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Lonely Soul in Toronto
#1
I grew up with cruel parents. I was an anxious kid and they made it so much worse than it had to be. I was both badly neglected and treated very poorly. I was very unhappy throughout my youth and became increasingly reclusive over time. I don't have happy childhood memories. I felt very alienated from my peers in high school and university was very difficult for me. After graduating I felt like I couldn't get a full time job and get my own place for a bit. In hindsight it's obvious, but living with and depending on such cruel people was the root of my problems. To make a long story short, I had some major epiphanies and I miraculously worked up the courage to leave them and go out in the world on my own. Despite being scared, suddenly everything dramatically improved. The anxiety went down significantly, I made a couple of good friends, I was able to get gainful employment, my own place, and a car. I went from living in chaos to living in a clean orderly environment. I started reading more, exercising more, eating healthier, and developed good outdoorsy hobbies.

But now I'm mostly alone. My friends are long distance and I have no relationship. The quarantine is definitely not helping. By healing from my issues I finally feel like I can really let someone into my life, but I've also somehow brought my loneliness to my attention that was previously dormant. I've dated a bit, but I find myself incompatible with most women. I fantasized about meeting a girl who experienced a troubled life like my own and who has the potential to escape it, helping her heal from it as I did and creating an incredible bond.

I then met that girl. Normally I feel ashamed about my loneliness and perceived inadequacies, but with her I felt proud of my accomplishments. She opened up about her struggles and they were just like mine. But out of nowhere she unexpectedly disappeared out of my life. It really broke my heart, but at least it showed me that there are people out there like me. That being said I have no idea how to find them and it's left me feeling very lonely.

I just thought I'd share my story with some likeminded people.
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#2
Everytime I read a post like yours it breaks a little part of my heart..because ..ah..there are so many lonely people looking for others like them. And the other are also looking. And they can't find each other. I must say I am so proud of your achievments even though I don't know you personaly. But just the fact that you did all that and came out a winner. Chapeau for you. For sure you will find another person who will fill your heart and mind. But please be kind to her. Good luck.
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#3
(06-19-2020, 07:31 AM)Broken heart Wrote: Everytime I read a post like yours it breaks a little part of my heart..because ..ah..there are so many lonely people looking for others like them. And the other are also looking. And they can't find each other. I must say I am so proud of your achievments even though I don't know you personaly. But just the fact that you did all that and came out a winner. Chapeau for you. For sure you will find another person who will fill your heart and mind. But please be kind to her. Good luck.

I appreciate the kind words. I often undervalue my accomplishments because I consider them pretty common and easily achieved by most.
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#4
No. You should never do that. Because growing up with cruel or unloving parent usually make kids turn to cruel or hateful adults. With hundreds of issues, probably the best known is under-achieving people. Who always fail becausr they cant ever see they are good enough. And so, reach out for little and really achieve nothing. But you did not do that. 

And in fact you are looking to improve yourself. So again, very admirable. 
But anyway..I guess this doesnt solve loneliness issue..right?
What about a local church?
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