Isolation

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Cucuboth

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2012
Messages
387
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21
Location
Australia
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It feels like the isolation is getting worse. 
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[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Yes, I do go out and do things. Go to work. Go to gym. Go to bowling league. Go walking. I have done volunteering in the past, and done courses at university, TAFE, and at community college. 
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[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]I just don't meet people though. Don't make friends. Don't make connections. Don't have any chance for a relationship. It has always been like this, and seems to be getting worse. Even online it just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Don't "click" with anyone. Most of the time it just feels like I am intruding on conversations, and, even if I'm not, it just seems like I am invisible. i always thought the internet was supposed to bring people closer together, make it easier to connect, that there was somewhere for everyone .... [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]But not for me, I guess. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Therapy has never helped. Neither has medication. I feel like I just need help to find somewhere to belong. Help in actually meeting people. But there is nobody to ask. I think that is adding to the isolation and increasing frustration, knowing I need some help in these things, yet, having asked in the past, now knowing that there is nobody to ask ... and nobody who will. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It adds to the thoughts, the feelings, of being really, truely, alone. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]And it is scary.[/font]
 
there is one for everybody, your time not come yet.

is a privilege for us loner to have daydream or idle mind while a house wife cooks all day or a father that gave food to large family doesn't have that chance.

try keep it busy, try fill your time with what you like such as.

like me, i feel my life happy when me and my spouse are no argue, i see my spouse happy i'm happy i try to maintain that. another problem in that day is just another problem as long as we happy life is alright.
 
I'm sorry you feel that way. 
I think that you need to be the one that makes honeysuckle happen. Like when you say that you don't fit in or that you are intruding on others conversations. Be brave and make space for yourself. Be bigger, more loud, more open, more direct. Make room for yourself in that space you are in. 
I know it's harder doing that vs saying it but you should start small. 

If you need someone to talk to then hit me up with a pm.
Hope you have a sweet day 😊
 
MissBehave said:
I'm sorry you feel that way. 
I think that you need to be the one that makes honeysuckle happen. Like when you say that you don't fit in or that you are intruding on others conversations. Be brave and make space for yourself. Be bigger, more loud, more open, more direct. Make room for yourself in that space you are in. 
I know it's harder doing that vs saying it but you should start small. 

If you need someone to talk to then hit me up with a pm.
Hope you have a sweet day 😊

There is only myself. That’s the problem. Anything I do, I have to do on my own. There is nobody to do anything with, or go anywhere with. Nobody to share anything with. Nobody at work to talk with. I’ve tried volunteering, and that just didn’t help at all. I’m tired of doing things on my own. There is not even anyone to watch a movie with.
 
Most of the time it seems like you need to have a critical mass of social connections to make more of them. Sometimes though, it can just take one person taking an interest. I’ve been lucky there, a male co-worker introduced me to his friends. Otherwise it would have just been the odd person here or there to talk to (nice enough interactions that usually amount to nothing).

Is there someone in particular you get along well with, or at least better than others? Perhaps you could start there.
 
ardour said:
Most of the time it seems like you need to have a  critical mass of social connections to make more of them. Sometimes though, it can just take one person taking an interest. I’ve been lucky there, a male co-worker introduced me to his friends. Otherwise it would have just been the odd person  here or there to talk to (nice enough interactions that usually amount to nothing).

Is there someone in particular you get along well with, or at least better than others?  Perhaps you could start there.

Nope. There isn't anyone. Nobody at work to talk to, nobody anywhere I go. Trying to start conversations just get a look like I have said something very disgusting in a language they don't understand. Even online there is not really anyone to talk with.

It would be good if something like that would happen. Actually meeting people .. well, finding people to meet, is part of the problem.
 
I know where you are coming from, I too am completely alone. I do talk to people from time to time and can even have and lead a good conversation but without making any connections. As a matter of fact, I've been alone ever since I turned 15. Over a decade of loneliness so far. Its not so bad though, I've been alone for so long that it's all I know now. It's my life and part of me had gotten used to it.

So, if there is any advice I can give you from my position it will be to try keep an open and optimistic mind. Try to open yourself up to meeting new people and don't take things personally if you don't click with someone or conversations don't go well. I realize of course that doing all that is easier said than done of course. These are the values I try to lead my life with however. 

Here is another little trick that might help you make connections. People. Love. Being. Listened. To. So if you could get someone talking while showing genuine interest, you are more likely to make connections. Also, a warm smile goes a long way.😁

Take things one step at a time, start with the listening and smiling then move on to getting people talking. 

Hope this helps 👍
 
Yea keep a cat. I like that suggestion that was mentioned. Cats are pawsome!
If ur able to get a cat that would be cool. My cat helps my sadness.
 
