So **** ugly

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ITellYouHhwut

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If ever I get a true third-person look at myself, like in candid photos/videos, I just about break down, and crumble on the inside. It is positively devastating to see what I look like. I’m so goddamn ugly. Not just ugly, but weird looking. It’s impossible to describe. You just have to see me to really know.

I can’t believe people even speak to, or interact with me at all with as utterly hideous as I  am. It’s just freaking crazy. It’s beyond the scope of normal ugly. I’m on another level completely.

Most people would say, “well everyone looks at pictures or videos of themselves and hates the way they look.” No no, this is so much different. It’s just appalling how intensely ugly and botched I look.

My mouth has this weird way in which it moves, and I’ve got these gigantic teeth that stick out so egregiously. It’s horrible. My jawline is awful. I’ve got these strange-looking eye sockets and cheek structure. I was born with severe pectus excavatum, which gives me a curved back, flared ribs, pot belly, and just a weird overall shape. My hair is this thin, balding, oily, scraggly crap that looks like dirt on top of my head. Facial hair is the same. Looks like oily, scraggly, dirt on my face.

I look at virtually all other people, at they all at least have a “cohesive” look to them that at least works and looks normal. But I just have this super botched, weird look to me. I look like you cut pieces off of 20 people and just pasted them all together. 

I look at other people and they’re always photogenic. They have a normal look to them. Me, I can’t even take a picture. I have to run away from cameras.

I just happened to be browsing through pictures/videos of myself on my computer last night, and just about died looking at them. I thought, this is how people see me all the time? Holy honeysuckle! No wonder no girl has ever wanted me, and they look at me like I’m a freak.
 
I look odd too. It sux. I know how u feel. Can't really do much about it though.

I have thin hair, small eyes, large nose, bloating from insane ibs, underweight from ibs since I can't eat much, acne scars,  wide jaw, wide hips. stretch marks, flat ass, one leg is skinner than the other since I have neuropathy in my right leg and foot so I lost muscle tone from putting very little weight on it since the pain is horrible.
:(  It's difficult to deal with.

iu
:shy:
 
don't take a picture, i don't like to take a picture of video of my self.
take a video or picture of beautiful scenery, flowers, etc

this sound cliche but you know i will write this : beauty is in the inside. work on that.

when you got money, you can advice for surgery.

who cares with the girls, you might will have one, one day just be patience.
who cares what people think about your look.
when you got confidence, the work, the good character, the money.
prepare yourself in future scenario maybe you don't have one or anyone.

if so, be good to your self, love yourself do what makes you happy.

i bet you know there are so much people worse then you, look at them and feel good about your self.

don't look up people above you because is going to be painful.
 
No one is as ugly as they think they are. Trust me, I know. You need to find a way to accept yourself. Stop looking at yourself from your own perspective, it's not healthy and likely not realistic.
 
I’m ugly because I’m truly weird looking. Not weird in the normal way that people think they’re weird. I’m on a different level. Sometimes I wonder if I’m human, or some defunct species.
 
ahsatan said:
I look odd too. It sux. I know how u feel. Can't really do much about it though.

I have thin hair, small eyes, large nose, bloating from insane ibs, underweight from ibs since I can't eat much, acne scars,  wide jaw, wide hips. stretch marks, flat ass, one leg is skinner than the other since I have neuropathy in my right leg and foot so I lost muscle tone from putting very little weight on it since the pain is horrible.
:(  It's difficult to deal with.

iu
:shy:

tenor.gif
 
If ever I get a true third-person look at myself, like in candid photos/videos, I just about break down, and crumble on the inside. It is positively devastating to see what I look like. I’m so goddamn ugly. Not just ugly, but weird looking. It’s impossible to describe. You just have to see me to really know.

If you take a look around, you'll see.
Someone has got a face full of pimples.
Someone has baldness.
Someone is has that genetic fat accumulation on their thighs and chests.
Someone has an asymmetric jawline.
Someone has a resting btch face.
Someone's mouth smells bad no matter how much they take care of it.
Someone has incurable diseases.
Someone has severe seasonal allergies and just can't stop sneezing (me).
Someone is too short.
Genetic dark circles.
Genetic facial structures.
Someone has spent a decade and tens of thousands of (/insert relevant currency), but can't gain weight.
Someone has no limbs. Someone is blind, or deaf, or can't speak. 

Existence is a complex phenomenon. It is not about you, or for you. Not about me, or for me. It is neutral, indifferent.


I can’t believe people even speak to, or interact with me at all with as utterly hideous as I  am. It’s just freaking crazy. It’s beyond the scope of normal ugly. I’m on another level completely.
 

Been there. But they do. THEY SPEAK TO YOU..... Not worse than me. But why don't you appreciate the fact, and see that you are being the reason of your misery. 


I just happened to be browsing through pictures/videos of myself on my computer last night, and just about died looking at them. I thought, this is how people see me all the time?

For most people, it is a burden to care about your looks as much as you do. Because they have their own miseries and desires to sort out. AND DEATH IS COMING!!


 Holy honeysuckle! No wonder no girl has ever wanted me, and they look at me like I’m a freak. 

Ah! Girl problem.

Fundamental: Women can't love men the way men love women. Biology, you know. 
Man is naturally the provider. Not only in terms of social stuff. But also instinctively. 
Women can only love you for what you can offer them, not for who you are. (And its not really a bad/good thing). It is nature. 
And the word love here is not the spiritual term. But the attraction. 

