Futurecatlady2
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- Joined
- Mar 19, 2020
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I have led an extraordinarily uneventful, empty life. This has led to many people telling me, throughout my life, how I'm so very lucky that I'm not experiencing heartbreak, or despair, or injury. And true--I'm very lucky for that. But these same people invariably go on to experience great joys after the great pains, and then the next crop of friends comes along with their problems, and the cycle continues. I'm always in limbo. Never really in crisis, certainly none so severe that anyone else would care about it. But I also never have any joys. My entire life consists of stressing out about and looking after others in crisis, all of whom eventually find happiness.
I guess I'm tired of feeling joyless, and then guilty for feeling sorry for myself because I know nothing about real struggles. It's gotten to the point where I fantasize about something terrible happening to me, because then at least I can direct my unhappiness at something, and I have the recovery to look forward to and work towards. I no longer fantasize about good things happening to me.
I guess I'm tired of feeling joyless, and then guilty for feeling sorry for myself because I know nothing about real struggles. It's gotten to the point where I fantasize about something terrible happening to me, because then at least I can direct my unhappiness at something, and I have the recovery to look forward to and work towards. I no longer fantasize about good things happening to me.