I'm new - I suppose I should introduce myself?

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ScootNoot

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
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Location
Chicago
So my name's TyTy, i joined a few months ago but didn't really browse around until now. Not really sure what the etiquette for introductions is, so I'm just gonna give you a run down of the recent events that have made me who I am today. I'm here because, well, I'm a lonely person. I'm 23, should be having the time of my life being in my prime, right? Well, not so much.

I always had a very small, tight knit group of friends. Over the years they dropped off, as is natural. But in the last two years, I went from 4 or 5 really close friends, to absolutely none. The catalyst was my boyfriend. Together for 6 very formative years, we were planning on getting engaged. Then out of the blue, as I was away in Baltimore visiting family for Thanksgiving, he sent me a text to tell me that it was over. And that was it. No closure. Well, that changed my life in ways that I never thought a single person could. Fell into a steep depression and drug addiction, isolated, and subsequently lost my closest childhood best friend. I had been on my way to success through school, earning academic excellence awards and a prestigious internship for a highly praised archaeological program...but I dropped it all. 

And now, here I am. Almost 3 years later and I have no friends, a dead-end job, and no plans for my future. I'm in the process of pulling myself out of this hole. I've made plans to go back to therapy (I'd been in therapy for 15 years consistently due to childhood trauma and the developmental issues that come with all that), I'm looking for a nice 9-5 office job and taking online college courses. But the thing that troubles me most now is the lack of companionship. God how I want to connect with someone, even just having a best girlfriend to talk to and give mutual support. But I want that spark of falling in love again. I've stayed abstinent for 2 years, and ghosted all of the few men I've gone on dates with since. After being completely isolated for so long, I've forgotten how to interact with people. I don't know, I'm hoping this site can help me with all that. Even virtual interaction would be nice. I just don't want to feel alone anymore. All my motivation in life is driven by other people and my unique roll in society...I need to get that back if I'm going to keep moving forward. 'Cause all I've been doing is reliving the past, and I'm a different person now.

Anyways, sorry. That's a long, very personal introduction lol. I also like to write, and do portrait art. I love movies, especially psychological thrillers, and philosophical dramas. I have a 2 year old Great Dane/ Pitbull mix named Bruno, and he's my world! I grew up in Alaska, I am a professional soprano singer, a clinical hypochondriac, OH and I have a side ways uterus. So that's pretty cool. I'm a pretty analytical person, and spend most of my free time working through ideas, and studying various subjects. I'm nice I swear--I'm just shy! 

Thanks for reading this far, if you did!
 
Welcome, I think you'll find a mix of people here. It's not super active, but there's a few interesting people. Hope you can befriend a few of us. :)
 
GreatDane_2000x.jpg
So awesome u have doggies! :shy:
 
Hello..I just joined today..I understand what you mean about not wanting to feel alone anymore.  So by taking that first step and joining here, I hope we are starting a new chapter where we don’t have to be anymore.  So again Hello..nice to meet you
 
Welcome to AL, Dear ScootNoot. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. I am so sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens and venting. It is understandable the way you feel. We have been created for love and being loved. We have been created to live in communion with other as you say well in your post with close friends. I feel truly sorry for what you are going through. It is normal with in time we drop off friends because your age is the time that the persons make important decisions in their life such as: start studying a career at university or college. Did you BF explained to you what he decide to break up? Let me tell you my friend, that it is not real that we have a lot friends. We can have may be a lot of acquittances but friends only a few, only I would count with the fingers of my hand. I’m glad to know that you want to come back to therapy. If you made the effort to search a good therapist that could be very useful and it would help you with your situation. Counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are valuable and worthy of fighting for. That will help you to understand what are the roots of you feel lonely. Have you considered of seeking a support group for drug addiction such as: Narcotics Anonymous. I know from my experiences that sometimes we do not know how to handle suffering. Suffering is neither good nor bad. And if we embrace it we can allow our transformation into a better person. Maybe you can take out good of this situation that you have to deal with. Let me tell you please that you are not alone in this battle. Have you considered to seek social outlets such as volunteer organizations such as Habitat for Humanity or other church groups, recreational groups like making crafts, painting, bowling, sewing and knitting etc. I encourage you to be thankful for what you have in life and maybe it will help to make a list of all the good things you have and start saying “I am thankful for (for ex: life, family, friendships, etc)…”. This list-ly are extremely important for you are going through: https://list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-up-from-the-stubborn-darkness. Let me tell you my friend that you have a purpose in life. Please let me tell you, that you are not alone in this battle. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers my friend.
 
New here too, Scoot. Just wanted to say it's not your fault that you've fallen from social inclusion. Well, I suppose I have no way to know that for sure, but you sound authentic and very familiar. It's not my fault I have either, not directly anyway. People will blame you for their lack of understanding. So I'll not suppose it is your fault either.

People are an array of possibilities, what they do, what they mean, and interpretation can be difficult at it's best, but with some, at least many I've found, tend to be less intuitive and more on the singular side. You become their assumptions. It bothered me for a very long time why I was so commonly misunderstood. And then I realized— be yourself. Be genuine. You should eventually attract those that allow you your full array of character. You aren't without friends. They're out there. You've only to meet them.
 

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