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NickJP

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Nick here. 46 from West Midlands.

I separated from my wife last year (she left me taking my ten-year-old son with her). This pretty much crushed me. She left me in a house which I couldn't afford to pay the rent on, short of confidence and no direction. I have very few friends and have had no relationships since. My only real social outlet is my son who is my world. Without him I don't know where I'd be... I'd love to make new friends and form new relationships but I just can't seem to move forward with life.

I'm now living with my parents, furloughed from work (which, if I'm honest I don't think I'll go back to as the business will probably go under) with no real future ahead of me. It's very tough and I appreciate and very much sympathise with what many on here are going through, I really do!

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.
 
There is life after relationships. It just takes a while to feel human again.
I've been alone for 20 yrs or so now. I have learned to adjust.
I do everything alone, all the time, every day and every hour. 
If I can survive so can you.
I am sorry for your loss. But you will at some point have to pick yourself up by your boot straps & carry on. Nobody is gonna do it for you. So you're gonna have to dig deep & be strong for your kid.
As well as for yourself. It will get better. In the meantime, do your grieving & allow yourself to start whatever healing process you need. Now is a tough time for this with the coronavirus so it's gonna be a little harder. Just hang in there ok??
 
MarciKS said:
There is life after relationships. It just takes a while to feel human again.
I've been alone for 20 yrs or so now. I have learned to adjust.
I do everything alone, all the time, every day and every hour. 
If I can survive so can you.
I am sorry for your loss. But you will at some point have to pick yourself up by your boot straps & carry on. Nobody is gonna do it for you. So you're gonna have to dig deep & be strong for your kid.
As well as for yourself. It will get better. In the meantime, do your grieving & allow yourself to start whatever healing process you need. Now is a tough time for this with the coronavirus so it's gonna be a little harder. Just hang in there ok??

Thanks.

I'm just staying afloat at the moment.
 
NickJP said:
Nick here. 46 from West Midlands.

I separated from my wife last year (she left me taking my ten-year-old son with her). This pretty much crushed me. She left me in a house which I couldn't afford to pay the rent on, short of confidence and no direction. I have very few friends and have had no relationships since. My only real social outlet is my son who is my world. Without him I don't know where I'd be... I'd love to make new friends and form new relationships but I just can't seem to move forward with life.

I'm now living with my parents, furloughed from work (which, if I'm honest I don't think I'll go back to as the business will probably go under) with no real future ahead of me. It's very tough and I appreciate and very much sympathise with what many on here are going through, I really do!

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.

Do something nice for yourself. It sounds like you need it.
 
Hi

Maybe you need to take a moment to stand still before worrying about moving forward. Just a thought. Either way - welcome :)
 
NickJP said:
Nick here. 46 from West Midlands.

I separated from my wife last year (she left me taking my ten-year-old son with her). This pretty much crushed me. She left me in a house which I couldn't afford to pay the rent on, short of confidence and no direction. I have very few friends and have had no relationships since. My only real social outlet is my son who is my world. Without him I don't know where I'd be... I'd love to make new friends and form new relationships but I just can't seem to move forward with life.

I'm now living with my parents, furloughed from work (which, if I'm honest I don't think I'll go back to as the business will probably go under) with no real future ahead of me. It's very tough and I appreciate and very much sympathise with what many on here are going through, I really do!

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.

It will take a while to get over it, so grieve over it. But set some kind of a deadline and tell yourself you’re done grieving. If not you will go down the river of loneliness. What you should do now is start enjoying life even if you are alone. Enjoy a day at a park or museum or take a vacation alone, join a hiking club. Drink coffee or tea somewhere and be grateful for what you have, no matter how small … life, health, a job, coffee, etc. If you are happy by yourself, you will have a better life, and the less miserable you are, the healthier you are, not only physically but emotionally. And you will be an enjoyable company to others, and it is possible, romance would not be far along. And also if you get to see your son and you are always a wreck or lonely, think how it will affect him. Better to see a happy dad and he will perceive that as strength. Of course, you have to make sure that he doesn’t think that you’re happy because they’re gone from your life and explain that you can’t let life take you down.
 

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