Now that Christmas of over, I feel no different.
I have not seen my kids, grandkids and I must remain strong. Why I ask myself, well because I am their Mom and I love them.
Last year I had to beg my kids for a day so we can spend the holidays together, just one day was all I wanted. This year we all agreed to New Year's Eve day, but that did not work. My son was sick, I can understand, but I know I will not get a day for a while or even this year.
I guess I got depressed about all of this after I saw my remaining 3 siblings together and I was not there. You see I do not drive anymore, so no one ever wants to come this way to include me.
I lost my one brother 6 years ago from cancer and that separated my sister and myself. She neglected to tell me about his memorial service. When I asked she said it was up to his wife. The service was in her back yard. I know I should let this go, but I cannot. My remaining 2 brothers are good with me.
I do not know what else to say, I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. :club:
I also know that if I were to die tomorrow, there will not be a void in anyone`s life. That is a nasty way to feel. We all want to leave our mark, do we notÉ
I have not seen my kids, grandkids and I must remain strong. Why I ask myself, well because I am their Mom and I love them.
Last year I had to beg my kids for a day so we can spend the holidays together, just one day was all I wanted. This year we all agreed to New Year's Eve day, but that did not work. My son was sick, I can understand, but I know I will not get a day for a while or even this year.
I guess I got depressed about all of this after I saw my remaining 3 siblings together and I was not there. You see I do not drive anymore, so no one ever wants to come this way to include me.
I lost my one brother 6 years ago from cancer and that separated my sister and myself. She neglected to tell me about his memorial service. When I asked she said it was up to his wife. The service was in her back yard. I know I should let this go, but I cannot. My remaining 2 brothers are good with me.
I do not know what else to say, I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. :club:
I also know that if I were to die tomorrow, there will not be a void in anyone`s life. That is a nasty way to feel. We all want to leave our mark, do we notÉ