Cucuboth said:
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It feels like the isolation is getting worse. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Yes, I do go out and do things. Go to work. Go to gym. Go to bowling league. Go walking. I have done volunteering in the past, and done courses at university, TAFE, and at community college. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]I just don't meet people though. Don't make friends. Don't make connections. Don't have any chance for a relationship. It has always been like this, and seems to be getting worse. Even online it just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Don't "click" with anyone. Most of the time it just feels like I am intruding on conversations, and, even if I'm not, it just seems like I am invisible. i always thought the internet was supposed to bring people closer together, make it easier to connect, that there was somewhere for everyone .... [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]But not for me, I guess. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Therapy has never helped. Neither has medication. I feel like I just need help to find somewhere to belong. Help in actually meeting people. But there is nobody to ask. I think that is adding to the isolation and increasing frustration, knowing I need some help in these things, yet, having asked in the past, now knowing that there is nobody to ask ... and nobody who will. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It adds to the thoughts, the feelings, of being really, truely, alone. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]And it is scary.[/font]


turtlemom said:
Cucuboth said:
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It feels like the isolation is getting worse. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Yes, I do go out and do things. Go to work. Go to gym. Go to bowling league. Go walking. I have done volunteering in the past, and done courses at university, TAFE, and at community college. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]I just don't meet people though. Don't make friends. Don't make connections. Don't have any chance for a relationship. It has always been like this, and seems to be getting worse. Even online it just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Don't "click" with anyone. Most of the time it just feels like I am intruding on conversations, and, even if I'm not, it just seems like I am invisible. i always thought the internet was supposed to bring people closer together, make it easier to connect, that there was somewhere for everyone .... [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]But not for me, I guess. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Therapy has never helped. Neither has medication. I feel like I just need help to find somewhere to belong. Help in actually meeting people. But there is nobody to ask. I think that is adding to the isolation and increasing frustration, knowing I need some help in these things, yet, having asked in the past, now knowing that there is nobody to ask ... and nobody who will. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It adds to the thoughts, the feelings, of being really, truely, alone. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]And it is scary.[/font]
Sorry about your loneliness. I understand that you can be around a lot of people and still be very lonely. I can only suggest that you keep trying. How long did you try volunteering? It always takes me a long time to connect with people. Maybe try to find someone that shares an interest that you have. That might help.
 
tumblr_n10y1oM10o1s7clxco1_400.gif
:shy:
 
ahsatan said:
Yea keep a cat. I like that suggestion that was mentioned. Cats are pawsome!
If ur able to get a cat that would be cool. My cat helps my sadness.

Have had 6 cats over the years. They never helped with the loneliness though. 

Also have had a couple of dogs, and walking them, going to puppy school, ect ect never helped in meeting people, as is often said. 

Pets don’t ease the loneliness for me.


Sunless Sky said:
I know where you are coming from, I too am completely alone. I do talk to people from time to time and can even have and lead a good conversation but without making any connections. As a matter of fact, I've been alone ever since I turned 15. Over a decade of loneliness so far. Its not so bad though, I've been alone for so long that it's all I know now. It's my life and part of me had gotten used to it.

So, if there is any advice I can give you from my position it will be to try keep an open and optimistic mind. Try to open yourself up to meeting new people and don't take things personally if you don't click with someone or conversations don't go well. I realize of course that doing all that is easier said than done of course. These are the values I try to lead my life with however. 

Here is another little trick that might help you make connections. People. Love. Being. Listened. To. So if you could get someone talking while showing genuine interest, you are more likely to make connections. Also, a warm smile goes a long way.😁

Take things one step at a time, start with the listening and smiling then move on to getting people talking. 

Hope this helps 👍

Yeah. Well, have never really had friends, and am 43 now. Don’t think I will ever get used to it. Expect it? Yeah. But will never be used to it. 

It’s even finding people who are willing to talk to me that is a problem. I can’t remember the last time I actually had a conversation with anyone face to face. Even online, it will be 2 years since I had someone to talk with. So, listening to someone is rather a moot point when there isn’t anyone talking with you to listen to.
 
turtlemom said:
Cucuboth said:
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It feels like the isolation is getting worse. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Yes, I do go out and do things. Go to work. Go to gym. Go to bowling league. Go walking. I have done volunteering in the past, and done courses at university, TAFE, and at community college. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]I just don't meet people though. Don't make friends. Don't make connections. Don't have any chance for a relationship. It has always been like this, and seems to be getting worse. Even online it just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Don't "click" with anyone. Most of the time it just feels like I am intruding on conversations, and, even if I'm not, it just seems like I am invisible. i always thought the internet was supposed to bring people closer together, make it easier to connect, that there was somewhere for everyone .... [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]But not for me, I guess. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Therapy has never helped. Neither has medication. I feel like I just need help to find somewhere to belong. Help in actually meeting people. But there is nobody to ask. I think that is adding to the isolation and increasing frustration, knowing I need some help in these things, yet, having asked in the past, now knowing that there is nobody to ask ... and nobody who will. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It adds to the thoughts, the feelings, of being really, truely, alone. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]And it is scary.[/font]


