Money issues, loneliness and life time depression

I'm just alone all the time on my free time. I have a job and there i mostly feel alone, too. Even on the internet  I find it hard to make  connections.

I am past my mid 20's and I've always felt this way. I recently had my birthday and realized my life is not going anywhere. Sure  I am lucky to have a somewhat decent job now. But it doesn't help me with my personal relationships, which seems to be the root of these issues (or more like me being the issue, but you know).

I mean, there are some things that are making my life ok. I have my own apartment (though I can barely afford it these days). I have a job (not a full time but I can manage). I can visit my parents anytime I want, we are in a good terms. I have one of my siblings that I see regularly who is very important to me.

But that's about it. I live alone. I have developed a bad addiction to alcohol for 2-3 years now. I've always been depressed and anxious ever since childhood.

I see job/apartment/family are the positive things in my life but they are not the force that keeps me going forever, you know? There is no me, there is nothign that I want from my life. I'm just alone all days. I have ideas and inspirations but when I have the time to make it happen I just do nothing instead.

My money issues are worrying me a bit too. I am in quite some debt and with this corona virus I don't get as much working hours as I should have/need to have. Of course I understand this situation, it is bad and there is not much I can do. How are the hundreds of thousands of people ALL going to get out of this financial trouble, me included?

Well for starters there are a number of things you need to tackle

1. Procrastination - if you can't be bothered to tackle the points below (for whatever reason), then this is procrastination. You need to learn how not to procrastinate.

Once that's solved then, create a plan, something like:

1. Where is all your money going, spreadsheet it, work out exactly how much you're paying out versus how much is coming in
2. Cut down on all non-essentials as much as you can and then start cutting down your bills. Can you get your electric cheaper? Broadband etc. If it's anything like mine your spreadsheet will have about 30 things to consider of where your money is going
3. When you're confident that your outgoings are under control ..... and maybe what's going out is now at least equal to what's coming in, then concentrate on building your income. Can you do a little side job ? Buy and sell on ebay? All this extra money coming in, put in another account and keep building. Make every effort to not touch this money (however if you have debts, then pay this off first before building yourself some security)
4. Keep going! Pay off your debts! Have a target amount you want to save for emergencies - say 5-10k - and NEVER touch this. It's your financial security for emergencies and emergencies only.
5. Once that is reached, keep doing what you've done, to build for 'feel good' luxuries. A holiday, a new car, nicer furniture, TV etc. You will feel much more comfortable about buying these because you are now financially secure and in control.

However, your admission that you have a drinking problem is your number one thing to tackle. How much money are you spending on booze, what better use could you put this to? For this, you need help and I would suggest you don't wait a minute longer

The number one thing you have is always your health. It's an old cliche, but nothing is truer. You can do nothing without it. It is important to keep your body as fit and strong as possible. If you get told that your liver is fcked up and you will need treatment for the rest of your life then this affects everything - your ability to travel, to socialise, to be active etc, basically your 'freedom' is affected.

Please get help for your drinking problem and then get to work on the above.

Loveableplatypus, you say: "I've always been depressed and anxious ever since childhood... There is no me, there is nothing that I want from my life."

Let me first establish that you're still very young with time and room to change, grow, and steer your life onto a better path. To the good advice and encouragement above, I'd like to suggest that we all need and have a purpose for our lives.  Yes, we pursue and value our careers, financial security, family relationships, social lives, and worldly interests, but if one doesn't get the underlying foundation down of who we are and why we're here, it'll be hard to find success or contentment with these other things.

I recognize that a large number of people are repulsed by religion.  And the ones struggling here on this site that are, fail to recognize the connection between religion and life, particularly with one's relationships and worldly problems.  I won't insist that being a Christian is the formula for an easy, trouble free life.  But, I do know that it's the foundation of a meaningful, purpose driven life which you seem to lack.  And not having that foundation makes it a lot harder to be motivated and to manage the worldly challenges that we all face.

If you can open your heart and mind enough to consider this aspect, I encourage you to spend an hour watching this excellent video sermon.  Come on now, you have the time and its free before you, so try some religious truth and see if it might be just what you need.


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Thank you for the responses. However, I don't want to make this into a religious thing. Please respect that.

Fair enough loveableplatypus.  I wish you well.

Hi lovableplatypus,

I can relate to how you are feeling.
I'm also past my mid twenties and always was alone. Obviously I know there must be something wrong with me if I'm not fitting in anywhere I go.

Anxiety, depression and not really having the will to even live this crap life, since I remember.

People reading this next paragraph might not like my unkindness, but: I'm jealous of the people who are only isolating during this pandemic. I am even pissed off when I read about how people who have close emotional connections, basically all their life, can't handle a couple of weeks or months cutting down on their social life. I am jealous that the reality of my life is that I don't just not have those things for a few weeks, but I'm not having those things for decades/a lifetime.

I feel like I'm going insane being in this tiny flat 24/7 on end alone, not having any contact to the outside world, and having to turn my pennies to survive this crap life. I am starting an internship next week and I don't know how I'm going to handle it with this low self esteem, awkwardness, shyness, anxiety, social anxiety, exhaustion, deteriorating social skills (ok. I never had any social skills to begin with), brain confusion.
I was using alcohol too a lot, in my early twenties. Before that I was an anorexic ghost. Now food restriction is some kind of rediscovered compulsion that brings pleasure to my brain.