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Advice for fellow lonely people
Here is some advice I have learned the hard way so you don't make the same mistake Smile

1. Avoid at all costs going to groups specifically for depression in your locality.

I know this sounds counterproductive, why would I want to not go to my local mental health cafe or recovery group. It's common sense right, we are lonely we need things to do! The reason being is that these groups are often run by people who have been in the same situation for over 10 years, they are bored following the same cycle and conversations can a bit boring, also some people in these groups often don't show up, so you spend an hour waiting for them to turn up and they don't show. You will find yourself bored out of your ass in 5 minutes from a lack of real connections.
For example a lass, I know used to spend the time the whole time talking about the weather, nothing else, she wouldn't say anything else and after while I got bored of her.
The other horrible lass I know of in community was an ex-service user of mine in social services and at first, it was great but then she appeared and she turned the group into a negative spiral so she would pick on someone who was self-harming, had severe depression, panic attacks and take the piss of them or say things that were inappropriate for they were feeling "Pull yourself together, read a good book when your crisis, just x your life, your life worthless anyway, go and drink x y z and take load of x while you're there.," she convinced anorexic that she was too fat and "she needed to carry on with her lifestyle choice" or she would convince someone to and eat themselves out "it's not that hard, you could just one pint of beer and it leads to the next," "I wish I could be an alcoholic, I could wine all day every day and never go to the dole office, drink up"
so best advice join clubs and groups on specific interests, so you are meeting people outside of your illness, join groups and clubs online, forums, chat rooms, etc.

2. Avoid mindfulness

You will come across a new craze called mindfulness and idea is very simple but this can simplify your problems and I'm sure you wouldn't want to be in distress because of work and some idiot says "look at the pretty window, concentrate your surroundings, focus on your breathing" so the easiest reaction is to say "I know you mean well, but this isn't the time, place or situation to be looking at the window, i have this report that needs to be done by 5 pm" 

3. Hoping that anxiety pills during a situation will work when often they help once the situation is dealt with
At first, you may think about taking anti-anxiety  pill during a bout of anxiety, it's common sense, a quick fix, a way to solve problem but these pills are great but often come with rather an awful side effect and you don't want to half-sleep while giving a presentation, so it's best given try once the anxiety situation is finished and you've gone home for the day and the use the drug to help chill you and forget about situation...a good movie, crap on telly,
I wouldn't say going to mental help meetings is a bad thing. You don't have to continue going if you don't enjoy them, but just going to one could help you meet someone that could turn into your best friend or significant other. Never rule out a way to potentially meet people.

As for the mindfulness thing, while I get that you may have a shit ton to do, if you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off or you're anxious, that's not going to help whatever it is that needs done, so taking a minute or two to refocus yourself and calm down isn't a bad idea either.

Anxiety drugs are typically supposed to be taken when you need them, not suffer through and take later. If you can stem off taking them for that long, chances are high that you don't need the drugs at all and there is a better way to work through the anxiety.
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[Image: 28467734_1679297465465479_46906082594714...e=5F13E812]
I don't go to any support groups in my area because there is too much risk of people knowing my family (or knowing people who know me or my family), and that can cause serious problems -- professionally, socially, etc. I've had enough problems with bullying and ostracism in my life that I've learned to avoid local groups and just stick with online groups where I have more control over who I deal with. Also stalkers, being assaulted, etc. So yes, I agree, but for different reasons, I guess.
I've never felt support groups and I had anything to offer each other. I do well with one or two people. More than that and it seems patronizing.
Agree with the groups. For me, since my depression is mostly because of the loneliness, I have noticed in most depression/anxiety/trauma groups I have been to, I will be the only single person there. Everyone else will be married or have a partner. And to be quite honest, when I try to explain the loneliness, that there are no friends and no partner, no family that care, they don’t understand it. Would even go as far as to say that most times it feels like I am just dismissed. So yeah, group therapy and all that, aren’t always good places. Plus, most groups seem to get dominated by one, two, or three people, and it all becomes about them and their dramas (often self inflicted, ie: drugs and/or alcohol)

Agree with the mindfulness thing too. Have been to many therapists who have suggested it, gotten me to try it, and nup. It just doesn’t work for me. Maybe it does for some people, and good for them.

And yeah, agree with the medication too. Again, for some it works. But for me, pills have never helped. I know what is causing my depression and anxiety, and I know no pills take that away. They don’t change my mood when I know that the loneliness is still there.

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