i've to choose between staying with my wife and baby or a high paying job abroad

Hi there ! thanks for having me in this amazing forums where one can find real serious talks and discussions .
i'd be pleased to get your opinions about the choice i've to decide . 
it could be a long story but you have to know all details, however, it might be an interesting story 

so, i'm 29 years old, an Egyptian Airline Pilot, i worked for my Country flag carrier airline since 2011,, but after 6 years of flying i started hating my job, always sleep deprived, almost no up social life, every month i work more hours than anyone i know, super hard and risky job, studying all the time with pass or fail exams every 6 months. a toxic work environment with control freaks, sever back pain and 6 herniated discs as a result of too much sitting, and the list goes on ... 
so i thought about shifting careers, sadly i don't have a degree, but my other passion was Programming, i finished 2 years of software engineering university but couldn't finish more because of my job, so i started following online courses and found a colleague who was a programmer too who helped me alot, and 18 months ago , i met an amazing Polish girl in Madrid (my current wife), i used to visit her every month in Poland, we traveled together alot, and we got married, and start of this year when i knew my wife is pregnant, i started thinking that noway they can be in a different country than me and i asked her to move but noway she can move to Egypt as she has a big business in Poland and can't leave it , also moving to Egypt would be a big downgrade for her . so i decided i will move with her, in August i resigned my job in Egyptair and moved to Poland, i thought i will convert my Pilot License to European one and work as a flight instructor in a flight school beside my freelance work as a programmer ( mobile developer ) which is really hard to find a gig in , currently i have only one gig going and finding projects is super hard . keep in mind i never saved a penny in my life, as i spent my whole life traveling in my free time and just enjoying life and never thought about the future, so when i quit my job all i had was 1500Euros ( at this moment i  have nothing ) . so to cut it a little short, converting my license and getting the flight instructor course will cost 10,000 Euros ( which i don't have any of them now, but maybe i will get them from my wife and pay her back later ) when i find a job as flight instructor my salary will be around 1,500 Euros ( so i will need long time to pay my wife back ! ) , and working as a freelancer is not guaranteed because one month you have a project and the other 3 months maybe you have nothing, and having a stable job as a programmer is not guaranteed also as i neither have big experience nor a degree.
i miss flying but not as an airline pilot, i've suffered alot with it and now i'm so relieved i have normal life ( currently unemployed, waiting for residence )

i've never in my life thought that i would be super connected to my wife and baby like this, my baby is 2 months old, and really if i go out for some time , i miss both of them so much, i'm super happy being next to my family and watching my baby grow old and giving her care and love, and helping my wife with it .
i'm so emotionally driven person , when my baby is cute and not crying im like oh my god i cannot leave u and live somewhere else, 
when she is crying super bad and we can't sleep, im like oh my god i have to work abroad :

but at the end of the day, i know it will be super hard for me to see them only couple of days every month.

well, now to the choices , 
scenario number 1 : stay here, get the European license and instructor course ( 10K - borrow from my wife - and minimum 6 months to finish ) , and after i get my residence try finding a job with programming along with trying to get projects with freelancing . 

scenario number 2 : 

- i've a chance to go back to airline flying in Egypt in a charter company, with triple my old salary and a Captain upgrade, although more messed up rosters and longer flights without layovers, but i would go there for only 2 years to save some money and come back  , with maximum 6 days per month consecutive days off . 

- same chance but even further, in Korea , half the salary of that in Egypt but guaranteed 11 consecutive days off every month.

keep in mind that i have to decide fast because i have time limit to get back to airlines, which is 1 year from my last flight ( which was in last August )

now, shall i stay here and be patient maybe it gets better by time and i find job or freelance projects, or shall i go for the guaranteed and get this job in Egypt for 2 years save money and come back  ? 

i don't have a preference but i think the job in Egypt is the right decision if we are logically and practically thinking, while the choice to stay here is the right decision if we are thinking in a more emotional and social way .
p.s. i'm Gemini so i have 2 people each one thinking in a different way and both of them are always fighting , so i cannot decide .

sorry its been long story and i think i didnt put it in a good way, but im messed up

an airline pilot nice job sorry can't help your situation. 

a family with one baby? i never experienced that, we are childless couple.

take good care the baby. 

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i prefer scenario number 2.

Hi Maaab welcome to the forum.

First off you have my sympathies , I am an older Gemini and know what your going through .

Couple of questions.Your wife's business sounds successful how will she run it when your away ,will she get help with care of the baby or can she juggle the two at the same time?Your back problems do you think they will return if you return to work as an airline pilot ?Have you asked your wife's opinion about what to do in the future?The money sounds great going back to airlines but do you think it would put a strain on your relationship being away from your wife and baby for long periods...Of course please ignore any of this if you want just thought I'd put some questions to you in the hope some of it might help.

I sort of went part time in my job in the early days of kids so that my wife could keep working which she has always enjoyed.Although it led to some bitterness about not being able to develop work as much as I could early on I've got over that now because I'm happy at my progress lately and realise it was right for both of us, my wife having the better job.

Of course your very different ,more successful than me in many ways.Hopefully some others will help soon with your dilemma

Stay with the wife and babeh

lookatbrightside said:

an airline pilot nice job sorry can't help your situation. 

a family with one baby? i never experienced that, we are childless couple.

take good care the baby. 

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i prefer scenario number 2.

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heyy thanks for your reply and suggestion really appreciate it thou .

Just Games said:

Hi Maaab welcome to the forum.

First off you have my sympathies , I am an older Gemini and know what your going through .

Couple of questions.Your wife's business sounds successful how will she run it when your away ,will she get help with care of the baby or can she juggle the two at the same time?Your back problems do you think they will return if you return to work as an airline pilot ?Have you asked your wife's opinion about what to do in the future?The money sounds great going back to airlines but do you think it would put a strain on your relationship being away from your wife and baby for long periods...Of course please ignore any of this if you want just thought I'd put some questions to you in the hope some of it might help.

I sort of went part time in my job in the early days of kids so that my wife could keep working which she has always enjoyed.Although it led to some bitterness about not being able to develop work as much as I could early on I've got over that now because I'm happy at my progress lately and realise it was right for both of us, my wife having the better job.

Of course your very different ,more successful than me in many ways.Hopefully some others will help soon with your dilemma

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for my wife and her business, its a family business of hers so anyone of her family can help her ( they already do ) ,
my back problems really never disappeared but im in a very good progress after i stopped flying,
my wife always tells me that definitely she wants me here but she doesn't want me to be sad or mad about a job, and she wants me to have the job i want with the pay i wish,
and about if my job abroad will strain the relation, i think it might strain it somehow,
and really your questions are ok , im so glad u cared to read,
and nope i'm not different, nor successful im thinking to throw a high paying career with alot of experience i have in the trash
i dunno what to do really, maybe i will try for couple of months here and if not, i will start finding a job with airlines abroad,

TropicalStarfish said:

Stay with the wife and babeh

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yaaaaa thats my emotional part talking

You need to ask yourself some questions.
Will you resent your family if you don't go?
Is the extra money really that important?
Will she resent you if you go?
Will you be gone the entire time or will you be able to come back every now and then?
Will you be able to handle missing the major milestones your baby will go through in the time you are gone?
Would your wife be okay with video chatting every day or so? That way you have time together (though on screen only) and you can catch up.

In the end, I think it really matters if either of you will resent the choice you make and just how much of your child's life you will likely miss while you are gone. The first two years of a baby's life is when they learn just about all the major stuff. Walking, talking, smiling, laughing, etc. Think about those questions hard before you decide and definitely make sure you and your wife will be okay with whatever you decide.