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new here
#1
Hi,

I am new here and glad I found this site.  Some background - I have been divorced for several years, and have 2 teenage sons (one is now in college).  I haven't dated at all since my divorce and don't really have any friends or close family either.  I spend most of my time alone.  Now that my youngest son is in high school, of course, they have their own social lives- and that is how it should be.

The loneliness has gotten much worse lately.  I am so afraid of growing old by myself.  I would just like one close relationship in my life, just one person to talk to, and I have not had that for a long time.

I am unattractive.  I have come to accept this, but I am not the type of person who will meet someone out in public. Between this and my shyness, I basically have become a recluse except when I have to go to work or take my kids somewhere.  I get very uncomfortable in public, because of how i look and I feel like people stare at me.  It is really painful and I don't even have one friend or close person to share my feelings with.  I keep going because I am a mother, but I have gotten to the point that I am just really depressed. 

  I wish there was somebody out there who could look past what they see at first and be willing to get to know me, but that may not happen.
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#2
hi welcome to this forum, i hope you found someone, friends here.
must be me right?  Cool

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#3
Welcome! ❤️
There are some nice ones here to talk to. 
Hope you find what you are looking for.
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#4
Welcome to the forums Smile
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#5
[Image: welcome-glitter-cat-graphic.gif]
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#6
(11-28-2019, 12:00 AM)Lonelymom04 Wrote: Hi,

I am new here and glad I found this site.  Some background - I have been divorced for several years, and have 2 teenage sons (one is now in college).  I haven't dated at all since my divorce and don't really have any friends or close family either.  I spend most of my time alone.  Now that my youngest son is in high school, of course, they have their own social lives- and that is how it should be.

The loneliness has gotten much worse lately.  I am so afraid of growing old by myself.  I would just like one close relationship in my life, just one person to talk to, and I have not had that for a long time.

I am unattractive.  I have come to accept this, but I am not the type of person who will meet someone out in public. Between this and my shyness, I basically have become a recluse except when I have to go to work or take my kids somewhere.  I get very uncomfortable in public, because of how i look and I feel like people stare at me.  It is really painful and I don't even have one friend or close person to share my feelings with.  I keep going because I am a mother, but I have gotten to the point that I am just really depressed. 

  I wish there was somebody out there who could look past what they see at first and be willing to get to know me, but that may not happen.

What do you like, lonely mom?

It must be hard for a parent, a mother, to see their children go, and have to remind of (or find out) who themselves are. That's the case with you, I guess. You still live for them. You must learn to live for yourself (or at least with yourself) from now on... And it begins with your likes, your taste, your place, your will, your.. well, you. I'm alone too, and not attractive. (I'm a guy.) And I know I'll probably not ever find someone, and that I'll be alone to the end, all right. But I have a lot to do in my lonely life. Not that I like so much this life, but that's the one I have, and I really manage to do something with the very little I have...

So, do you like movies? Books? What sort of stories? Do you enjoy art? Philosophy? Do you believe in a god? Who are you? If you don't know, it's time to start to find out, and if you don't even know what these things mean, and that they are what matter in life (I think), it's time to begin taste them... Humanity is very loveable. If you're in Europe, there's plenty of history at your reach. If you are in the States of America, there's a lot of things to see and look for either. Australia? Wherever!

And hopefully this forum will help you with ideas. You may count on me, at least...

Cheers from distant South America.
Gus
Hello. I'm Gustavo. (If you call me Gus, it's all right too.)
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#7
Hi!
I wish you to find someone special in your life, someone who makes you feel better.
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#8
I am also an empty nester. Widowed for almost 9 years...I was able to keep really busy until the last year..it has been at times happy, calm and peaceful and at times excruciating being alone for weeks at a time...I hope you find some people to talk to here ...and something works out for you...
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#9
Lonelymom04, you say "I wish there was somebody out there who could look past what they see at first and be willing to get to know me," yet you yourself don't respond to any of the others above that show you interest.  I understand the hinderence myself that shyness can cause in limiting social contact and potential relationships, but we all must force ourselves to engage with others when the opportunity arises.

While being physically unattractive in life can hinder one's confidence or success in finding a mate, I don't think it applies the same to establishing friendships. In other words, many of us single folks may in fact endure an entire life of loneliness without finding a loving mate, but that needn't equate to an anti-social life without other enjoyable, worthwhile relationships.  And, I've learned from my own life's experiences that having good friends and even casual social relationships helps compensate for the lack of a mate or caring family.

There are numerous places and ways to get out and meet people as you know, but I'll maintain that the small groups found within a good Christian church remains one of the easiest and best methods.  It is here, unlike many clubs and organizations, that strangers are more likely to be welcomed and accepted regardless of looks, money, or social status.  It's hard I know to make the initial visit and required follow-ups, but with repeated attendance, you're likely to find others that show interest in you, thus opening the doors for friendships.  It won't hurt either having the gospel message exposure to help you manage your single life and relationship status.

While a loving mate may make our temporary lives here on earth more pleasant, consider that it's the relationships we build here with saved believers that matter most.  These are the one's we'll see in heaven.   Your assertive efforts now will be rewarded later for eternity.
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