turtlemom said:
Cucuboth said:
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It feels like the isolation is getting worse. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Yes, I do go out and do things. Go to work. Go to gym. Go to bowling league. Go walking. I have done volunteering in the past, and done courses at university, TAFE, and at community college. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]I just don't meet people though. Don't make friends. Don't make connections. Don't have any chance for a relationship. It has always been like this, and seems to be getting worse. Even online it just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Don't "click" with anyone. Most of the time it just feels like I am intruding on conversations, and, even if I'm not, it just seems like I am invisible. i always thought the internet was supposed to bring people closer together, make it easier to connect, that there was somewhere for everyone .... [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]But not for me, I guess. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]Therapy has never helped. Neither has medication. I feel like I just need help to find somewhere to belong. Help in actually meeting people. But there is nobody to ask. I think that is adding to the isolation and increasing frustration, knowing I need some help in these things, yet, having asked in the past, now knowing that there is nobody to ask ... and nobody who will. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]It adds to the thoughts, the feelings, of being really, truely, alone. 
[/font]

[font=ProximaNova-Regular, Arial, sans-serif]And it is scary.[/font]
Sorry about your loneliness. I understand that you can be around a lot of people and still be very lonely. I can only suggest that you keep trying. How long did you try volunteering? It always takes me a long time to connect with people. Maybe try to find someone that shares an interest that you have. That might help.



Have tried volunteering since 1999. Longest I tried in one place was 2 years. I just find that people don’t seem to like to talk with me. Even online really. 

Have tried interest groups, things about hobbies and such. Again, even online. But they were just more dead ends.
 
i gone to marriage site and got my spouse there, i'm not lonely now. though i don't have friends but at home i got my best friend that is my spouse that can make everything possible also can bring out my potentials, my life support system, my love, my everything.

there are many scammers, be patience, in a year i got my love one.
 
lookatbrightside said:
i gone to marriage site and got my spouse there, i'm not lonely now. though i don't have friends but at home i got my best friend that is my spouse that can make everything possible also can bring out my potentials, my life support system, my love, my everything.

there are many scammers, be patience, in a year i got my love one.

If you were happy to do that, then good for you. But it is not for everyone. 

Have been using dating sites since 2000, and, just like trying to meet people in “real life”, it has not been a success at all. Not one reply. No responses except from scammers ... and even they have dried up, thankfully, but they are usually pretty quick to spot anyway. 

Patience would be OK if I was actually meeting people. But I can’t find anyone. And I know you are happy with it, but, paying someone to be with me is not my idea of love.
 
I'm sure there are people that wouldn't mind talking to you here. 😊
Just stay open and keep trying.
 
Cucuboth said:
lookatbrightside said:
i gone to marriage site and got my spouse there, i'm not lonely now. though i don't have friends but at home i got my best friend that is my spouse that can make everything possible also can bring out my potentials, my life support system, my love, my everything.

there are many scammers, be patience, in a year i got my love one.

If you were happy to do that, then good for you. But it is not for everyone. 

Have been using dating sites since 2000, and, just like trying to meet people in “real life”, it has not been a success at all. Not one reply. No responses except from scammers ... and even they have dried up, thankfully, but they are usually pretty quick to spot anyway. 

Patience would be OK if I was actually meeting people. But I can’t find anyone. And I know you are happy with it, but, paying someone to be with me is not my idea of love.

i applied the marriage site for free, and i marry my loved one without paying my spouse isn't scammer of course  :D 

we meet like normal people only with the help of internet.

alright, if anything good for you good to try, take care.
 
MissBehave said:
I'm sure there are people that wouldn't mind talking to you here. 😊
Just stay open and keep trying.

If there is, I don’t know where they are ...


lookatbrightside said:
Cucuboth said:
lookatbrightside said:
i gone to marriage site and got my spouse there, i'm not lonely now. though i don't have friends but at home i got my best friend that is my spouse that can make everything possible also can bring out my potentials, my life support system, my love, my everything.

there are many scammers, be patience, in a year i got my love one.

If you were happy to do that, then good for you. But it is not for everyone. 

Have been using dating sites since 2000, and, just like trying to meet people in “real life”, it has not been a success at all. Not one reply. No responses except from scammers ... and even they have dried up, thankfully, but they are usually pretty quick to spot anyway. 

Patience would be OK if I was actually meeting people. But I can’t find anyone. And I know you are happy with it, but, paying someone to be with me is not my idea of love.

i applied the marriage site for free, and i marry my loved one without paying my spouse isn't scammer of course  :D 

we meet like normal people only with the help of internet.

alright, if anything good for you good to try, take care.

Hmmm. I doubt it was free. Nothing like that is free. But whatever.
 

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