Feeling down during Christmas?

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MissBehave

Cry Baby
Joined
May 24, 2019
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I'm very dual to this whole Christmas celebration.
One part loves it all! 
Drinking hot cocoa, decorating, having a Christmas tree, buying gifts and wrapping it. 
Usually I go all out with the bird feeding too since it's so nice to look at them and it's hard to survive here with all that snow & cold. 
Then it's the part that feel..... alone. 
Past, present and future can take it's toll on this holliday too. 
Not being where I want in life, my family pretty much suck so that has always been a big hole in me and my problems/issues feel more painful. 
Maybe it's the closing of the year as well that gets me a little down as well. 

Do anyone else feel this too? 

Anyways. 
I hope all here have a wonderful Christmas 🎄
 
I used to LOVE Christmas. Up until about 10 years ago when Christmas was "ruined." It's better now, but every once in a while I'll get a pang of sadness. Thankfully, it's fleeting and passes quickly.
 
Christmas is depressing. Just another shitty day. I don't really do anything for Christmas. Not much to celebrate.

I love how u feed the birdies! I get some blue jays and sparrows sometimes . They love peanuts.
 
There is something special about birds. 
Always loves them. 🤗
Do you guys decorate Natasha?

Callie, why was Christmas ruined for you? 
Hope you have a nice celebration this year. 🎄
 
Ohh. 
I'm sorry to hear that Callie. 
That had to put a damper on it. 
Hmm. Good riddance or? 🤔
 
I used to decorate and then I got more sick so I was like fresia it.

grumpy_cat_merry_christmas_bah_humbug_poster-r472018f92f73472e9ac1c156f8df25c8_wv4_8byvr_512.jpg
:shy:
 
MissBehave said:
Ohh. 
I'm sorry to hear that Callie. 
That had to put a damper on it. 
Hmm. Good riddance or? 🤔
 
He left ten years ago.  Definitely good riddance. 
For several years, I put in minimal effort and only because of the kids.  The tree would go up the day before Christmas and get taken down on Christmas. 
It's better now. I actually like Christmas again, but sometimes a stray thought will pop in my head.  Not about him, though, just how I used to LOVE Christmas.
 
Something changed it and it won't be the same again.
For me it's a change over the course of years.
I wonder if anyone is capable of keeping that same wonderful and childish feeling Christmas used to have for ever.
 
Life and people change as years go by that's a given, pair that in with unexpected calamities and you're bound to have a recipe for disaster.

Only breakthrough I personally see is creating new positive memories relative to Christmas so it remains relevant. That happened automatically when we were young (for those of us who didn't have messed up lives) cause in general we didn't need to work on creating new experiences like you have to do as an adult on your own.
 
Holidays bring on drastically different emotions for many of us. The joy of the season, sharing of gifts, seeing family/friends, etc. Then there's those who have left our lives and we have to learn how to keep going without them. I, too, do the mood swing thing. I told my husband I really wanted to put the tree up this year and he was glad to hear it. For several years it was a struggle to put it up. I would hit the "why bother" pit and not want to even try to enjoy it. Too many "losses" in my life to really want to celebrate. Some years it's just a shallow pothole, others it's almost an abyss. We still have 1 child at home so I force myself to do for him. And each year, it gets a little easier to rekindle the joyous spirit. Consider some self-care during the holidays, and when the anxiety starts up, maybe stay home from some of the parties and festivities. Enjoy a little "me time" doing what helps you feel more at ease. Prayers for peace and calm through the holidays.
 
While I was serving in the Military holidays were always hard for me. I didnt have the money to fly from California to Ohio and my family didnt have the money to fly to me. So I spent a good portion of them alone. So I isolated myself trying to not let it bother me. Through the years I have came home only to feel more distant. More disconnected.
 
Great topic and many varied, interesting answers.  Let me add a different perspective.

Though my childhood Christmases were filled with excitement, toys, and traditions, there was no love to be found and certainly no religious occasion to be celebrated by my Atheist parents.  As an adult, this environment was replaced by a single life away from family and friends, causing me to spend Christmas alone for most of my life.  It could be an intolerable season of loneliness, but I've countered with my Christian faith and practices.

I think enduring, managing, or even enjoying a lonely holiday season requires the same solution as other deficiencies and problems in life.  We need to focus on God and others rather than ourselves.  I do this by reaching out to every relationship I have in the world with letters and calls. This gives me some pleasure and satisfaction, along with a couple of weeks of heightened social interaction that's fun and interesting.  I've replaced all of the materialistic and pagan traditions (which I too used to enjoy) with a few personal, religious ones that now make the occasion quite special and meaningful for me.

I understand that Christmas has become a secular holiday all around the world, meaning that Jesus isn't the reason for the season anymore for so many.  But, I'd maintain that it's the best reason for the season.  If you're not recognizing and celebrating the birth of the most famous, important religious figure in world history, then you really are missing something.  When one appreciates the true significance of this occasion and celebrates it personally with God, the past wrongs, disappointments, or deprivations become irrelevant.  Most of us have a lot of blessings to be thankful for, and we all have the option to accept the love and grace that's on display this time of year as our incarnate Lord and Savior.  The peace and joy one gets from that is definitely worth celebrating - even if you are alone.
 
 
I used to put a Christmas tree up, decorate me. Just for me. For a few years I even decorated the house, put tinsel over things. Lights outside.