Now you'll say, oh! that means looks. 
No. 
Try to understand this:
Firstly, we are not unicellular organisms. 
Second, we have something called the intellect. The ability to discriminate consciously. Which has enabled us to take different routes in life.
Our life is not limited to eat, fresia and die. There is more.

But the instinct is still there. 

Both of them will act together. Our instincts evolve in a way that they still follow the fundamental tendency to exist, thus survive. But also adapt to the things intellect has gifted us.

Which basically means, there's no right set of statements, that will decide whether someone is worth being a partner or not. Multiple factors being there, the answer is an amalgamation of all those factors.

Women, CAN'T spend their life with a man, only for his looks. Nor for his money. Nor for his social status. 


If tomorrow you became attractive (as per your definition), you won't be fulfilled as you think you would be. Because insecurity will still be there. 

If a woman says that she wants to be with you because you look attractive. Then that is stupid. Because then there will be other men, who look more attractive than you. Maybe your best friend. And then you will introduce your new partner to your best friend. Then you: 🔥 😞

If a woman says that she wants to be with you because you have a lot of money. Again, same problem. 
What makes it worse is that we are polygamous animals. 

Complicated, isn't it? 

They say that we can't understand female nature. I think the entire female nature can be described in a word: Hypergamy. Since nature chose male to be the disposable one, because lack of women would mean a threat to the sustainability of life, the female became instinctively dependent on male for survival. Thus, lioness would choose the strongest lion in the pack and so on...

Women will instinctively tend to find male partners with higher of [what they want], than they themselves have. 
For animals, it would be strength and resources. But we have that intellect, remember? And it has made us take different routes in life?
So women will tend to seek partners that have more of what they want, than they themselves have. 


You look good, you have better chances. Because.... (needs longer explanation)
You have plenty of resources, you have even better chances. That would include, money, social status, etc.
After all these factors, a summation is carried out in their brains, unconsciously. And that decides. 
Stage one: complete.

Then comes the more important things. Remember those articles you used to search about 'alpha men' ? 
Yeah that. But not in that sense.

How do you utilize, what you have? 
That decides your competence. You have a pretty face. But you don't maintain it. You still look like you never wash your face. You don't brush your teeth properly. Your hair stink.

Rule: You can't even maintain what you have, how will you maintain her ? Score went down.
Her instinct: "There is higher possibility that you will run out of resources or won't utilize them as needed."
Her subconscious: Let's give him a -5.

And I could write a book about it.... there's so much.
_____________________________________________________
But conclusion:

> You are in misery with what you have and is a part of you. how will you keep her happy, when she is just a stranger, another body? That's why she doesn't want you.
> Do you want to be with a woman, who looks attractive, but is always annoying, angry, rude and arrogant? No. Why? Because that unconscious math, remember?
> Do you want to be with a woman, who looks pretty attractive, but is a fraud and can do anything for money? ....
And so on... think about it..

What comes ultimately is your well being. Which is the only thing in your control. Leave the rest to existence. IF you maintain your physiological and psychological system well, because that's the only thing you can do, as a living organism, there's nothing else to worry about. Will it get you a partner? No. But when you have become a person who focuses on their well being, it doesn't matter. It is petty, it is irrelevant.
 
ITellYouHhwut said:
If ever I get a true third-person look at myself, like in candid photos/videos, I just about break down, and crumble on the inside. It is positively devastating to see what I look like. I’m so goddamn ugly. Not just ugly, but weird looking. It’s impossible to describe. You just have to see me to really know.

I can’t believe people even speak to, or interact with me at all with as utterly hideous as I  am. It’s just freaking crazy. It’s beyond the scope of normal ugly. I’m on another level completely.

Most people would say, “well everyone looks at pictures or videos of themselves and hates the way they look.” No no, this is so much different. It’s just appalling how intensely ugly and botched I look.

My mouth has this weird way in which it moves, and I’ve got these gigantic teeth that stick out so egregiously. It’s horrible. My jawline is awful. I’ve got these strange-looking eye sockets and cheek structure. I was born with severe pectus excavatum, which gives me a curved back, flared ribs, pot belly, and just a weird overall shape. My hair is this thin, balding, oily, scraggly crap that looks like dirt on top of my head. Facial hair is the same. Looks like oily, scraggly, dirt on my face.

I look at virtually all other people, at they all at least have a “cohesive” look to them that at least works and looks normal. But I just have this super botched, weird look to me. I look like you cut pieces off of 20 people and just pasted them all together. 

I look at other people and they’re always photogenic. They have a normal look to them. Me, I can’t even take a picture. I have to run away from cameras.

I just happened to be browsing through pictures/videos of myself on my computer last night, and just about died looking at them. I thought, this is how people see me all the time? Holy honeysuckle! No wonder no girl has ever wanted me, and they look at me like I’m a freak.

At least people talk with you. I can’t even get that.
 
Yes, that sucks! I look weird too. I think I have fragile x syndrome because of my facial features and stuff. I have to agree somewhat with M_also_lonely about what women want. And add to that, women want someone who cares strongly about improving the world, helping people/children/animals, or making a positive difference and doesn't get too stuck on surface things. It's hard though. I definitely like to think of myself as making a positive difference but sometimes thinking about my looks sends me into medium depression for a day or two.

Edit*: I'm not saying you're getting stuck on surface things. Your reaction sounds kind of like how I react to pictures of myself.
 
At least people talk with you. I can’t even get that?
It’s possible you’re giving out an unconscious signal of not wanting others to look at you which they interpret as ‘Don’t talk to me’.
 

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