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Just Games

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Well my kid is suffering the same way I did in his last years at school...no friends, except online on games..Social Anxiety and not wanting to go to school.

But I can help him because I've been there so know just how lonely he's feeling but of course had no internet then just I dunno I not sure how I completed school...probably alcohol certainly not parents one too soft ,the other just in his own world.

I got a tough wife too that pushes me to get him in lol it's probably all because of her that he went back yesterday thank God.

Just wondered how your experience has or can help others in the same position as you.,thanks.
 
Wishing the best for your son Just Games. 🎈💐❤️
I think that keeping the line of communication between you and your son as open as possible is a good step. Making sure he can come to you and talk when life is getting hard. 
Have you shared with him that you struggled with the same issues? Sometimes hearing that others have gone through the same can be comforting. 
Hope you have a good one 🌷
 
MissBehave said:
Wishing the best for your son Just Games. 🎈💐❤️
I think that keeping the line of communication between you and your son as open as possible is a good step. Making sure he can come to you and talk when life is getting hard. 
Have you shared with him that you struggled with the same issues? Sometimes hearing that others have gone through the same can be comforting. 
Hope you have a good one 🌷

Yes I have when he was really down.My kids know majority of my past...I'm too open to them I think should really withhold bits I dunno.

Thanks Missbehave.
 
My son is basically the same way, though he has issues that make him not care as much. He'll talk to people when he has to or if he has something interesting to say (interesting to him, not necessarily anyone else. lol), but other than that, he's pretty much fine being on his own. I try to push him to join clubs and talk to people, but I can only do so much for him.
I wouldn't say my kid has social anxiety, just the regular variety...not that there is a regular variety. He does get anxious in crowds of people, but that falls more on his other issues than anything else, I think. He has several good friends online, but I want him to have a life outside the internet.
I was never a loner or left out in school, so I don't have that experience, but I have been through a lot and lost most of my friends at one point in my life, so I just try to relate, but not be too pushy. The other issue with my kid is that no matter what I say or how right I am, he doesn't listen to me. He refuses to listen or do most of what I say. He admits that he knows I'm right, but also feels like he has to "rebel" or something against me out of spite or something. Or maybe even that he thinks that's what teenagers are supposed to do, so he's trying to be "normal" and not listen to his mom like a good teenager. He gets an idea in his head and good luck getting it out. So, I just try to get others to bring it up. People he will listen to.
 
Exactly same here too about trying to encourage life outside the internet which is tough with the addictive qualities of it for kids but we must not give up I think....Thanks so much for sharing means alot Real callie.
 
When my daughter was bullied at school, I told her about my time at school - being bullied etc. I told her how everyone told me to ignore them and they'd go away - that the school would deal with it - and all the other things that the school was telling her at that time. I also told her what the result was - for me. Nothing. They didn't stop. They didn't go away. The school didn't deal with it. Nobody did anything and nothing got any better.

I also told her what I found out years later. That another kid at the same school in the same year as me was told my her parents to beat the crap out of the people bullying her - and she did - and it stopped it. I hadn't heard about any of that when I was at school and she certainly didn't seem to have been in trouble over it.

I told her that it was her choice what to do and that I'd support her whatever choice she made.

She chose to ignore the bullies and be friends with herself - never mind anyone else. Slowly over the course of years she acquired actual friends. She has a number of friends and is far more confident in social situations than I am. She also says that knowing I was in her corner no matter what - and that I knew what she was going through - helped.

Seriously proud of my daughter btw.
 
I know that feeling well... don't get me started on pride and brilliant daughters lol...it's an incredible thing .  :).Thanks I'm Fine so pleased you have a great relationship with yours :)
 
Just Games said:
Well my kid is suffering the same way I did in his last years at school...no friends, except online on games..Social Anxiety and not wanting to go to school.

But I can help him because I've been there so know just how lonely he's feeling but of course had no internet then just I dunno I not sure how I completed school...probably alcohol certainly not parents one too soft ,the other just in his own world.

I got a tough wife too that pushes me to get him in lol it's probably all because of her that he went back yesterday thank God.

Just wondered how your experience has or can help others in the same position as you.,thanks.

As far as making friends in school, you have very limited control. You can advise him but that’s it. You can tell him that to make friends, he needs to be a friend first. Be helpful, cheerful, and do not be mean to others. And its okay if nothing happens because he will grow up to be a good person and along the way he will make friends. Now the flip side is that you have a lot of control in your relationship. Strengthen that bond. Kids who have strong family values and relationships will make it no matter what. Be sincerely interested in what he does, not just to boost his spirits. Help him learn things, do things together such as how to solve problems and mysteries. The most important message is that you are on his side and that you are there for him as he grows up.
 
MaybeICanHelp said:
Just Games said:
Well my kid is suffering the same way I did in his last years at school...no friends, except online on games..Social Anxiety and not wanting to go to school.

But I can help him because I've been there so know just how lonely he's feeling but of course had no internet then just I dunno I not sure how I completed school...probably alcohol certainly not parents one too soft ,the other just in his own world.

I got a tough wife too that pushes me to get him in lol it's probably all because of her that he went back yesterday thank God.

Just wondered how your experience has or can help others in the same position as you.,thanks.

As far as making friends in school, you have very limited control. You can advise him but that’s it. You can tell him that to make friends, he needs to be a friend first. Be helpful, cheerful, and do not be mean to others. And its okay if nothing happens because he will grow up to be a good person and along the way he will make friends. Now the flip side is that you have a lot of control in your relationship. Strengthen that bond. Kids who have strong family values and relationships will make it no matter what. Be sincerely interested in what he does, not just to boost his spirits. Help him learn things, do things together such as how to solve problems and mysteries. The most important message is that you are on his side and that you are there for him as he grows up.

Thanks I will hold on to that positive line about making friends during his life ,but it doesn't stop the worry about whether he will succeed at making friends because he's so introverted.I try to be a good father but I have my own issues about social anxiety which I'm making good progress at lately which sounds selfish I know.Also it is very hard to approach him about friends because like me which I'm sure he sees he seems to be doing ok ,coping I suppose but he still looks unhappy ,doesn't laugh much except on a recent family holiday ,you just know he'd rather have his own friends it can be very painful as a Dad to see your kid depressed.Last time I broached the subject of friends he ended up in tears so it's very difficult to know what to do.Like you said you can't make friends for them just I suppose be there for them.But sometimes work pressure ,other kids problems take over so the pull of the internet where he's comfortable just sucks him back we can't stop that.

Also we both being mature now the wife and I want to do stuff together I know selfish again I know .I suppose because my other two always had friends as well we're just not sure if taking him out cinema ,biking is the right thing to do because maybe just delays his own development like most  kids his age having girlfriends ,parties and the like so it is difficult.But on the positive we have a big family and he does have us around which is good stops him being too lonely.

Anyway I'm sure he'll be ok , thanks for helping with this it is much appreciated but it's painful for me at the moment .

Thanks for people relaying their experiences it all helps ,especially kids with these issues reading threads like this.
 

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