But it started to get harder and harder to do. Nobody else say the tree or the decorations. There were no presents under the tree. Think positive and happy thoughts was like trying to have Christmas with the ghost of someone that has never existed.

Christmas when I was a child was always about being reminded how much I wasn’t wanted. A lesson in being forgotten, and having to just shut up and accept it. Christmas as an adult is the same ....

I want to enjoy Christmas. For once, I would love to look forward to it.

But not alone.
 
Christmas has become a lonely time. It used to be the best time of the year to me and I couldn't wait for it to come. But since family members have passed it's become a chore. Everyone who used to make it seem so special in my family is gone. This time of the year just reminds me of what's been lost. I put on a smile but inside I just can't wait until it's over. Tried creating memories of my own but it seems impossible. Anyone else feel this way?
 
Anne3 said:
Christmas has become a lonely time.  It used to be the best time of the year to me and I couldn't wait for it to come.  But since family members have passed it's become a chore.  Everyone who used to make it seem so special in my family is gone.  This time of the year just reminds me of what's been lost.  I put on a smile but inside I just can't wait until it's over.  Tried creating memories of my own but it seems impossible.  Anyone else feel this way?

I feel the same way. I still have family members around but I live far from them and I am alone where I am so I really don't create any new memories. I just wait for the day to be done and be thankful for it.
 
BeyondShy said:
Anne3 said:
Christmas has become a lonely time.  It used to be the best time of the year to me and I couldn't wait for it to come.  But since family members have passed it's become a chore.  Everyone who used to make it seem so special in my family is gone.  This time of the year just reminds me of what's been lost.  I put on a smile but inside I just can't wait until it's over.  Tried creating memories of my own but it seems impossible.  Anyone else feel this way?

I feel the same way. I still have family members around but I live far from them and I am alone where I am so I really don't create any new memories. I just wait for the day to be done and be thankful for it.

I know just how you feel.  I'm sitting here thinking good it's late and the day's almost over.  Everywhere you look at this time of year your reminded about how lonely it can be and how much everything has changed.  It was nice to get a reply - thank you.
 
Anne3 said:
I know just how you feel.  I'm sitting here thinking good it's late and the day's almost over.  Everywhere you look at this time of year your reminded about how lonely it can be and how much everything has changed.  It was nice to get a reply - thank you.

I still have a way to go to get this day done. And you don't have to thank me for a reply.
 
Sir Joseph said:
Great topic and many varied, interesting answers.  Let me add a different perspective.

Though my childhood Christmases were filled with excitement, toys, and traditions, there was no love to be found and certainly no religious occasion to be celebrated by my Atheist parents.  As an adult, this environment was replaced by a single life away from family and friends, causing me to spend Christmas alone for most of my life.  It could be an intolerable season of loneliness, but I've countered with my Christian faith and practices.

I think enduring, managing, or even enjoying a lonely holiday season requires the same solution as other deficiencies and problems in life.  We need to focus on God and others rather than ourselves.  I do this by reaching out to every relationship I have in the world with letters and calls. This gives me some pleasure and satisfaction, along with a couple of weeks of heightened social interaction that's fun and interesting.  I've replaced all of the materialistic and pagan traditions (which I too used to enjoy) with a few personal, religious ones that now make the occasion quite special and meaningful for me.

I understand that Christmas has become a secular holiday all around the world, meaning that Jesus isn't the reason for the season anymore for so many.  But, I'd maintain that it's the best reason for the season.  If you're not recognizing and celebrating the birth of the most famous, important religious figure in world history, then you really are missing something.  When one appreciates the true significance of this occasion and celebrates it personally with God, the past wrongs, disappointments, or deprivations become irrelevant.  Most of us have a lot of blessings to be thankful for, and we all have the option to accept the love and grace that's on display this time of year as our incarnate Lord and Savior.  The peace and joy one gets from that is definitely worth celebrating - even if you are alone.
 

As you probably now know, X-mas was the secular Saturnalia they tried to make it "Holy" with the invention that the Lord Jesus was bien THESE cold days and NOT when Jews picked the "FRUIT" used to bake their bread.

After years learning, I stopped partaking on the things they celebraré and, of course, my most loved ppl passed away, along with their religious culture.

I don't mind being alone these days! If God gave me a reason I believed a wrong thing I'll be upset.
 
MissBehave said:
I'm very dual to this whole Christmas celebration.
One part loves it all! 
Drinking hot cocoa, decorating, having a Christmas tree, buying gifts and wrapping it. 
Usually I go all out with the bird feeding too since it's so nice to look at them and it's hard to survive here with all that snow & cold. 
Then it's the part that feel..... alone. 
Past, present and future can take it's toll on this holliday too. 
Not being where I want in life, my family pretty much suck so that has always been a big hole in me and my problems/issues feel more painful. 
Maybe it's the closing of the year as well that gets me a little down as well. 

Do anyone else feel this too? 

Anyways. 
I hope all here have a wonderful Christmas 🎄

Used to be my favorite holiday, and made me feel all the good stuff inside. After several Xmas's spent alone, I just let it go by like any other day.. This last Xmas, no one even sent me a message on facebook to wish me a merry Xmas.. It's now the most depressing time of the year for me. Bad enough having to deal with winter..
 

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