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A Poisonous Concoction of Shyness and Social Anxiety
#1
Ah, how I love ominous thread titles! 

I've been lurking these forums for awhile, so starting this type of thread is a first for me. New year, new me, huh?

Like many other users on this site, I have social anxiety. On top of that, I’ve always had an extremely timid disposition, which has further prevented me from seeking out friends (and from posting on internet forums, apparently). It was easier to deal with when I was younger since people usually approached me first, but in hindsight, I learned nothing about the importance of initiative. And these days, even when I am granted the opportunity to make friends, such interactions are always rendered fruitless by my inability to actively participate in conversation and deal with my anxiety. I know a certain extent of my problems are the result of my inherent shyness, but I can't help but wonder how much it truly affects my sociability in comparison to my social anxiety disorder.

I could go on and on about this, but I am in dire need of someone else’s perspective on the matter. I don't have any specific questions, but I'd like to dedicate this thread to those who have also struggled with social anxiety and shyness, whether it's your thoughts, experiences, or advice - anything helps! Perhaps you disagree with my distinction between shyness and SAD? I'm sure there's no right answer to any question I ask, so simply hearing back from the community will be useful enough.
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#2
Heia. 
Good on you for reaching out! 😸
It's great that you decided to jump into it. 
I don't have social anxiety but I have the "general" one so I know the feeling. 
If you ever need someone to talk to then hit me up. 💗
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
i'm alone by design which is great so i don't have to deal with toxic people on daily basis i spend my worth time only with good kindhearted people.

introvert and shyness are good character in a person until toxic people hijacked it while their bosom are hanging and their bottom are spreads its not fun anymore its just sad. toxic people with extroverted style are the worst.
must be me right?  Cool

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#4
I used to have horrible social anxiety. Just the thought of it sent me into a tail spin. What worked for me was forcing myself to socialize, but I did it socially as not to completely overload myself. Start by going out and saying hi to people you pass (not all of them, that will make you look like a loon, if you are in a crowded area. lol). When you get that down, start a conversation with a cashier or someone like that. Keep building yourself up and eventually you will be doing it all without even noticing any anxiety. Should help with the shyness too.

And if you are beginning to feel anxious, don't panic. That just makes it worse. If you can, stop what you are doing, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. In for a count of three or four, out for a count of three or four. Actually count it out in your head (not out loud). That should help you with the anxiety, but it may not work if it's already full blown, it's vital to do that before it gets overwhelming.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 
[Image: 68694043_2341967022788228_46455155003665...Ng%3D%3D.2]
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#5
My social anxiety is bone deep, but then again, I'm autistic so that comes with the territory. Because I'm also cursed with bipolar disorder and PTSD, me going out to meet people is an impossible waste of time. As I grow older, I trust less and discern more. People are just toxic to me; my friends are the two angel fishes and a pleco in my 10 gallon aquarium. As long as I remain on disability and there's a roof over my head, I'll abide.
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#6
That's exactly how I feel. Growing up, I had tons of friends, and I rarely initiated it either. People just came to me. And I wonder why that doesn't happen anymore? I mean, it still does with men for me but I know they're not looking for just friendship. All my friends were girls in middle and high school, and now even trying to reconnect with some of those girls doesn't work! Maybe it's needing to be persistent...I don't know. I've given up on all that. It takes so much out of me, trying to make friends. I got over my social anxiety for awhile with psychiatric medication and alcoholism, but at that point it became about rejection. I can't handle the embarrassment of trying to make a friend who doesn't want to be. My self esteem is fragile, and it's much easier to convince yourself that everyone else is the problem.
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