My story

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Nintastic

New member
Joined
May 21, 2020
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Hello everyone , warning if you read ahead , you wont believe the life/luck I'm having currently ... a brief overview of past and present. I'm writing this for two reasons , the first to empty my head, the second it's sometimes easier talking to strangers than anyone else. Anyway,  let me begin, 

I was fourteen , went to school on a rainy friday and returned by school bus to find out when I knocked on my home door as it was locked for some reason to be answered by some stranger .....it transpired my parents had moved house when I was at school and still till this day some 20 plus years later never seen them since. 

Move on 3 years later , in my best friends car coming back from the coast to be hit by a drunk driver , both trapped which seemed like eternity , my best friend died that day  beside me  I survived ......I moved in with him since my ahem parents left.

Move on a few years later , meet a girl , fall in love, bought a house,  , everything to me seemed great as everyone else around me did to. A saturday morning while making her breakfast in bed , a letter arrived addressed to both of us , I opened it up to read in shock from it was from  a solicitor explaining taking her name of the mortgage to put solely in mine had started ???!!! Still taking the breakfast ( I know mad )upstairs  handed it over, she smiled kissed me, told me how much she loved me etc and asked why I looked puzzled , I passed her the letter , her face changed, I didn't want to shout and scream I needed to cool down so I said I'd head into work early and we'd talk later...got downstairs the phone rang it was her mum , explained the situation to her , she said she'd head over and talk to her. She came into work had a coffee and asked me if it was okay to stay at her mums for the night for some space and to clear her head she said. I said that would be fine just text me when u get there so I know your safe.

Got home at 10pm opened the front door to find a complete ransacked house ...her mum did come round but not to talk but with a van and emptied and took everything and I mean everything we had! Complete mess I was. 

Move forward again ....

After taking a few years off with everything trying to rebuild what little I had left , I met my soul mate , the movie kind of l o v e ( I dont say that word anymore)  filled with magic sprinkles ,flying unicorns , smiles and giggles. After an amazing weekend away , I decided to take the plunge and buy THE ring and plan the question. Bought the ring tuesday of the week we came back , Wednesday morning recieved THAT txt ....its to much , it's to perfect , ur to good for me etc , I took the ring back thursday ....the same bloke who sold it to me said wrong size , I answered no wrong woman ! I wanted the ground to open up on me , that was 6 months ago. It's still so raw ....but it gets worse .....that's for later on. 

My best girl friend I've ever had and known who was the one who got me through most things in life passed away to cancer 5 weeks ago. She was more like a sister to me , she was my everything,  everything good in my life has gone. I couldn't visit her because of the Corona virus ...I havnt cried yet , I carnt, I'll explain .......two days later I recieved a call to let me know my 'bilogical' dad had passed away. He was still my dad even if I havnt seen him for years and years. I cannot mourn   I dont want to disrespect my best friend with my 'dad's my head is spinning.

Now the kicker , my birthday last week  , a friend called to see if I would be in , I was , I was expecting a crate of beer but when he came round he said he had something to tell me before I heard it off anyone else ...( he forgot it was my birthday ) he let me know he was seeing my ex , the girl I wanted to marry and make smile for the rest of our lives. 

Inside I'm devastated,  outside I put on a facade , I make people smile, giggle at work even just today,  all my energy I have is used to put my face on when I walk through works door. I look around and see happy people ,work colleagues come to me for advice , i even helped one who confided to me she was self harming ,she thanked me the other day as shes in a better place now. I smiled replied that's my job.  I  wear my heart on my sleeve. 

Now alone at home , I sit here and my head just spins , I know theres people out there even worse than me but I know ..noone has ever l o v e d me for me , even my parents didnt so it must be me .....I just want my bestfriend to hold my hand and I'll know without speaking it will with her but I havnt. 

Relationships are great together but they also cause the greatest pain to. Sorry for rambling and if you have read this far , I'm okay just , I dont drink or even take a paracetamol for a headache. I just want to be me again but when I am I loose everything to.
 
Oh my dear friend. I cried reading this.
Feel free to write whatever you want and we are all here for eachother.
I don't have words enough to make you feel better. But my heart is with you.
 
You are a fighter! But even a fighter needs support. I help people to make the best out of their life. I am here if you need anything anytime. Feel free to message me anytime. All the best! :)
 
Nintastic, your story's an interesting one for sure, and you've certainly had several tough chapters in the early years of your life.  You know though, that you're probably still towards the beginning of your life's book and that there's likely to be several good chapters to come.  As they say in the financial world, past results don't necessarily indicate future returns.

There are swarms of true life movies made on the lives of people who have had more than their fair share of difficulties, but overcome them in the end.  These are the inspirational movies that most of us enjoy and admire but don't actually experience for ourselves.  It seems that some people have more interesting and dramatic lives while others live mundane, normal lives.  There's something to be said though for the first case.  Though a harder life full of difficulties can seem unfair, it also provides opportunity for a more fulfilling life.

I believe for good reason that life is about relationships, and each relationship we experience, both good and bad, shapes us.  One can try to avoid the bad relationships and their effects but that's not a realistic expectation in this messed up world.  Consider, if God put us here with a purpose in life to learn how to love him and others, then interaction with others is the right path, be it good or bad.  It's not our goal to control the actions of others around us or to even control all of the situations we get ourselves into.  Rather, it's our goal to control our responses to these things.  One can choose to be defeated by them or to be improved by them.

So far, it appears that you've accepted and handled your setbacks well.  Good for you.  Now I encourage you to stay strong and optimistic for the future and to trust God through the difficulties that come into your life's path.  This short and temporary life is our training ground for the eternal one that lies ahead, so use your extraordinary experiences to become the better person that God wants you to be.  Your blessings will come, later if not sooner.

I just discovered a new Christian music video last week that applies to you.  It's an exceptional sweet tune and encouraging message worth 3 minutes of your time.



[size=small]Now if that hits you right, then I have a longer sermon that also applies to you, as well as most others here.  It addresses how we should face life's challenges and disappointments.


[size=small]
 

Latest posts

Back
Top