Irish Guy 50 Married but lost. Looking for connection.

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Rua

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Feb 1, 2020
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Hi,

I'm have mixed feelings posting this. I'm married 22 years. Two children,19 & 16. Cutting to the chase, between mental and physical health issues, my wife has become very focused on herself. I understand why but after years of being supportive and listening and putting her first, over the last year or so I realise how much I have become diluted in what is now a very unequal relationship. We have discussed it but nothing changes. 

I have a really good job managing disability services  and outwardly put on a good front but inside I feel like an actor. For lots of reasons I am choosing to stay but I need a connection for myself. I am introverted I suppose and have two close male friends who are great but that only goes so far. If there was anyone on the flipside of a relationship like mine, I would love to connect.

Reading that back I feel a bit selfish posting this - for better or worse and all that - but I can't go on gradually losing myself. I'm happy to email with anyone really, and am a decent listener and very happy to support you. 

Thank you if you have taken the time to read this.

Rua
 
Welcome to the forums.
Look around and make yourself at home.
 
You're really good for asking. Busy busy at work. Looking out at the sun. Big change from this morning!  How is your day going?
 
Been a stressful and weird day for me.
Didn't get any sleep last night so I'm very tired. 
A lot of stuff could be worse and a lot could be better. 😊
All I want now is to relax and read the news. Lol 😁
 
MissBehave said:
Been a stressful and weird day for me.
Didn't get any sleep last night so I'm very tired. 
A lot of stuff could be worse and a lot could be better. 😊
All I want now is to relax and read the news. Lol 😁

I suppose a dodgy night wouldn't help the stress of the day. How was it weird? I hope its only transient. Maybe you'll sleep better tonight. I'll wish you a good nights sleep from a distance :)  It makes such a difference to mood and ability to cope. Although the news wouldn't make me relax. Too much misery around. Why does news have to be just bad news! Am in the car about to head home. The traffic will be murderous but I have Spotify to keep me company at least.
 
Yeah bad sleep makes me cranky 😂
Affects the whole day. I'm having a better one today so it's all good.
The news tend to be full of bad news but I guess id rather know than not.
Have a good one 🎶
 
MissBehave said:
Yeah bad sleep makes me cranky 😂
Affects the whole day. I'm having a better one today so it's all good.
The news tend to be full of bad news but I guess id rather know than not.
Have a good one 🎶

Glad your day is going better. I sleep maybe 4 - 5 hours a night. I don't need more than that and I like the few extra hours to myself anyway as I can recharge a bit. In my job I tend to be a bit of a professional meeting attender and I have a very long one in 10mins that I am not looking forward to. Not the meeting but the fact that its three hours and there is no way I can leave and get home at a reasonable hour as the traffic will be appalling. I work and live at opposite end of a motorway that rings outer Dublin. So I will stay and work on until 6.30 or so and head off then. Funny story - I rang my dad last night who told me he wasn't getting an Chinese take-away again until the Coronavirus is at least subsiding. In his words "sure I don't know when or where they went on their holidays so I'm not taking the chance"! LOL
 
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