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Delicate Issue
#1
What I'm going to talk about is different from everything I've seen in this forum, so I hope it fits. It is also a delicate issue.
A few months ago I spoke here about a failed relationship I experienced in the past 3 years that left me sad and lonely. Fortunately I feel much better now, as I went to college and made new friends, along with investing more in the friendships I already had. Thank you for all your help! Smile
As I said I don't feel sad anymore and I learned to accept myself better. From that and reflecting on who I am, a new issue has arrived. Looking back at the past, I don't remember feeling true sexually attraction to anyone. I did feel platonic and even romantic attraction, like with that girl I described, but when I go out I don't really wish to have sex with anyone in that club or bar. Another aspect is that I can't distinguish attractiveness between people, as I kind of see beauty in every girl. When my colleagues and friends talk which girls are the most attractive in the class or school, I can't and never could name someone. Perhaps the strongest evidence is that porn has always disgusted me and I never felt the urge to see it. I don't feel attracted to boys either so the obvious answer here is that I may be asexual. However, I also find strong evidence against because I did want to have sex with the girl I described, even though only in a few occasions, like certain parties. 
Up to this point I've never been in a romantic relationship, serious or otherwise, neither did I had sex. I don't think I'm asexual but I do consider giving up permanently on those things, a goal I've been pursuing for quite sometime without success. I know one can't become asexual, because it's not really a choice, but I can go abstinent. 
So what do you think? Is there any way I can find out if I'm asexual? If I'm not, what do you think about taking abstinence? If so, is there any way I can make a serious abstinence vote?
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#2
Hi Sker,

To be honest it doesn't really matter about labels, you're a human being and we're all a bit different with different tastes and desires etc. There's nothing wrong with not being sexually attracted to anyone and that feeling/decision doesn't have to have a name. Be yourself and enjoy being you, it's that simple.

To be honest it's often the case that people feel as though their sexual drives are something that complicates life, people fighting with their inner desires, feelings and temptations. Your position sounds very peaceful and simple and nothing to be ashamed of.

Wishing you all the best.
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#3
(09-28-2019, 03:20 AM)Yeti1980 Wrote: Hi Sker,

To be honest it doesn't really matter about labels, you're a human being and we're all a bit different with different tastes and desires etc. There's nothing wrong with not being sexually attracted to anyone and that feeling/decision doesn't have to have a name. Be yourself and enjoy being you, it's that simple.

To be honest it's often the case that people feel as though their sexual drives are something that complicates life, people fighting with their inner desires, feelings and temptations. Your position sounds very peaceful and simple and nothing to be ashamed of.

Wishing you all the best.
Thank you man! Smile
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#4
Sker01, from a life long single, Christian man perspective, I agree with Yeti1980.  Let me add some comments. 

It's possible that you have a low testosterone level, and if you've any other symptoms suggesting this, then get it tested with your next physical's blood test. It's always nice to know where your vital numbers are anyway.  But, if that turns out to be normal, then I'd suggest that you've been given a hidden blessing.

Ever hear the expression of a guy thinking with his dick rather than his brain?  In meeting thousands of guys in my career and world travels, I'll testify that I've met too many guys meeting this cliche.  They let their sexual desires rule their lives and often make bad decisions in order to win the short lived attention of a girl. So many things go wrong when you're chasing too many girls for the wrong reason.  Eliminating the strong physical desire for this should help avoid many of these encounters and resulting problems.

I think your view of all girls equally, somewhat attractive is a good place to be.  What may happen is that the girl that ever hooks you in the future may do so with her character more than her body.  An emotional attraction then may lead to more physical attraction and eventual sexual desire.  And if you never meet such a charmer and go through ife being content staying single and sex free?  You'll be fine.  Like me, you'll miss the family years and many valuable relationships, but you'll replace them with other important things (my best example being the apostle Paul, who dedicated his whole single life to the gospel, influencing millions of people in the best way possible).

So, don't worry about being strange.  You're really not, and even if it were so, I'd consider it a trait that'll help keep you out of trouble and allow you to focus more on genuine relationships. Don't give up looking at the girls though; a nice smile from the right one just might make your heart putter like it should.
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