Asexual?

xephier102 · Mar 6, 2020

I think I'm Asexual. I mean, I wank every 1-3 days, but in terms of sex with other people, I have never considered it to be a priority. Most people seem to be raging perverts by comparison (and the general media largely reflects this..). I'm reminded of that episode of Jessica Jones, when I talk about this. The one in which she meets Luke Cage, and not two minutes into knowing eachother, they're fuckin.. it's disgusting IMHO... Like "hey, since we just met, how'd ya like to slam my vagina into the next week?"..

And really, how could anyone with more than two brain cells, trust having sex with anyone that would screw them that quick, and then not even demand a test be done for STDs first..?

Anyways, more to the point, any other Asexual people here? I'll cut to the chase, I'm curious as to if any women that are Asexual, care about what a person looks or sounds like(just for the record that is, I won't start harassing anyone that replies, lol)? Also, are there any forums or dating sites for Asexual folks, that aren't run by greedy bastards (IE: pay sites)? I looked a while back and was only able to find the one, and it was a monthly pay thing.. A: I'm broke. B: I'll never give a cent to anyone just looking to exploit the less fortunate.

I'm Fine · Mar 6, 2020

My daughter is Asexual and I know that she's on a forum of like-minded people - and it's free (there's no way she'd pay).

I *think* it's this one but I'm not sure. I can ask her if you like?

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

TheRealCallie · Mar 6, 2020

So, if a website asks that you pay for a membership, they are exploiting the less fortunate? I hardly see how that's true. Websites generally cost money to run, so I fail to see why it's a crime for some to charge. Not to mention the fact that I would imagine any site that is about sexuality would bring in a lot of trolls/********. Having people pay for a membership is going to greatly reduce the number of trolls/******** they get.
Yeah, they aren't exploiting anyone.

xephier102 · Mar 7, 2020

TheRealCallie said:
So, if a website asks that you pay for a membership, they are exploiting the less fortunate? I hardly see how that's true. Websites generally cost money to run, so I fail to see why it's a crime for some to charge. Not to mention the fact that I would imagine any site that is about sexuality would bring in a lot of trolls/********. Having people pay for a membership is going to greatly reduce the number of trolls/******** they get.
Yeah, they aren't exploiting anyone.

There are plenty of dating sites that do not charge a monthly fee. So there's obviously some way around it. and by exploiting, I mean, the exclusion of people in within that niche sexuality, that don't have the funds to pay a monthly fee. Although in your case, I'm pretty sure that I could write a thread entitled 'the sky is blue' and you would find a reason to argue against it.

I\ said:
My daughter is Asexual and I know that she's on a forum of like-minded people - and it's free (there's no way she'd pay).

I *think* it's this one but I'm not sure. I can ask her if you like?

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

Thank you, I actually signed up already, no pay walls.

Finished · Mar 25, 2020

Wow! I had no idea Asexual even existed. I had a girlfriend a long time ago that must have been asexual. She never initiated sex, never seemed into it, and just seemed to do it as a something that needed to be done like taking a shower or washing clothes. Hmmm. Interesting.

I asked her about it many times but she didn't want to talk about it. I just assumed she didn't like me. I'm glad different sexual orientations are more open and talked about now. I could understand, accept, and be with someone that is Asexual but I couldn't stay with someone that just didn't like me. My dad said my mom only had sex in order to have children and then permanently closed the sex door. He also believed that my mom didn't like him. Maybe she was Asexual too.

Thanks for sharing.

Cucuboth · Mar 25, 2020

xephier102 said:
TheRealCallie said:

So, if a website asks that you pay for a membership, they are exploiting the less fortunate? I hardly see how that's true. Websites generally cost money to run, so I fail to see why it's a crime for some to charge. Not to mention the fact that I would imagine any site that is about sexuality would bring in a lot of trolls/********. Having people pay for a membership is going to greatly reduce the number of trolls/******** they get.
Yeah, they aren't exploiting anyone.

Click to expand...

There are plenty of dating sites that do not charge a monthly fee. So there's obviously some way around it. and by exploiting, I mean, the exclusion of people in within that niche sexuality, that don't have the funds to pay a monthly fee. Although in your case, I'm pretty sure that I could write a thread entitled 'the sky is blue' and you would find a reason to argue against it.

I\ said:

My daughter is Asexual and I know that she's on a forum of like-minded people - and it's free (there's no way she'd pay).

I *think* it's this one but I'm not sure. I can ask her if you like?

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

Click to expand...

Thank you, I actually signed up already, no pay walls.

There are dating sites that don’t charge a fee? Where are these mythical places you speak of? Every dating site and app I have seen and used has wanted payment. Some might be free to sign up with, but if you want to chat, see who has viewed your profile, ect ect, you have to hand over money. So they aren’t free at all, and even when you pay, they never work ... at least in my experience.

xephier102 · Mar 26, 2020

Cucuboth said:
xephier102 said:

TheRealCallie said:

So, if a website asks that you pay for a membership, they are exploiting the less fortunate? I hardly see how that's true. Websites generally cost money to run, so I fail to see why it's a crime for some to charge. Not to mention the fact that I would imagine any site that is about sexuality would bring in a lot of trolls/********. Having people pay for a membership is going to greatly reduce the number of trolls/******** they get.
Yeah, they aren't exploiting anyone.

Click to expand...

There are plenty of dating sites that do not charge a monthly fee. So there's obviously some way around it. and by exploiting, I mean, the exclusion of people in within that niche sexuality, that don't have the funds to pay a monthly fee. Although in your case, I'm pretty sure that I could write a thread entitled 'the sky is blue' and you would find a reason to argue against it.

