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Invisible
#1
I don't think I am, or have ever been, someone that people see in any romantic or sexual way. If I am seen, I guess I am seen as the "awkward ugly quiet guy". Or as the "moody ugly loner". Something like that. Not someone that is seen, or considered, in any sexual or romantic way. I think that is kind of why the dating sites and apps never work, why I can't even find anyone to chat with on any of them. Really, all they know is what they see on the profile ... which I posted here before ... and photos. So I guess they see the photos, and ... well ... don't see me. 

But it is the same anywhere I go. I don't have to say anything, I can look as friendly as I can, but I am just not seen as someone anyone wants to know. I know people will say it is about the "energy" you put out, but yeah, I am not a big believer in all that stuff, I don't think you can really know what someone is like unless you get to know them. And even then, do we really want everyone we know to be the same? Maybe that is just me though, I don't know. 

I know sometimes people say that someone might have a daughter, or a grand-daughter, or a niece, or a friend that they would introduce me to ... but yeah, that has never happened. Never even been hinted at it ever happening, or suggested that someone would. It just doesn't happen, even if there is that daughter or friend or whatever.

I'm just invisible in that way.
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#2
Or...could be the things you mentioned above, excluding the ugly remarks. If that's how you think people perceive you then that is probably how they do. You are putting out negative energy/feelings and even if people say they should introduce you to someone they probably still get the same vibes off you and think, okay maybe not, and just leave it as trying to be polite and supportive. If you are filled with so much negativity about yourself you put that out there, even those who say or think they don't, they still do.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

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#3
(11-25-2019, 10:38 PM)Sci-Fi Wrote: Or...could be the things you mentioned above, excluding the ugly remarks.  If that's how you think people perceive you then that is probably how they do.  You are putting out negative energy/feelings and even if people say they should introduce you to someone they probably still get the same vibes off you and think, okay maybe not, and just leave it as trying to be polite and supportive.  If you are filled with so much negativity about yourself you put that out there, even  those who say or think they don't, they still do.

Not a believer in the whole "energy" stuff. Think it is just a convenient excuse people use to excuse treating people poorly.
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#4
I don’t think Sci-Fi is talking about some hocus pocus crystal stuff. Just guessing 😋
We all send out energy constantly and that’s readable by others. That’s how you can tell if someone is being passive aggressive, mad, confused, shy, all other feelings and states of mind. 
Yes there will always be those that are assholes nonetheless if you behave “perfectly” but I think some stuff can be change by what energy you send out. 
Maybe you’ll even find yourself in a more positive mood as well. Works for me at least. 🥳
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#5
I sympathise with your position as I've had phases in the past of feeling the same way, particularly in my teenage years. The most important thing here is not to assume the negative, a big part of life and of relationships is confidence and positivity. It's a tricky thing to obtain, it certainly isn't sold in the shops.

You sound as though you very much look down on yourself and view yourself with a whole bunch of self-questioning and doubt. Try the best you possibly can to do away with that kind of thinking. Try and replace it with "Hey I'm here, it's a new day, let's see what I can do today". I know it probably sounds very irritatingly light and positive, but part of the test of life is to stay positive through adversity and to build yourself in the face of it. Easy advice to give, less easy to follow, but it really is true.

My bottom line would be to say that you are human, you're valuable, you probably contribute far more than you give yourself credit for and that you have a place in life that isn't the groove you feel like you're in right now.
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#6
(11-25-2019, 11:24 PM)Cucuboth Wrote:
(11-25-2019, 10:38 PM)Sci-Fi Wrote: Or...could be the things you mentioned above, excluding the ugly remarks.  If that's how you think people perceive you then that is probably how they do.  You are putting out negative energy/feelings and even if people say they should introduce you to someone they probably still get the same vibes off you and think, okay maybe not, and just leave it as trying to be polite and supportive.  If you are filled with so much negativity about yourself you put that out there, even  those who say or think they don't, they still do.

Not a believer in the whole "energy" stuff. Think it is just a convenient excuse people use to excuse treating people poorly.

No-one can judge fairly based on superficial impressions, and I'm not surprised Sci-Fi would hold that view.

But expression or body language can send a message whether it's fair to judge someone on that or not. I'm  not good at this either. I went to your blog a while back and saw a video you had uploaded. You have a very high pitched, slightly effeminate voice, possibly something you can't change, but also a very sad,  blank, mournful kind of stare. I imagine that puts people off.  Sometimes you've just got to smile and put on a mask.

This all sounds very condescending but I've found people treated me differently when I've made conscious effort to do these things. Of course doing it  consistently appearing over the long-term is the difficult part. And as a straight while male you can't rely on the kind of community other groups have by default.
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#7
(11-26-2019, 07:47 AM)Yeti1980 Wrote: I sympathise with your position as I've had phases in the past of feeling the same way, particularly in my teenage years. The most important thing here is not to assume the negative, a big part of life and of relationships is confidence and positivity. It's a tricky thing to obtain, it certainly isn't sold in the shops.

You sound as though you very much look down on yourself and view yourself with a whole bunch of self-questioning and doubt. Try the best you possibly can to do away with that kind of thinking. Try and replace it with "Hey I'm here, it's a new day, let's see what I can do today". I know it probably sounds very irritatingly light and positive, but part of the test of life is to stay positive through adversity and to build yourself in the face of it. Easy advice to give, less easy to follow, but it really is true.

My bottom line would be to say that you are human, you're valuable, you probably contribute far more than you give yourself credit for and that you have a place in life that isn't the groove you feel like you're in right now.

The difficult thing is when you do it for a month. And then a year. And then 2 years. 5 years. A decade. 2 decades. And so on and so forth. Have to say it doesn’t help so much if nobody notices. You still end up walking down the path alone yet again. I’ve got to the point where I will be positive when I feel there is a reason to be. That’s just who I am.
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