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Knight

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I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.
 
Knight said:
I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.

Same. No matter what I do, what I get up to, what hobbies I have, work, volunteering, exercise and gym ... it doesn’t really matter, there is always that emptiness of doing everything alone. The emptiness of not having anyone to share anything with. I know people say to enjoy being alone, enjoy being with yourself. But, when you have always been alone ... there is just that emptiness.
 
Well, here's a Christian perspective many won't want to hear, but nonetheless it's worth consideration.

I feel and understand loneliness as much as anyone on this site, being single all my life with no caring family, and friends dispersed far away from me.  But, I don't feel empty inside at all.

As created beings, we are designed and purposed to know and love our Creator.  Most people feel this need, but some choose to embrace it while others suppress or reject it.  We can spend our lives trying to fill this primary need with other relationships, activities, and pursuits of work and pleasure, but this basic need can only be filled through a close relationship with our Creator.

Regardless of one's situation in life, there's no legitimate reason to feel empty inside.  Our Creator, Lord, and Savior has reached out to all of us through Jesus.  If you'll seek him with your heart, you'll find peace, love and a fulfilling purpose in life.  
 
 
Knight said:
I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.

Do you remember when you first started to notice your depression? You don't have to give me any details if you don't want too. I'm just wondering is all. Did anything new happen in your life?
 
Knight said:
I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.

This I don't understand. I mean, unless you don't get along with your fiance or feel they don't really care about you (since they don't show it or show something in their body language that suggests they don't mean it when they do). Because for me, the primary reason for my depression is lack of love or meaningful support of any kind. I don't mean to undervalue your depression, but I simply couldn't understand it myself. For me, when I see people with loving family around them and tons of friends that clearly give a honeysuckle and want to be around them, and even kids .etc. Like this one girl on my facebook is like that. She's some girl I used to work with at Tim Hortons. Super nice girl, seemingly perfect family, lots of support on all her facebook messages .etc. I live in a dark pit of lonliness every day, without a single person to comfort me. To me it's one of those things that defies logic, like millionaires complaining about money troubles.. At the very least, more information would be required in order to understand it.
 
xephier102 said:
Knight said:
I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.

This I don't understand. I mean, unless you don't get along with your fiance or feel they don't really care about you (since they don't show it or show something in their body language that suggests they don't mean it when they do). Because for me, the primary reason for my depression is lack of love or meaningful support of any kind. I don't mean to undervalue your depression, but I simply couldn't understand it myself. For me, when I see people with loving family around them and tons of friends that clearly give a honeysuckle and want to be around them, and even kids .etc. Like this one girl on my facebook is like that. She's some girl I used to work with at Tim Hortons. Super nice girl, seemingly perfect family, lots of support on all her facebook messages .etc. I live in a dark pit of lonliness every day, without a single person to comfort me. To me it's one of those things that defies logic, like millionaires complaining about money troubles.. At the very least, more information would be required in order to understand it.

Ok...I can comment on that.
Except for the fiance bit, sometimes your friends are physically around. Yes. And that at least helps you pass the time. But when you need to talk about something that matters..and you find no one willing to understand, then this is very difficult.
Or maybe they laugh at you. Or not respect you. And maybe "good riddance" is not applicable or not possible.
Or maybe you long to measure up. Or maybe you are jealous of them.
1000 reasons.

For me, I would definitely agree that your situation is more difficult. And I cannot even compare mine to yours. But it doesn't make our situation less painful. 
Again..I hope for a change or a spark of light for us all.

Btw...maybe also your FB friend is faking it too.. to survive.
No judgement or anything. But my own FB has abt 950 friends. It means nothing.
They are virtual friends. Not real.
 
I can comment a bit on this too. I'm married and I don't tell my husband ANY of how I feel for several reasons.

1-he'd never understand. There's no history of anything like this in his family. He has no experiences of his own. To him, feeling unhappy is your own choice. He's literally one of those people that would tell a depressed person to 'get over it'.

2-If I told him, he'd then use that as an excuse for anything I did that he didn't like. Everything would be my fault because of <insert whatever here>

3-I don't think I could take the look of disgust or disappointment he'd get

4-In all probability it would mean the end of the marriage. He's not the caregiver type.

