Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Loneliness and our sense of worth..some venting and a question
#1
test 
Hello everybody
My thoughts are not yet organized but I will write as it comes.
So I was wondering about our (lonely people) or my sense of worth.
Along the years I have been mostly lonely. I have many friends or the social form of which but there is not a single person on this earth whom I can tell I am lonely.
My young self yearned to be accepted in the cool group and I tried hard to fit in. We all lived next to each other, did the same things, parents similar on all accounts..but they did not accept me.
Then when I couldn't I just tried to be better.
Better in studies when the social game did not include me. Got straight A's and joined med school.

A bit older? Still no luck.
So I became better looking and 100% more elegant  .. when I was unable to be equally accepted.

The 20's and 30's when they started to get married and find their SO and do things that did not include me. No problem. I will get honours and do my masters. Still the best dressed (on a VERY tight budget..imagine that).

Still not fitting in? Learned 2 more languages. 

Finally finding a SO..although he is kind and generous. Yet he doesn't..respscet me in his heart. He feels I am not good enough. He doesn't cheat or anything. But it is always there in his eyes and in his words sometimes. 

But constantly living like you are not good enough. Not a good enough teen friend or youth girl friend or mom or wife or...doctor.
Then there is the FEAR that I will make a mistake as I am not good enough in my job. So much do that I honestly do not know if I am good or not. It terrifies me to see the same patient twice just in case I screwed up.

And so..after all this time..I still feel inadequate. Not good enough. I still try to hide it but I know the truth.

So are we lonely because we are inadequate? Or are we really inadequate and so we are lonely!

I am not really asking a question and I don't need an answer really.
But ah I just wish I won't care. 
Simon and Garfunkel sang: laugh about it shout about when you've got to choose
Every way you look at it you loose
Reply
#2
Broken heart, you get double time attention from me today because this thread addresses a different issue than your other one. While you may not ask or expect a worthwhile response, I think it does warrant one, especially since it suggests a self-worth/identity issue that many people face today.

As a Christian, you should already know your identity and self worth in life, but this linked sermon below from Rick Warren is an excellent refresher message for all of us - detailing that our purpose and value in life is determined by God, not by the acceptance or expectations from others.  It's a rather long, tedius video at 65 minutes, but several of the points may hit home with you. It might be worth your time. 

 https://youtu.be/AolN3_JldmI
Reply
#3
(10-07-2019, 05:50 AM)Sir Joseph Wrote: Broken heart, you get double time attention from me today because this thread addresses a different issue than your other one. While you may not ask or expect a worthwhile response, I think it does warrant one, especially since it suggests a self-worth/identity issue that many people face today.

As a Christian, you should already know your identity and self worth in life, but this linked sermon below from Rick Warren is an excellent refresher message for all of us - detailing that our purpose and value in life is determined by God, not by the acceptance or expectations from others.  It's a rather long, tedius video at 65 minutes, but several of the points may hit home with you. It might be worth your time. 

 https://youtu.be/AolN3_JldmI
hmmm.. cant reply to your message. Very strange.
Until you can get it fixed somehow, I thank you so much for all your replies  Smile
Reply
#4
BH,

You appear to have done very well in life without respecting yourself enough for it. Try and give yourself praise rather than criticism, I think in your heart of hearts you know that you work supremely hard and give your best. Nobody can ask more of you, there are so many people who give so little.

If you feel criticised or looked-down upon then remember it's probably without justification. Remember you're only human (as are all the other people who you seem to think are superior) and take a deep breath. You have a spine and a sense of decency, and in fact it's this sense of decency that you seem to be crucifying yourself on. Do not assume inferiority and inadequacy as a first step, you should look at yourself from the other end of the scale and work the other way.
Reply
#5
(10-08-2019, 09:47 PM)Yeti1980 Wrote: BH,

You appear to have done very well in life without respecting yourself enough for it. Try and give yourself praise rather than criticism, I think in your heart of hearts you know that you work supremely hard and give your best. Nobody can ask more of you, there are so many people who give so little.

If you feel criticised or looked-down upon then remember it's probably without justification. Remember you're only human (as are all the other people who you seem to think are superior) and take a deep breath. You have a spine and a sense of decency, and in fact it's this sense of decency that you seem to be crucifying yourself on. Do not assume inferiority and inadequacy as a first step, you should look at yourself from the other end of the scale and work the other way.
What lovely words.
You made my day.😚😚😚
I just hope I remember them when the going gets tough.
Self pity is not a very good thing
Reply
#6
(10-08-2019, 09:47 PM)Yeti1980 Wrote: BH,

You appear to have done very well in life without respecting yourself enough for it. Try and give yourself praise rather than criticism, I think in your heart of hearts you know that you work supremely hard and give your best. Nobody can ask more of you, there are so many people who give so little.

If you feel criticised or looked-down upon then remember it's probably without justification. Remember you're only human (as are all the other people who you seem to think are superior) and take a deep breath. You have a spine and a sense of decency, and in fact it's this sense of decency that you seem to be crucifying yourself on. Do not assume inferiority and inadequacy as a first step, you should look at yourself from the other end of the scale and work the other way.

+1111111

It sounds to me that you see things more clearly than your average person. You know how one should be treated, and how not to be treated. Sincerity and support.

You seem to know very well what your worth is already. Why else continue to better yourself and walk around knowing you deserve better and to be seen? You want to be seen for what you know in your bones, you are. You are ever changing and working to better yourself alongside your immense heart. I see an amazing person and I'm so very sorry you've been invisible or not treated as you should be. Sometimes we need to hear what we are from a different perspective in order to see ourselves in a different light. For some of us, that's all we need.

I sincerely hope you find what you need to keep yourself from self-pity and keep yourself from the cycle of feeling you need to immerse yourself with more milestones in order to be better accepted while your inner-self is simply longing to be seen and loved for who you truly are and the deep vastness you bring to the table. Not just achievements and materialism.

I hope someone respects you for you and your heart before the rest. And the rest, over time. As I can't help but feel like that's what's truly talking underneath all of that self-pity. As your username clearly states.

I wish you the best. And may you discover what you're looking for that makes you a better, you, sooner rather than later. Smile
Reply
#7
your words are beautiful and touched my heart. thank you
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Loneliness; outside; a girl GustavusMacer 3 259 10-18-2019, 11:10 AM
Last Post: GustavusMacer
  Inescapable loneliness SilentSoul89 35 2,745 10-08-2019, 09:38 AM
Last Post: SilentSoul89
  Strange loneliness alexandra93 11 899 09-23-2019, 02:54 AM
Last Post: Sir Joseph
  How do I hide my loneliness? advancedip 7 1,882 09-15-2019, 04:09 AM
Last Post: Diagnosed
  sense of humour duff 17 3,784 09-09-2019, 03:40 PM
Last Post: TheSkaFish
  Loneliness, no friends, no relationships. Quietude 16 3,041 08-29-2019, 08:05 AM
Last Post: Puddled Duck
  I'm terrified of the loneliness. Omnipotent Soul 17 1,738 07-23-2019, 11:52 AM
Last Post: GustavusMacer
myBB loneliness and ugliness humourless 15 1,425 07-15-2019, 07:46 AM
Last Post: humourless
  Loneliness - Simple Self Help Adrian7878 0 763 06-09-2019, 11:41 PM
Last Post: Adrian7878
  Loneliness - Cause, Effect, and Solution for a Select Group of People AlertChristians 23 2,614 04-28-2019, 08:38 PM
Last Post: TheRealCallie

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)