I\ said:

My daughter is Asexual and I know that she's on a forum of like-minded people - and it's free (there's no way she'd pay).

I *think* it's this one but I'm not sure. I can ask her if you like?

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

Click to expand...

Thank you, I actually signed up already, no pay walls.

Click to expand...

There are dating sites that don’t charge a fee? Where are these mythical places you speak of? Every dating site and app I have seen and used has wanted payment. Some might be free to sign up with, but if you want to chat, see who has viewed your profile, ect ect, you have to hand over money. So they aren’t free at all, and even when you pay, they never work ... at least in my experience.

Yea, but live chat and seeing who viewed your profile, are more extra things, you can still do stuff on the site without those things. With that other Asexual dating site, you could sign up, but literally do nothing else without payment.

But that's the thing with dating sites, they either work, or you're a less than amazing looking straight male. Paying money to them won't change that. Course, even if you're a less than amazing looking male, you can always drop your name in the hat and hope real hard for that lottery winning chance of a reply.

In keeping with the lotto metaphor; what's expected of people like that, is for us to go on there like a senior into a casino with a big black garbage bag fulla loonies, and push em into every slot machine in the place.. but in my case and many other guys in even remotely similar dating situations; that's like telling a fish to grow legs and walk on land.. our confidence has already been kicked into the mud, and with me personally, I'm so **** sensitive, emotionally speaking, that even a single rejection tears me apart, so that many could very likely end me on a literal note..

Livebreathesmile · Mar 26, 2020

You might be 'Asexual' but I would say that only applies to people who have no sexual feelings at all. The fact that you're regularly masturbating shows there's sexual feelings there, as I guess you fantasise in those sessions to make everything happen?

I'd say you're just unlucky in love and confidence shattered because you're a sensitive person who struggles with building a thick skin. There are many people out there who are the same as you. Just trying to find that one person who will make them happy!

Dating sites aren't for you! Forget about them.

I will advise you to do the same as someone else on here. Join a few groups eg Walking groups, cinema groups, whatever, let people get to know you, but don't talk about your insecurites with them (they have them too). Listen to them. Give them your view on the world. But give it time, they won't become your friends in a day, but give it six months.....

Many won't get attracted to you, and Sods law says it'll be the one's you're attracted to! But keep going, enjoy whatever you're doing anyway. And if you get on with someone ie they will come and talk to you, then get to know them and if it keeps happening and you feel attracted to them (and know they're single), then ask them for a date! If you get told 'no' then laugh it off, change the subject and go back to being friends. NEVER pester them. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

And another thing, many 'classically' beautiful people, just want a decent, confident, person, who they feel safe and comfortable with. Look around you, you will see 'classically' beautiful good-lookers, with 'classically' ugly lookers! Wonder why that is? It's because they love being with that person and see past their 'looks'.

So, never be shy to a talk to a person like that. They're just human beings and probably (almost certainly) have their own insecurities to deal with.

xephier102 · Mar 29, 2020

Livebreathesmile said:
You might be 'Asexual' but I would say that only applies to people who have no sexual feelings at all. The fact that you're regularly masturbating shows there's sexual feelings there, as I guess you fantasise in those sessions to make everything happen?

I'd say you're just unlucky in love and confidence shattered because you're a sensitive person who struggles with building a thick skin. There are many people out there who are the same as you. Just trying to find that one person who will make them happy!

Dating sites aren't for you! Forget about them.

I will advise you to do the same as someone else on here. Join a few groups eg Walking groups, cinema groups, whatever, let people get to know you, but don't talk about your insecurites with them (they have them too). Listen to them. Give them your view on the world. But give it time, they won't become your friends in a day, but give it six months.....

Many won't get attracted to you, and Sods law says it'll be the one's you're attracted to! But keep going, enjoy whatever you're doing anyway. And if you get on with someone ie they will come and talk to you, then get to know them and if it keeps happening and you feel attracted to them (and know they're single), then ask them for a date! If you get told 'no' then laugh it off, change the subject and go back to being friends. NEVER pester them. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

And another thing, many 'classically' beautiful people, just want a decent, confident, person, who they feel safe and comfortable with. Look around you, you will see 'classically' beautiful good-lookers, with 'classically' ugly lookers! Wonder why that is? It's because they love being with that person and see past their 'looks'.

So, never be shy to a talk to a person like that. They're just human beings and probably (almost certainly) have their own insecurities to deal with.

Good advice, but tbh, I see myself as Asexual because I don't focus on sex as a reason to be with a person. The thing is, outside of those jerk sessions, I don't even really think about sex. For the most part I don't even love the idea of sex with another person (in real life). Like, maybe the ideal situation with just the right person physically speaking, maybe, but the thing is, and not to sound narcissistic (cuz I'm really not), I've been alone so long, that I honestly don't think anyone could do me as well as I do myself. In other words, I think sex is offered rated. I mean, ya don't make it to being **** near the 40 year old virgin, without learning how to hit all the right points. I won't go too much into the gritty details of it, but I'll say this much, I used to be a 30 second jerker, and oddly took some kinda pride in that, lol.. never speed-jerk; some of the best sessions I've had have lasted for hours.

I just don't think of sex with another person, as sex; I see it as making love. Sex is something ya do with a hooker(not that I ever would).

As for the joining groups and such, sadly I live in a tiny Town right now, so not a lot of options. Sides, I have large anxieties when it comes to being in groups. I went to an Xmas party at this restaurant and bar that I worked at once, I stuck around for about an hour, barely a couple people said hi to me, so I bailed. Let loose a few tears on the way home. No one said a thing about me bailing early. I generally always feel 100X more alone in a room full of people than I do when I'm sitting at home at my comp.

Asexual?

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