You can have people in your life that love you. They just don't necessarily love ALL of you. They love the bits they see. The bits you show them. The part you play. And there is always that fear that, if you show them the rest - the bits you hide - they'll run away and you'll KNOW absolutely that you cannot be loved. Ever.

Does that make sense?
 
Broken heart said:
xephier102 said:
Knight said:
I know this isn't new to most of us.

I feel so empty. Despite all that is in my life, fiance, job, apartment, etc. I am empty inside.

This I don't understand. I mean, unless you don't get along with your fiance or feel they don't really care about you (since they don't show it or show something in their body language that suggests they don't mean it when they do). Because for me, the primary reason for my depression is lack of love or meaningful support of any kind. I don't mean to undervalue your depression, but I simply couldn't understand it myself. For me, when I see people with loving family around them and tons of friends that clearly give a honeysuckle and want to be around them, and even kids .etc. Like this one girl on my facebook is like that. She's some girl I used to work with at Tim Hortons. Super nice girl, seemingly perfect family, lots of support on all her facebook messages .etc. I live in a dark pit of lonliness every day, without a single person to comfort me. To me it's one of those things that defies logic, like millionaires complaining about money troubles.. At the very least, more information would be required in order to understand it.
sometimes your friends are physically around. Yes. And that at least helps you pass the time. But when you need to talk about something that matters..and you find no one willing to understand, then this is very difficult.
Or maybe they laugh at you. Or not respect you. And maybe "good riddance" is not applicable or not possible.
Or maybe you long to measure up. Or maybe you are jealous of them.

Btw...maybe also your FB friend is faking it too.. to survive.
No judgement or anything. But my own FB has abt 950 friends. It means nothing.
They are virtual friends. Not real.

I can relate to that, tbh, the friend or two that I had like that; I've mostly just left behind. They can be additional stress all in all. I mean, it's one thing to feel empty and alone; it's another to feel those things while having someone around that reminds you of what trash you are, and leaves you feeling like you're going to have an aneurysm.

As for the FB friend, idk, I guess in some cases, depression is relative. If she were to walk a day in my shoes, she'd likely thank the non-existent god for every second of her life.
 
I have it all. I've learned that you can't run or forget your past and it's demons.
 
I think I know what you mean.
I feel like that sometimes too.

It comes in waves.

You won't always feel empty though.

Sadly, you probably won't always feel fullfilled.
 
When I feel like nothing matters I just don't do anything. And it doesn't matter. But, I have lots of projects to keep me occupied. So, I usually push myself into working on a project because I know I should. But, nothing really matters. The emptiness you feel is real. Without a meaningful purpose in life I don't know how you avoid the feeling of nothingness. But, we all can't be astronauts or brain surgeons. And then many of us can even find a person who gives a honeysuckle about us. So.................
 
Sometimes I get that empty feeling when I can't sleep. I lay there for a couple hours trying not to think about things that have already happened that I have no control over. Exercise and keeping busy throughout the day usually prevents this. When I'm exhausted my mind isn't able to wander. Sometimes there are nights like tonight were I stay up into the early hours of the morning browsing the internet or working on something, trying to avoid my confrontation with those memories and the feelings that follow.
 
Knight - Thanks for sharing your situation.

The best way to remove emptiness is to do what you love or love what you do.

Do you remember in the past when you did what you liked, you were so much involved in it that you almost forget the track of time? And then even after staying long into it you were still not exhausted.

Currently what it looks like you don't have any goals or purpose in life. You are going with the flow and unfortunately, that flow is something that doesn't make you happy.

Go the other way.

Make a list of things that you think will make you happy. Be it watching movies, working on your dream, reading, writing, workout, interacting with people, gardening, learning, biking etc. If you know nothing about what you like then find it. Explore new areas and find what you enjoy. Gradually start doing it daily no matter how busy you are. This will bring a sense of happiness deep within you. A vacuum will be filled soon.

You are spending too much time on doing the things that you need to do instead of the things that you want to do and should do.
 

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