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Despondent
#1
I'm really in a loss of hope. I'm in treatment and doing everything that I am supposed to be doing. I am not getting better. I still feel the same everyday, my thoughts don't help either. I am scared, feel very alone, nothing is getting through to me. I feel so dead, beyond help and hope.

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#2
Well I hope these words reach through to you, hope can be a bar of soap sometimes and it can be a tricky thing to hold on to. Maybe that's why hope and soap rhyme?? Anyway, more seriously, although it can be elusive it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be searched for. Like so many good things in life, it is hard to find but worth the pursuit.

I have been in the grip of despair in the past, I'm glad to say it's behind me now. I don't know quite how or when I finally left it behind, I'm just glad it isn't with me anymore. I've had a very fulfilled and happy day today, just this evening I was thinking how happy I felt and just how far behind I've managed to leave my strife. These are the days that are worth looking forward to and working towards when things seem completely hopeless.
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#3
I've had days like that - and when I say days, I mean months. I know what it's like to be stuck in that dark place where everything is too much and not enough at the same time.

I'm assuming it's not your first time in the rabbit hole (you say you're in treatment) so... what helped before? Can you do that (assuming you're not already)? Do you remember how long it took before you started to feel - not better, but not as bad?

But yeah, it takes time. I know it feels like it'll never stop. Like you'll always be there - always feel like that. But it isn't forever. Well, hasn't been for me so far anyway.

And hey, if it helps - you're doing better than me. I'm not in treatment. At least you're actively doing something to help yourself.

Good luck

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I'm an Optimistic Pessimist. I'm absolutely POSITIVE that it's all going to go horribly wrong...

Marge: I'm not afraid
Grampa: Then you're not paying close enough attention
(from episode entitled 'Strong Arms of the Ma')
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#4
You say you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, but do you WANT to do everything you're supposed to be doing? If you don't, that's where the problem lies. People can give you all the help in the world, but if you resist or you're too scared to hope and and really want it, it's never going to work.
You are only alone if you choose to be. I know that sounds superficial, but it's true. You have people helping you. You have people on this forum who continue to give you encouragement and advice and hope every time you post. You have people in real life who are trying to help you, even if you don't think they are or don't want to or whatever else your brain is telling you.
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#5
LilE, you've left out a few points. Treatment for what? Depression? Alcoholism? Drug addiction?

Doesn't matter what your illness is, you have to want the change. *Credits Callie* You have to do the work. No one can make you better...unless it's a cold or a booboo. There are steps you can take for yourself, but without knowing your issue we've really no direction.

But for each of the above, find something that makes you feel better even if it's only for seconds. Then find something else. Pick a goal and work toward it. Reaching the goal isn't as important as having it distract you. We don't get over things with a onetime fix all. We have to heal in layers. Impatience won't help you.
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#6
LilE, I've read some of your other posts to respect the complexity of your problems and feelings of hopelessness.  I can't pretend to have any specialized advice on your numerous treatment methods, but I'd like to offer some encouragement in a way different than the others.

First, here's a nice song quite applicable for you that you might enjoy and hold onto:

https://youtu.be/SXuDHkd-hKo

Second, here's a half hour sermon that won't immediately solve your problems, but it might lead you onto a better track for the future:

https://youtu.be/GWK-zbsmNlw
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