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Actually alone forever
#1
Is it weird to think that no one would ever want to be with you?

I have thought about this subject a great deal and legitimately feel as though no one would ever want to be with me.

I have never been in a proper relationship and also have zero friends, literally. I'm a positive person who generally gets on with people and have a ton of interests and a decent career. Despite that though, I am a loner. I wasn't always, it was initially by choice, but also out of unfortunate circumstance. I should note not due to anything bad, nothing bad socially, arguments or anything anti-social or spreading negative vibes or anything of the sort.

For some reason, I simply can not envision a world where a woman consciously makes the decision that she would want to be by my side. Literally as if I am destined to be a lone wolf. When this subject occasionally pops into my head, I get butterflies in my stomach, which is an odd reaction. I have thought that perhaps this is actually due to the fear of my fear, that this may actually be my reality.

I don't want to be alone forever, but for some, perhaps they always will be... forever.
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#2
Wow, i can actually relate a lot to what you are saying as i am in a similar boat.

Alone, initially by choice as well. I can also be charming and funny and have a generally positive vibe.

My problem is that i simply dont put myself out there enough to meet anyone as i tend to avoidant.

Do you struggle with a similar issue? Where does your predication of being alone forever come from do you think?
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#3
you seem like a kind a person and smart like most loner is. may i know how old are you?
must be me right?  Cool

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#4
People in your situation probably aren't as socially well adjusted as they like to think. A lifetime alone does that. Missing out as as young person (by choice or not) means you probably didn't develop the social skills and experience to connect and fit in. You know beyond that superficial getting along with people level.

Most people would agree that past university forming friendships gets difficult. There's few avenues for it, or you're tagging along with someone and their friends (often old school friends) and obviously never going to be part of the group.

I'm sort of in a similar situation. Can't imagine a woman wanting any part of this life. Not having a close circle of friends is the ultimate red flag. I've been going to a number of different meetups but it's usually a revolving door of new people each tiome, often backpackers or people on short-term study or work visas trying to see the country or looking for company for less pathetic reasons than myself (traveling alone).

It's important to get out and try to do things regardless, but often you're left feeling like you already missed out on too much.
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#5
Yep. Although I never chose to be alone. It was thrust upon me, by various circumstances. So, like Ardour mentions, I don’t think I ever got to develop the social skills and experience that most people do. Definitely find the superficial interactions, the “small talk”, to be tedious and lead nowhere. When I get to do that, which is rare enough as it is.

I have heard many, many times over the years the phrase that you “have to have friends to make friends”. And the years have shown that it seems to be right. I always thought that it was supposed to be easier to make friends online. It removes some aspects that social anxiety makes difficult sometimes, like eye contact, and that you were supposed to be able to find groups about any interest or hobby. But, some 24 years after starting to use the internet, I have never found it easier online. Yeah, found groups about interests and hobbies, but, none that ever go beyond that superficial level of contact, no matter how long I continue to use them. Even here, on LLF.

Yeah. I think people do see the whole no friends as a major red flag. Unfortunately, popularity is a thing. Even with those who claim that it isn’t important to them. It is. To be seen to popular, that you accepted by someone, seems to be important.

I know I can be a good friend. A great friend. A great boyfriend. All of that stuff. But, knowing it myself is one thing. Finding someone to show that to, who wants to see any of that. Well. That is something I am still looking for.
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#6
I have been lonely for years now ☹️
My only friends are the ones I have made online ...
I feel I'm unfit for social life..
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#7
(12-28-2019, 03:21 AM)Sunless Sky Wrote: Wow, i can actually relate a lot to what you are saying as i am in a similar boat.

Alone, initially by choice as well. I can also be charming and funny and have a generally positive vibe.

My problem is that i simply dont put myself out there enough to meet anyone as i tend to avoidant.

Do you struggle with a similar issue? Where does your predication of being alone forever come from do you think?

Yeah I am the same. I get on with people, but I also don't put myself out there.

Mine comes from having bad anxiety and depression issues in the past.
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#8
(12-27-2019, 10:59 PM)Quietude Wrote: Is it weird to think that no one would ever want to be with you?

I have thought about this subject a great deal and legitimately feel as though no one would ever want to be with me.

I have never been in a proper relationship and also have zero friends, literally. I'm a positive person who generally gets on with people and have a ton of interests and a decent career. Despite that though, I am a loner. I wasn't always, it was initially by choice, but also out of unfortunate circumstance. I should note not due to anything bad, nothing bad socially, arguments or anything anti-social or spreading negative vibes or anything of the sort.

For some reason, I simply can not envision a world where a woman consciously makes the decision that she would want to be by my side. Literally as if I am destined to be a lone wolf. When this subject occasionally pops into my head, I get butterflies in my stomach, which is an odd reaction. I have thought that perhaps this is actually due to the fear of my fear, that this may actually be my reality.

I don't want to be alone forever, but for some, perhaps they always will be... forever.

"I simply can not envision a world where a woman consciously makes the decision that she would want to be by my side": Well, I personally believe it's up to us to make a world like that, to improve ourselves and gain something, so you can share it to someone. 

If you need advice, don't hesitate in sending DM. Hope you have a nice day! Smile
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#9
I really do believe I'm one of those people who'll always be alone forever, and I guess after decades of solitude, I'm used to it.
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#10
Being perma-single is just one of those things that some of us are stuck being.
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