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Back Again
#1
So. After a long while, I am back here. 

Sometimes I have looked in over the last 2 years or so. Maybe made one or two posts here and there. But most of the time I have, well, tried not to. 

In the last 2 years I have lost 51kg (about 110lb I think that is). Am a lot more active, go out a lot more and do more things .... but always alone. The loneliness has remained. Not just remained, but I think it has increased. The other side of the sword really, being out more and around more people, just makes me feel even more isolated and invisible. I haven’t met anyone. Nobody to talk with, share anything with, go anywhere with. Have been using .. and paying for .. dating sites and apps, but still, no replies, no responses, nobody to even chat with. 

Yet another therapist ended recently. They don’t know what else they can do to help, but then, I find therapists really struggle with the whole loneliness thing anyway. None that I have been to ... and it is a very, very long list now ... ever understand that someone can be totally without friends. Even then, after months of talking and explaining it, they still think that just saying hello to someone working in a shop should be all the social contact you should be happy with. 

So. Here I am. Back here. I have looked for other places on the internet, somewhere where I might fit in, somewhere to feel I belong and am accepted ... maybe, finding someone to connect with along the way. But it hasn’t happened. Even on the internet, the lonely are invisible.
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#2
I see you ❤️
Hope you'll like it here. 
Stick around and I'm sure you'll get to know people.
How's your day going?
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
It seems therapy is just paying for the privilege of having someone talk down to you. I came across this: https://imgur.com/gallery/Dq7MhB4 The average counsellor couldn’t grasp what it’s like to go for weeks…months without a conversation.

Cangratulantions on the physical transformation. Dropping 51kg is an incredible achievement.
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#4
I hear ya. I’m lucky enough to have some friends but I can’t meet a girl for the life of me. Having friends doesn’t do much for me anyway. I feel alone in a room full of people regardless
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#5
(10-17-2019, 06:37 PM)Cucuboth Wrote: Yet another therapist ended recently. They don’t know what else they can do to help, but then, I find therapists really struggle with the whole loneliness thing anyway. None that I have been to ... and it is a very, very long list now ... ever understand that someone can be totally without friends. Even then, after months of talking and explaining it, they still think that just saying hello to someone working in a shop should be all the social contact you should be happy with. 

Therapy to me is more about triggering thoughts than finding solutions for problems. (Although that happens too, when you least expect, I believe...) Therapy helps, but it's very long term. It's also somehow a sort of exercise of speech to and with yourself, with subtle intervention from another person. It isn't much different from talking to yourself. It's much like talking to yourself, trying to figure out your own life, with someone else listening (and, in a way, sometimes intervening). Also, it helps, but who really helps you is yourself. Although you can only be helped by therapy if you do search for help of it, by doing it. And if you understand you need this sort of help. And it is different than trying to do the same on yourself, which is (or tends to be) chaotic. Therapy is for someone who understands he (or she) needs help. So it requires somewhat a humble heart, vulnerability, wish to be helped, and will to open yourself. (...)

I quite like it. I certainly need it. (In my case, for clinical reasons, back then.)
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#6
(10-18-2019, 10:43 AM)SeeTheLight Wrote: I feel alone in a room full of people regardless

That’s how I feel too.
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#7
My kid went through a million therapists before he found one that fit.  Therapy only works if you are open to it and a therapist can only give you advice, so to speak.  They can only do so much, leaving you with the hard work. 
If you feel like you are being talked down to, you definitely don't have the right therapist or you just flat out aren't open to it working. 

Congrats on the weight loss.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 
[Image: 68694043_2341967022788228_46455155003665...Ng%3D%3D.2]
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#8
Thanks everyone! 

Ardour - Can definitely relate to feeling talked down to. Some therapists have talked to me like I was a child. The last one in particular did. I think many don’t understand loneliness because they have someone in their lives. I found that none have ever understood touch deprivation, most treating it as unimportant, or changing the subject if I tried to talk about it. And I guess that is another thing I found, the feeling that you even have to pay to just talk with someone ... that didn’t help the loneliness at all. 

TheRealCallie - I was open to it, at first when I first started. But this is about the 25th or 26th therapist I have been to since I was 17, and I don’t think any have really understood loneliness, and the lack of connection and touch deprivation. They just say to think positive and everything will get better. But it doesn’t always work out like that for everyone.

MissBehave - Yesterday (Friday) was tough going, mentally. So is today really. 

SeeTheLight - That is how I feel when I go out. I am around people, sometimes hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. But there is no connection to any of them. Sometimes I don’t mind being alone, even being alone around people, but it is the total lack of connection to anyone that gets to me.
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#9
I’m sorry you are feeling down.
*hugs you*
Some days just suck. 🌸
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#10
[Image: 001.gif]
Congrats  on your weight loss!
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