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Relationships and Friendships.
#1
What in your experience keeps them alive.Until recently I thought laughter was all important but now i'm not so sure.I watch my other half and my brother and they rarely laugh yet their friendships last for years.I'm questioning this lately because the condition i now have means I can only work part time because I can't drive and I rely on my partner for transport . It is obvious its effecting our relationship.I know she still cares and looks after me but it's obviously difficult and effecting how we get on together.I should be able to drive next year which is going to make things I hope ok again but I'm just thinking loving someone and laughing together isn't enough.
I don't have great experience with friendships only having a couple in my twenties so I'm interested in what keeps them consistent.

So what keeps yours alive.What is all important to you.What has kept them consistent?What do you think has ended them.Why do you think you have been terminated as a friend or a partner?Why have you you ended them?Give examples if you like.

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#2
Well, I've had several friendships over the years. As long as I was helping them everything was great. Well, at least for them. But, when I pulled back a little they would disappear. Once I stopped helping them the friendships were completely over. I've ended a few friendships as well though. When someone screws me over I'm done with them. Trust is everything to me even in a friendship. If someone screws you over once they will do it again.

Year ago, I also wondered why it seems that many people easily make and have friends. So, I asked co-workers about their friendships. I questioned them about their friends and they started getting mad. It turned out that 100% of them have been screwed over/cheated on by their friends/partners/loved ones. I was actually shocked. So, I asked them why they stayed friends with them. They, again, angrily replied that their friendships also brought them pleasure. They said you have to forgive people for their mistakes. I asked how can you trust them again. They said you can't. But, you get out of the friendship whatever you can. They said they have lunch friends, party friends, activity friends. You just have to keep them in those boundaries.

I must be a good helper friend. Unfortunately I want more then just helping other people with their problems. So, I'll keep to myself.

So, to answer your question. Since you are a guy, if you have a girlfriend or female companion of some sort, you absolutely must eat box lunches at her Y. Because some other guy will and she will be gone. Ha! ha!

Or, what seems to work for a lot of couples is to trap each other. Having a baby and or lots of debt seems to do the trick. When they feel like leaving they realize it would be too difficult and or costly to leave. So they stay and make the best out of the situation.

Apparently you have to figure out what you can contribute to a friendship and what you can get out of a friendship. When those things match someone else then you are good to go. Just keep the friendship in whatever zone or area suits you best because that's what they are doing to you.
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#3
(06-26-2020, 12:10 AM)Finished Wrote: Well, I've had several friendships over the years. As long as I was helping them everything was great. Well, at least for them. But, when I pulled back a little they would disappear. Once I stopped helping them the friendships were completely over. I've ended a few friendships as well though. When someone screws me over I'm done with them. Trust is everything to me even in a friendship. If someone screws you over once they will do it again.

Year ago, I also wondered why it seems that many people easily make and have friends. So, I asked co-workers about their friendships. I questioned them about their friends and they started getting mad. It turned out that 100% of them have been screwed over/cheated on by their friends/partners/loved ones. I was actually shocked. So, I asked them why they stayed friends with them. They, again, angrily replied that their friendships also brought them pleasure. They said you have to forgive people for their mistakes. I asked how can you trust them again. They said you can't. But, you get out of the friendship whatever you can. They said they have lunch friends, party friends, activity friends. You just have to keep them in those boundaries.

I must be a good helper friend. Unfortunately I want more then just helping other people with their problems. So, I'll keep to myself.

So, to answer your question. Since you are a guy, if you have a girlfriend or female companion of some sort, you absolutely must eat box lunches at her Y. Because some other guy will and she will be gone. Ha! ha!

Or, what seems to work for a lot of couples is to trap each other. Having a baby and or lots of debt seems to do the trick. When they feel like leaving they realize it would be too difficult and or costly to leave. So they stay and make the best out of the situation.

Apparently you have to figure out what you can contribute to a friendship and what you can get out of a friendship. When those things match someone else then you are good to go. Just keep the friendship in whatever zone or area suits you best because that's what they are doing to you.

Thanks Finished for responding.I gotta start lol what does the lunchbox reference mean has it sexual connotations ,I'm English by the way.

Yeah my over half is quite adept at recognising the users now like you and is very good at easing them from her friendship group.She also seems to advise her friends alot but they seem to be grateful ,send her presents want to meet up for coffee,but being female I suppose they possibly have closer friendships.Are you a techie wizard or something like that is that why people seek friendship with you.You are obviously very intelligent just wondered have you thought of making friends without letting them know of your expertise maybe introduce that later on when your confident they are not users and just want to be friends for your personality alone.l do go to a games nite with my brother and his friends but the interest is a common one basically a boys nite sort of thing winning money being the main object lol.But I have no clue how their friendships last so long but my brother seems to be the instigator of activities possibly a big reason he has so many friends and he is very extrovert the opposite of me .

'Re relationships I think it's ok I have been married for 28 years and she is my friend too so I know...I hope she wouldn't have someone on the side cause she knows I'd kill him lol...nail his lunch box to the ceiling..not that I have a temper lol.I'm sure your work survey maybe a bit not reflecting society as a whole but I could be wrong.


Anyone else got a view would be interesting how friendships last a long time especially ladies who's friendships seem to be closer.

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