I have to admit to finding the current situation-in lockdown because of covid 19-really hard to cope with. Before it happened, I had more or less come to accept being single and alone for the rest of my life and had started to not feel as lonely as I have felt for all my adult life because of accepting the situation. But now I am back to square one, in the way I am feeling. I live alone with my cat and really long for the lockdown to end so that I can meet people again. A happily married friend, or former friend, told me on Facebook how glad she was to be spending more time with her husband, about how they rarely socialised anyway, so the lockdown was a good thing for her. When I tried to tell her I found it incredibly lonely, she was completely non supportive and judgemental towards me. I am helping others in practical ways and not just sitting around whining, but I had to come here to say how hard I am finding it being on my own.
Being alone all the time
- Thread starter Tiina63
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
Tiina63 said:
Hi Tina,
You're certainly not alone in finding the lock down tough, it's a real drag. I'm sorry your supposed friend wasn't supportive, I see no reason for her not to have been more helpful. Some people are strange, but nevermind.
It's good to have places like this to come and express things, communicating and being listened to are very important for showing that you're valued. If you'd like to have an ear to talk to, please feel free to PM me.
All the best.
Tiina63 said:
Everyone's finding it different. Don't worry about others. I've found it very mixed. I think it's highlighted the loneliness issue for me because I used to go to sign up for different evening talks so that was basically my social life. Now everything's cancelled. People are doing Zoom/facetime calls with friends, but I have none so I have not interacted with anyone outside work in 2 months. Before, I could try to ignore the lack of friends but now it's really standing out.
Do you work or anything?
Zelazek
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Hi Tina,
I appreciate what you say about the lockdown making you feel lonelier than ever. In my quiet moments I do too.
Before the lockdown and being furloughed, I had sort of reconciled myself to being lonely and being alone for the rest of my life. I was once happily married with a good circle of friends. With divorce I lost the comfort of an intimate relationship. I discovered the support of some friends also falls away when you are no longer part of coupledom. That was twenty years ago. I hoped I might marry again but nothing ever happened and I don't expect it to happen now. I particularly miss human touch (how I would love to walk down the street holding a woman's hand again!) and the sharing of emotions, dreams and ambitions with someone you trust.
In recent years I learned that keeping busy with not just my job but with hobbies and various projects took my my mind off my loneliness. But during this lockdown - I haven't spoken to anyone face-to-face for over a month - I have had many gloomy moments of dwelling on my isolation and my sense of failure as a social being. Keeping my spirits up has become my priority. Maintaining contact with the few people I know through texts, phone calls and letters has been good. I forget my own problems when I am feeling concern and thinking about others. If I catch myself wallowing in self-pity, I try and snap out of it and force myself to do something else. Taking advantage of all this free time to write a history of my family is giving me some joy.
I am sorry your married friend is not very supportive. Perhaps she is not as happy as she says she is. But you do have your cat. A neighbour's cat sometimes wanders into my house. I keep a small supply of cat treats for him because he is my only visitor at the moment and I appreciate his friendship.
I appreciate what you say about the lockdown making you feel lonelier than ever. In my quiet moments I do too.
Before the lockdown and being furloughed, I had sort of reconciled myself to being lonely and being alone for the rest of my life. I was once happily married with a good circle of friends. With divorce I lost the comfort of an intimate relationship. I discovered the support of some friends also falls away when you are no longer part of coupledom. That was twenty years ago. I hoped I might marry again but nothing ever happened and I don't expect it to happen now. I particularly miss human touch (how I would love to walk down the street holding a woman's hand again!) and the sharing of emotions, dreams and ambitions with someone you trust.
In recent years I learned that keeping busy with not just my job but with hobbies and various projects took my my mind off my loneliness. But during this lockdown - I haven't spoken to anyone face-to-face for over a month - I have had many gloomy moments of dwelling on my isolation and my sense of failure as a social being. Keeping my spirits up has become my priority. Maintaining contact with the few people I know through texts, phone calls and letters has been good. I forget my own problems when I am feeling concern and thinking about others. If I catch myself wallowing in self-pity, I try and snap out of it and force myself to do something else. Taking advantage of all this free time to write a history of my family is giving me some joy.
I am sorry your married friend is not very supportive. Perhaps she is not as happy as she says she is. But you do have your cat. A neighbour's cat sometimes wanders into my house. I keep a small supply of cat treats for him because he is my only visitor at the moment and I appreciate his friendship.
I have been alone and have self isolated for over a decade now. It is extremely rare to even speak to another person. It only occurs when I'm picking up supplies. I usually smile because it seems to make things easier. But, some act like it's an invitation to talk to me. It's kind of funny because I have to clear my throat and my voice starts off sounding all weird. I think it gets interpreted as me being infected. People seem to get scared and back away from me. No loss. Ha! Ha! At home I feel completely normal. But, ****, I really feel weird when I go out for stuff. It's like, has the world gone completely crazy or something. I often wonder if I'll eventually loose the ability to speak. I really don't care. I really would like to loose my ability to hear. Then I could shut out even more of the world.
lol if you actually think extroverts are staying home. We are not winning anything and as soon the lockdown is over the popular people will have 10 times more company than us, due to all the lost time.
Xpendable said:
Some are following it. Depends on the person. Those that are following it are finding it much more difficult than people that wouldn't be out socialising anyway. And afterwards, things will just go back to normal. There might be an increase in social things for a month or two then things will be back to normal.
