Broken heart
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- Joined
- Apr 17, 2019
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So, can I?
In my day dream my partner respects me.
He is not an alpha male but more of man who's been through pain.
He doesn't give me disgusted looks. And in fact talks to me.
In my dreams he is gentle.
In my dreams he believes me, in me too, and is proud of me.
In my dreams he is a wounded hero who struggled and came out victorious. Doesn't matter what the victory was..maybe even just coming out standing is a victory on its own.
In my dreams he is lonely..too.
In my dreams..he loves me.
So can I just stay in bed today? And maybe the whole week?
Or should I just get up and face another day with my real life.
Loneliness in marriage is dreadful.
Loneliness with a husband, kids and friends is indescribable. Because when you dont have these, you dream of having them. But when you have them, what can you do more?
Friends who are around but don't understand.
Every day with a partner who shows you disgust cuts a piece of your self respect and self worth.
And no amout of good moments can make you whole.
You are patched up. Waiting to fall apart at any moment only wondering when will this moment be.
And when we have low self esteem, nothing can make us feel worthy of love. Or good. Or even adequate? Let alone "enough".
I think I wouldn"t still be sane except by the grace of God (sorry if you not a believer).
I think another hour in bed will have to do.
In my day dream my partner respects me.
He is not an alpha male but more of man who's been through pain.
He doesn't give me disgusted looks. And in fact talks to me.
In my dreams he is gentle.
In my dreams he believes me, in me too, and is proud of me.
In my dreams he is a wounded hero who struggled and came out victorious. Doesn't matter what the victory was..maybe even just coming out standing is a victory on its own.
In my dreams he is lonely..too.
In my dreams..he loves me.
So can I just stay in bed today? And maybe the whole week?
Or should I just get up and face another day with my real life.
Loneliness in marriage is dreadful.
Loneliness with a husband, kids and friends is indescribable. Because when you dont have these, you dream of having them. But when you have them, what can you do more?
Friends who are around but don't understand.
Every day with a partner who shows you disgust cuts a piece of your self respect and self worth.
And no amout of good moments can make you whole.
You are patched up. Waiting to fall apart at any moment only wondering when will this moment be.
And when we have low self esteem, nothing can make us feel worthy of love. Or good. Or even adequate? Let alone "enough".
I think I wouldn"t still be sane except by the grace of God (sorry if you not a believer).
I think another hour in bed will have to do.