Hey there,
correct me if I'm wrong but aren't "truly" depressed people incapable of even getting up in the morning on time since they consider it pointless? If that definition holds true, it wouldn't apply to me since I've been a school teacher for more than five years now. Or does that simply mean that there is such a thing as "functional depression", namely the ability to still hold down a job / fool yourself into believing that not all the ships have sailed yet, so to say?
I'm a 34 year old male virgin who has successfully come up with excuses to dodge relationships due to the fact that I lived at home (during university) till age 27 and then jumped around all over the country so that I'm now part of a staff in which I obviously feel like the odd one out since nearly everybody's taken/married/married with children and I have nothing of substance to contribute, which makes even hanging out in the teacher's lounge excruciatingly uncomfortable because I'm well aware that my retreat into myself while others are sharing anecdotes is considered either arrogant or strange/socially awkward. And with the exception of "1.5" colleagues nobody's interested in discussing books/films etc. or even listening to my own story ideas (which, I acknowledge, would come off rather pretentious and self-absorbed but others are also mainly focussed on themselves by pouring out holiday or drinking stories, which I don't care about one bit - so there's that).
On the dating front, I've basically given up since women do expect experienced, confident men (as they should) and I'm mostly overlooked in everyday workplace conversations by said females who seem to be perceptive when it comes to my many insecurities. Also, relationships simply don't seem feasible because I'd either have to lie about my lack of experience and thereby doom the relationship from the get-go or be candid and get rejected instantly.
My parents (whom I still care about deeply - at least, my mother … but let's not get into that here) live around 2000 km away from me, my few friends from high school and university at least 600 km. And I feel like leaving my current workplace. But choosing a city only in accordance with reduced travel duration towards said friends is also an immature shackle I'm weighing myself down with, isn't it?
Sorry for the rambling nature of this post. Maybe it fits better under "loneliness"?
I'm not certain what I'd expect in terms of answers here. Maybe just some general input on whether I should keep trying to change anything or basically accept my fate and let time run through me and life pass me by. It's possible I'm waiting for that "House M.D." epiphany the titular character always gets out of random conversations.
correct me if I'm wrong but aren't "truly" depressed people incapable of even getting up in the morning on time since they consider it pointless? If that definition holds true, it wouldn't apply to me since I've been a school teacher for more than five years now. Or does that simply mean that there is such a thing as "functional depression", namely the ability to still hold down a job / fool yourself into believing that not all the ships have sailed yet, so to say?
I'm a 34 year old male virgin who has successfully come up with excuses to dodge relationships due to the fact that I lived at home (during university) till age 27 and then jumped around all over the country so that I'm now part of a staff in which I obviously feel like the odd one out since nearly everybody's taken/married/married with children and I have nothing of substance to contribute, which makes even hanging out in the teacher's lounge excruciatingly uncomfortable because I'm well aware that my retreat into myself while others are sharing anecdotes is considered either arrogant or strange/socially awkward. And with the exception of "1.5" colleagues nobody's interested in discussing books/films etc. or even listening to my own story ideas (which, I acknowledge, would come off rather pretentious and self-absorbed but others are also mainly focussed on themselves by pouring out holiday or drinking stories, which I don't care about one bit - so there's that).
On the dating front, I've basically given up since women do expect experienced, confident men (as they should) and I'm mostly overlooked in everyday workplace conversations by said females who seem to be perceptive when it comes to my many insecurities. Also, relationships simply don't seem feasible because I'd either have to lie about my lack of experience and thereby doom the relationship from the get-go or be candid and get rejected instantly.
My parents (whom I still care about deeply - at least, my mother … but let's not get into that here) live around 2000 km away from me, my few friends from high school and university at least 600 km. And I feel like leaving my current workplace. But choosing a city only in accordance with reduced travel duration towards said friends is also an immature shackle I'm weighing myself down with, isn't it?
Sorry for the rambling nature of this post. Maybe it fits better under "loneliness"?
I'm not certain what I'd expect in terms of answers here. Maybe just some general input on whether I should keep trying to change anything or basically accept my fate and let time run through me and life pass me by. It's possible I'm waiting for that "House M.D." epiphany the titular character always gets out of random conversations.