az85029gal
Member
The lonely life I have been surviving due to my brother's presence. He having lost his wife and children estranged. This little brother that I have taken care of since forever, this little brother that my father instructed me was my responsibility "If he comes home crying you had better too" were his instructions and I have stuck to that. I put his family before myself, please don't misunderstand I loved helping. As hard as it is for others to understand it truly makes me happy knowing that family is happy. I did not look for thank you's I did not need them the smiles and hugs were so much better.
But today he drank and decided to tell me what he really thinks of me.
I truly must be a terrible terrible person, to have people that I have helped and been kind to, hate me.
I find myself with nothing, what reason do I have to get through the day. I get through the day, go to work because I breathe. If you breathe then you have bills and if you have bills you must work. This is not the life I dreamed of as a small girl.
When will the pain of being so lonely be greater than my fear of death.
I say I can take no more, but I always seem to be able to.
But the aching loneliness the daily pain inflicted is so hard to cope with.
What is wrong with me, why is this my path?
But today he drank and decided to tell me what he really thinks of me.
I truly must be a terrible terrible person, to have people that I have helped and been kind to, hate me.
I find myself with nothing, what reason do I have to get through the day. I get through the day, go to work because I breathe. If you breathe then you have bills and if you have bills you must work. This is not the life I dreamed of as a small girl.
When will the pain of being so lonely be greater than my fear of death.
I say I can take no more, but I always seem to be able to.
But the aching loneliness the daily pain inflicted is so hard to cope with.
What is wrong with me, why is this my path?