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How do you cope with knowing your closest family member used to hate you?
#1
My sister and I were drunk with some of our friends. We were talking about childhood stories. She told us all she used to not like me at all, when we were kids.

I mean when I think of it I know she didn't always like me. She used to bully me a lot but in our teens and nowadays we are somewhat good friends. I just never realised it as a child. I didn't always like her because she bullied me but I also always generally liked her. I always enjoyed her company, even as today. Idk how to feel about that. But why didn't she like me? I have no idea. I never asked. We don't talk about those things, we never will. I just don't understand. I always liked her company but at the same time she could be so mean. This is the thing from being a baby to this day.

Hearing her saying it just kind of broke my heart there and then. She was a bully to me and never defended me etc but somehow we always went through stuff together. We never discussed these themes. We just went along with whatever we had. But to hear her say that she didn't like me at all as kids breaks my heart.

It's been over a year since she said it. I don't even know if she remembers saying this. All my life I've always felt bad about myself and felt inferior about everything and sometimes this memory wants to destroy everything.
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#2
Why exactly will you never talk about it? I get that sometimes two people just don't go there, but it might be worth giving it a try.

As for the bullying, I think sometimes, siblings just do that. My brothers did some terrible things to me growing up, but I got really close with one of them for a while (before he met and married a stupid bitch...long story) and my other brother and I are...well, not close, but we would do anything in our power for each other. I'm not sure what she never defended you about, but just because you never saw her do it doesn't necessarily mean she never did. For some people it's a behind the scenes type of thing. I don't know why, but she may have just not wanted you to know about it. I'm not saying she did or didn't, but it's a possibility that she might have.

As for how to cope with it, I guess you have to ask yourself why you are holding on to it in the first place. Yes, it obviously hurts and bothers you, but as you said, things are good between you now, so if you don't want to talk to her about it, the best thing to do would be to try to let it go. The past can't hurt us unless we keep reliving it, unless we refuse to let it be the past.
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#3
Sometimes siblings just don't get along for whatever reason, some worse than others. My mother and her siblings have had their moments, there is some resentment between them. My mom was the oldest so her sisters got her hand-me-downs, my aunt hated it since she never got anything new. Growing up my aunt was always in competition with my mom. She got married before my mom, had kids before my mom, if my mom bought a new car my aunt would buy a new car etc. My aunt decided to get my brother and I baptized at her church when we were little because my mom hadn't done it yet. We're of different religion! They get along now, but when they were young there was jealously and resentment.

My two uncles, for whatever reason they DO NOT get along at all. They don't even speak to each other anymore. It's terrible. My older uncle is selfish, he'll only do something for you if there is something in it for him. His younger brother is a nice guy who has had a lot of bad happen to him. I do not know why they dislike each other so much. My other aunt, who I don't even consider family anymore is a selfish two-faced backstabbing bitch. That's the nicest way I can describe her. When they were younger she found out that my grandfather was having an affair and manipulated him to get whatever she wanted. She's despicable.

My brother and I don't get along, we talk to each other but we're not close. He's always been bossy ever since we were kids and he's never grown out of it. He thinks he should always get the better of anything. People see it too, one lady we know once told me she can always tell us apart because I'm the nice twin. It bugs me when he tells me what to do or criticizes me. If I do it to him, holy hell. There are times we go a week or more without directly talking to each other. Funny thing is people think we get along great. LOL!!

My point, you can't help what other people do or think or how they act. It can hurt more when it's a sibling but what can you do? Nothing. You can't change someone, they have to come into it on their own. But the one thing I saw is that you said your sister used to not like you, that sounds like a positive. Good to focus on that and leave the negative in the past.
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