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Loneliness
#1
Sad 
For a while now, I've been feeling really lonely. It started out as just sexual frustration (I have a very high libido but I'm a virgin/have never kissed anyone) but it's since evolved into a deeper, more emotional frustration.

I realised some time ago that I'm simply not cut out for a relationship and no, I'm not just saying that to seem like a "lone wolf" type or whatever; my values/desires/personality are all wildly different to most people's and it makes me unapproachable in certain situations. In friendly situations it's fine but not in romantic ones.

Even though I have a high libido, I don't view sex as important in a relationship and I would actually feel extremely uncomfortable if someone I was into romantically but not necessarily sexually, for instance, was pressuring me to do it (also I'm picky and it would take me a long time to feel physically comfortable with someone), not to mention very dejected if someone were to leave me for not having sex with them (which, unfortunately, would be most people). It makes me wonder why anyone would even want a high libido; why would you want to worry about that kind of thing? I know the thought of someone with a high libido who wants sex feeling uncomfortable about it with most people probably sounds strange but there ya go. To clarify, I'm totally fine with porn and would also approve of a sexually open relationship to benefit me and any potential future partner. Also, I don't think sex/love are mutually exclusive. What I meant is that I don't think they're mutually inclusive either.

I'm also quite fiery at times; not downright horrible but if someone crosses the line and does something that I would consider to be deserving of hatred/disowning them, I would drop them like a bad habit so I guess I can come off as a bit cold.

I'm selfish and I would never compromise any of my hobbies/passions for anyone unless I genuinely saw them as more important and I don't do things just to humour people.

I don't think that relationships should be difficult, soul-searching journeys/two people who are each other's halves; I think they should be easy and natural with no intense shouting matches/two whole people coming together out of a simple, loving desire to be together. I know that sounds idealistic to most but it sounds sensible to me.

I'm very logical and my emotions have to go through my head before I can feel them in my heart and that just leaves me wondering why I even feel this way. It doesn't make logical sense to me to be feeling this way if I don't view romance as particularly important in one's life, nor does it make sense if I'm not cut out for a relationship, but here I am.

If I could change myself I don't think I would (and even if I wanted to, I can't just rewire myself at the drop of a hat) because honestly, I don't hate myself; I just hate this situation and it feels like the world is against me. I feel like no-one really values relationships anymore or even thinks they're remotely lucky to be in one. Even though I don't show it/take it out on people, I secretly get very jealous and I wonder how people can be so lucky and seemingly not even realise it.
Also, I wish people would stop saying I'm not making enough of an effort because I have a routine that involves me getting out and making new friends (even if that isn't the main purpose of my routine) so I don't have any issues with actually meeting/communicating with people in a healthy way, but whenever I'm interested in someone he's never interested in me back and vice versa.

I know my personality isn't the best but tbh without sounding conceited I think it sounds a bit worse on paper than it is in reality because most people who meet me don't actually know about this side of me until there's a situation in which it has to come up.

Your thoughts? Or maybe you can relate to this? [Image: hug1.gif]

(Sorry for long post, btw.)
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#2
My loneliness started growing out of sexual frustration as well...
But now I have realized that it's because of a lack of meaningful social connection rather than sexual activity. 
TBH, a few minutes of porn is more than enough to satisfy my libido for a day or two; it's the fact that I have no friends irl that is getting to me...
One of my online buddies has been telling to get out and try to meet new people ; maybe she's right ? Idk...
But I think love and sex are mutually exclusive 😁
When I was younger, I used to wonder why people didn't organize massive marijuana orgies where folks just fucked whomsoever consented; but I guess society is too complicated for that ...
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#3
Aha. 
Massive marijuana orgies. 😁 made me chuckle. 😁
I can clearly separate sexual frustration vs loneliness. 
I think a lot of people value relationships but we have probably become more picky. 
I dunno. The whole society talk is a complex one. 
One thing is for sure: we all value different things, need different things. It’s all about you finding out what you want and reaching for that. Don’t bother with what other people want or how to label your needs in life. Go get it. ❤️
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#4
Weed orgies. LOL  Toungue


I think there are people that value relationships but it can be difficult to find those kind of people sadly. 
I tend to get jealous of people in relationships as well.  Sad It's so unfair.

[Image: Marijuana-en-Gif.gif]
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#5
Weeeeeeed 
Why is alcohol legal but weed isn't ? 
Makes no f***ing sense.
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#6
Government hates us all and big pharma will lose billions of dollars. Sad
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#7
(11-08-2019, 02:09 AM)ahsatan Wrote: Government hates us all and big pharma will lose billions of dollars. Sad

That may be true in America. But here, I blame religious/cultural bigotry 😤
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#8
(11-08-2019, 02:13 AM)sriguhan Wrote:
(11-08-2019, 02:09 AM)ahsatan Wrote: Government hates us all and big pharma will lose billions of dollars. Sad

That may be true in America. But here, I blame religious/cultural bigotry 😤

Where you from?
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#9
(11-08-2019, 02:16 AM)MissBehave Wrote:
(11-08-2019, 02:13 AM)sriguhan Wrote:
(11-08-2019, 02:09 AM)ahsatan Wrote: Government hates us all and big pharma will lose billions of dollars. Sad

That may be true in America. But here, I blame religious/cultural bigotry 😤

Where you from?

India , deep south
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#10
easy answer, ask yourslef if you be your own friend(hypothetically, of course) and there ya go, you probably already know this but you want people for specific reasons, almost as they are objects to collect, but you dont have the charm to get them, is like being poor with expensive taste, me too honestly, the wasy answer is say, we are narcissists, I believe is deeper than that but what do i know right
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