MarcicKS, I too can relate to your disappointments and frustrations since it is I who consistently give more than I receive in my friend and family relationships. I write everyone I know at least twice a year, just to stay in touch and let them know I think and care about them. Very few reciprocate and over half of them don't even respond at all. For most of my life, I've also spent vacations taking road trips to visit most of my friends and family regularly. Very few reciprocate with even a minimum effort.
I've actually made several good, or at least worthwhile, friends during my life, but lost half of them along the way because they weren't willing to stay in touch even with my repeated efforts. I'm confident that they enjoyed and appreciated my companionship at the time, but they obviously didn't value the relationship as much as me. And thus, what most people seem to want is a relationship of convenience only. If you're there for them, giving them the type of companionship they want at the time, they serve as friends. If you're not there, not available, or unable to fill their niche need of the time, you're easily neglected or forgotten.
I think there's two causes of this phenomenon that each of us here experience. The first is natural laziness, which most of my contacts exhibit by not liking or wanting to write. If I call, they're happy to talk, but getting them to respond to an email is often impossible. Getting them to plan for a visit, a trip, or even an activity can be a challenge because it requires effort and commitment that laziness tends to inhibit. The second is a true lack of love that prevents people from thinking or caring about others instead of themselves. Selfishness is the norm, and most relationships are established on what one person thinks he can get from the other. Few people have the love in their heart to seek out others with the intent of "giving" friendship rather than "receiving" it.
So you say, "But I'm sick of getting hurt. I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than have to continue with this BS facade that people call friendship." Let me add a Christian perspective to the problem which we all agree exists.
As a Christian yourself, you know that life is about relationships. Our entire purpose here in this life is to know and love God, and to show love and kindness to others. That's our mission, and as we meet people along the way and reach out to them, we're occasionally blessed with a relationship that's worthwhile - a real give and take, sharing friendship. This is what we all seek of course, but its the exception, not the rule. In any case, the Christian, or any loving person for that matter, should be seeking out friendships with others, not for pure selfish intents, but for selfless intents. That's an unreasonably high standard of course, but I'd suggest that a pursuit of both might be an achievable goal.
In my case, it doesn't seem fair that I give 80% of my time, efforts, and care towards all of the relationships in my life, only to get 20% of the same back. But, that 20% is worth it all the same. And more importantly, I know that all of my time and effort devoted to the people in my life is a way of showing love, and that's what God wants from me. In reality, I get a little bit of payback now wth my friendships, but the big reward will come later in the next life. We're here to learn how to love. And giving more love than receiving is a worthy pursuit that you shouldn't give up on. I'd suggest that you continue to offer and give your time, interest, and care towards everyone you meet, but expect little or nothing in return. You may never know how much of a blessing your efforts will be upon another, but such will probably be the case. And in the end, your efforts will not only please the Lord and earn you a reward in heaven, but it'll make you a better, loving person - someone you'll like being.
