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Just venting
#1
Hi
This is a venting post.
Do men get turned on by humiliating their partners? Does it give them a feeling of superiority by telling them they are useless? That they did a terrible job raising the kids? That they are stupid and know nothing?
This verbal and emotional abuse..does thus really turn them on?
I can see no other reason for all that.
Sorry friends. Just venting.

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#2
(06-05-2020, 05:39 AM)Broken heart Wrote: Hi
This is a venting post.
Do men get turned on by humiliating their partners? Does it give them a feeling of superiority by telling them they are useless? That they did a terrible job raising the kids? That they are stupid and know nothing?
This verbal and emotional abuse..does thus really turn them on?
I can see no other reason for all that.
Sorry friends. Just venting.

Sorry for what you’re going through. Sad   I have no idea what makes any person “get off “ on humiliation tactics. You deserve more.
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#3
(06-05-2020, 05:39 AM)Broken heart Wrote: Hi
This is a venting post.
Do men get turned on by humiliating their partners? Does it give them a feeling of superiority by telling them they are useless? That they did a terrible job raising the kids? That they are stupid and know nothing?
This verbal and emotional abuse..does thus really turn them on?
I can see no other reason for all that.
Sorry friends. Just venting.

Man here.  I'm no stranger to venting.  There's nothing to apologize for.

Anyway, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I don't get turned on by any of that.  I don't want to do anything like that at all, and I don't have any instinct or drive to act that way.  I don't want to be submissive and weak, but I strongly dislike dominant people, I really don't like being treated that way myself, so I don't want to do it to others - especially someone I actually like, such as someone I'd be in a relationship with. I don't think it's pleasant or healthy at all.

In fact, my vents are often the opposite of your questions.  I often worry that the majority of women prefer dominant men, and see you as a weak unattractive loser if you won't/can't make verbal dominance displays, especially through mocking and ridicule, either towards women or other men, to prove to the women that you have strength, rank, and power over other people.

I'm glad to see that you don't like it either.  I totally agree with you, and wish more people thought this way.

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#4
(06-05-2020, 06:27 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: Man here.  I'm no stranger to venting.  There's nothing to apologize for.

Anyway, I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I don't get turned on by any of that.  I don't want to do anything like that at all, and I don't have any instinct or drive to act that way.  I don't want to be submissive and weak, but I strongly dislike dominant people, I really don't like being treated that way myself, so I don't want to do it to others - especially someone I actually like, such as someone I'd be in a relationship with.  I don't think it's pleasant or healthy at all.

In fact, my vents are often the opposite of your questions.  I often worry that the majority of women prefer dominant men, and see you as a weak unattractive loser if you won't/can't make verbal dominance displays, especially through mocking and ridicule, either towards women or other men, to prove to the women that you have strength, rank, and power over other people.

I'm glad to see that you don't like it either.  I totally agree with you, and wish more people thought this way.

Hello.
Oh women do like dominant men alright. But let me give you an example:
Man: you sit here NOW and I will clean the up. There is no way you would clean with your headache.

Man: no waman will ever pay in a restaurant when I am around
🤔 THIS kind of dominane believe me is wildly accepted trust me 😂

I think when a man assumes his role of protecting and providing (not necessarily be the sole income provider) without berating the woman while doing that, it is when the woman also assumes her role as the gentleness and kindness in the relationship.
It is not the dominance that is now discusses in books as opposite of submission, but the taking charge, the being-responsible, the big heart.

Jeez..I am all sappy.
Thanks for replying.
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#5
(06-05-2020, 05:39 AM)Broken heart Wrote: Hi
This is a venting post.
Do men get turned on by humiliating their partners? Does it give them a feeling of superiority by telling them they are useless? That they did a terrible job raising the kids? That they are stupid and know nothing?
This verbal and emotional abuse..does thus really turn them on?
I can see no other reason for all that.
Sorry friends. Just venting.

If the 'man' in question has no respect or regard for his partner and has to resort to verbal abuse in order to express himself - in short, is an asshole - then, yes. . . I guess such men get turned on by acting like this. 

(And, no - I don't think the majority of women prefer 'dominant men'. The behavior described above is a man being a spineless prick, the type that feels he has to debase other people in order to feel superior. This is not a man. A true man behaves in a respectful, loving, thoughtful way. He expresses empathy and compassion to his partner, and considers her needs. When there is conflict, he doesn't lash out with hatred and vitriol - he states facts, he remains calm and he talks things through rationally. I know because I'm blessed to have a man like this.) 

Advice: don't settle for less. You deserve it.
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#6
BH I know this isn't the first time he's been like this with you, to be honest it's a sign of inferiority on his part. I have seen things like this with friends and family members, and what I always see underneath it all is a kind of very deep insecurity on the part of the person who is being nasty.

One tactic might be to have a very patronising chat with him, almost like a counselling session, to ask him what's so wrong with him that it makes him act that way. He honestly needs to wake up to the fact that it isn't acceptable.
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#7
(06-05-2020, 05:39 AM)Broken heart Wrote: Hi
This is a venting post.
Do men get turned on by humiliating their partners? Does it give them a feeling of superiority by telling them they are useless? That they did a terrible job raising the kids? That they are stupid and know nothing?
This verbal and emotional abuse..does thus really turn them on?
I can see no other reason for all that.
Sorry friends. Just venting.

Yeah, sometimes it's kind of nice crushing someone else's day when yours really sucked. It's kind of a transference. Boys like killing bugs and kicking animals for fun. When they grow up they move on to large things to torture. Besides, if you tell your partner they are ugly, stupid, etc, etc, etc enough times they'll never leave. They belief that nobody else would want them. I've never been able to do that though. I've always praised the women I've been involved with. Then they feel wonderful and find someone else higher up on the ladder. Ha! ha!
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#8
So sad. So true
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#9
I find it hard to find balance. When ive been OVERLY nice, OVERLY polite, and OVERLY generous, i either get taken advantage of or abused.

When i've been marhinally cunty because of unwarranted attitude, ive felt totally shit and then go OVERLY apologetic, polite, nice, generous and get shit again.

I wish i could just date a woman ive dreamt up. Would be so simpler.
"At some point, we've all won that race - us vs at least 40,000,000 others... Seems a bit silly to give up now."
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#10
(06-19-2020, 01:06 PM)Silence Is Deafening Wrote: I find it hard to find balance. When ive been OVERLY nice, OVERLY polite, and OVERLY generous, i either get taken advantage of or abused.

When i've been marhinally cunty because of unwarranted attitude, ive felt totally shit and then go OVERLY apologetic, polite, nice, generous and get shit again.

I wish i could just date a woman ive dreamt up. Would be so simpler.

Women are going to be screwed when female androids become a reality. They'll be no more game playing. Well, unless that's what you want. Women will simply be cut out of the loop. I would give my entire life savings right now if one was available to purchase. But, alas, I'll be dead and gone before that reality comes to fruition.
[Image: ?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia...f=1&nofb=1]
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