Livebreathesmile
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- Joined
- Mar 24, 2020
- Messages
- 31
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Never thought loneliness would creep into my life, always enjoyed living in my own skin but recently it has.
Cutting a long story short, always had a woman in my life since 1986!
First 9 year relationship broke down
Then single for 3 months, met who was to become my wife and after a whirlwind romance, married 9 months later. Had a child together 4 years later, who is now grown up but I left my wife mutually when my daughter was 8.
Single for 3 months, then met who was to become my 2nd wife. Sadly, after a 7 year battle with cancer, she passed away last year. I loved her dearly, even if it was tough at times.
Single for 3 months!
Then met my latest woman, who I fell in love with (and she said she loved me), but we came at the relationship from different angles, her's from being happily single and devoted to work and me being widowed, craving that everyday feeling of having someone to get home to and wanting a long standing relationship again. I wanted more and started to feel lonely (saw her two - three times a week).
We finished last week. She did it, but it really wasn't going anywhere, just too much effort. A lovely lady, just the wrong time.
During the relationship, I went to a retreat and saw a spiritual healer. She told me that I should spend time alone if the relationship broke down. Get to know myself. She was the one who pointed out I'd had a woman in my life almost non-stop since 1986. She put this down to me growing up too early and feeling like an adult aged 5. My mum got hooked on prescription drugs for depression after seeing a boy knocked over and the boy dying in her arms, consequently struggled to give me the love and support I needed as a young boy. She felt I had needed female support and deep down probably craved it.
All fair enough. I got the logic.
So, here I am, single again but now aged 53. I feel absolutely blessed to have had these lovely ladies in my life, to have found love, been married, had a child, had so much that some people never have.
But, the loneliness has started to kick in and obviously stuck at home on the back of a breakup is not helping. But I am determined to stay single and not even look for another woman (after my wife died, I didn't want another, thought I'd die a lonely old man, but one did come along). I think the difference is now, that I want to find out about myself, do some travelling maybe, not jump in again.
But I might need some help along the way. I'm not afraid to ask. Equally I love helping others and I love to learn. So maybe along the way we can all help one another.
God bless you all x
Cutting a long story short, always had a woman in my life since 1986!
First 9 year relationship broke down
Then single for 3 months, met who was to become my wife and after a whirlwind romance, married 9 months later. Had a child together 4 years later, who is now grown up but I left my wife mutually when my daughter was 8.
Single for 3 months, then met who was to become my 2nd wife. Sadly, after a 7 year battle with cancer, she passed away last year. I loved her dearly, even if it was tough at times.
Single for 3 months!
Then met my latest woman, who I fell in love with (and she said she loved me), but we came at the relationship from different angles, her's from being happily single and devoted to work and me being widowed, craving that everyday feeling of having someone to get home to and wanting a long standing relationship again. I wanted more and started to feel lonely (saw her two - three times a week).
We finished last week. She did it, but it really wasn't going anywhere, just too much effort. A lovely lady, just the wrong time.
During the relationship, I went to a retreat and saw a spiritual healer. She told me that I should spend time alone if the relationship broke down. Get to know myself. She was the one who pointed out I'd had a woman in my life almost non-stop since 1986. She put this down to me growing up too early and feeling like an adult aged 5. My mum got hooked on prescription drugs for depression after seeing a boy knocked over and the boy dying in her arms, consequently struggled to give me the love and support I needed as a young boy. She felt I had needed female support and deep down probably craved it.
All fair enough. I got the logic.
So, here I am, single again but now aged 53. I feel absolutely blessed to have had these lovely ladies in my life, to have found love, been married, had a child, had so much that some people never have.
But, the loneliness has started to kick in and obviously stuck at home on the back of a breakup is not helping. But I am determined to stay single and not even look for another woman (after my wife died, I didn't want another, thought I'd die a lonely old man, but one did come along). I think the difference is now, that I want to find out about myself, do some travelling maybe, not jump in again.
But I might need some help along the way. I'm not afraid to ask. Equally I love helping others and I love to learn. So maybe along the way we can all help one another.
God bless you all x