06:09 AM)Riverman3 Wrote:
(09-07-2019, 04:51 PM)Shanta Wrote: Hello Everyone

I am a new member and this is my first post.  I live in India, am 56 years old and live alone.  

Have been alone now for 8 years.  First few years were ok but after that (perhaps due to some health issues) i noticed myself becoming so extremely introspective that I seemed to spend all waking moments worrying about something or the other (mainly my health, relationships etc) I am sure all this has contributed heavily to this loneliness.  Compounded to this is a wide range of family issues the result of which has been my further isolation from everything that really binds a person healthily to this world.

Sometimes it is good and healthy to 'speak' to people who are new to you.  Which is why I joined here.  I am hoping that horrible terrible loneliness might be reduced by hearing from all of you.

Thank you for this site and this opportunity to communicate.

I think a person living alone can make him/herself very important, more important than others and that is the recipe for unhappiness

I agree with you.  Self absorption is the price you sometimes have to pay when you live alone.  But it is also within one's own power to cut through this damaging habit.  And in the end, that is all it is...a habit.  And it can be broken.

Like any habit, it (self absorption or self importance) is a habit that is broken by a forging of new 'neural pathways', that is by consciously 'doing' something else, something new.  This can be done by helping someone, meeting new people, listening to someone who is in need of of some kindness and many such similar 'doings'.   We have to keep on doing it, not for a day or two but repeatedly. Constantly and without hesitation.  If we fall back to the old habit, then just getting up and starting again.  There is no other way that I have seen.  

I also think it is possible to acquire the habit of self-importance even in the midst of a life full of others: of family, relationships, children etc.  It is not limited to those who live alone.  

Unhappiness is something we create ourselves.  No one and nothing forced it on us.  And in the end we move to the opposite by ourselves.

Thanks for listening.

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